<p>o.k. so S got into a good BS (GROTELSEX), has 2340 SSAT, 28 ACT (34 one section). Three season talented starting athlete, great EC's etc. Was waitlisted at 4 high level schools, possibly influenced by need for very high FA. Older brother went to Andover, S waitlisted at A, so in Sept. we are off to our "alternative" school. So the problem then becomes he does not like rejection/ not achieving his goals, he intends to apply again next year for sophomore year. </p>
<p>How do you handle doing this? Do you call Andover and speak with admissions officer and indicate that we'll re-appply? Do we ask them to save the rec's from 8th grade teachers or do we get them repeated? </p>
<p>How do we go about doing this without offending current school? They were extremely generous with their FA package, possibly thinking that they had to be to get S to consider school. It would be kinda weird asking the new teachers for recommendations</p>
<p>Oh how much impact does having a sibling recently graduate from A/E have on waitlisting? It seems like all of the schools knew of the family connection with A, and would have likely expected that S would be admitted, and therefore all of the of the other schools would then not want to "waste" an acceptance on a student that would not be a likely admit (even though S was well qualified).</p>
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<li><p>It may not be a bad thing to go to a different school than a sibling (complicated for parents, but possibly healthy for your son to have his own unique place and where he can establish a reputation out of the shadow of the older sibling.</p></li>
<li><p>They won’t save the paperwork. If you reapply, you have to start over. Whether he gets in the second time depends on the applicant pool next year. </p></li>
<li><p>If he plans to go to his “back-up” school perhaps he’ll like it and want to stay after all. If not, why go - especially given the generous FA? Clearly they want him. Does he not like the school? Or just the idea of not achieving his goal? Why not open the spot for a student who really wants to be there for the long haul and just wait to reapply to Andover the following year?</p></li>
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<p>Some schools will be candid if you tell them you want to reapply and “may” tell you want things can enhance the second try. Depends on the school and the Adcom.</p>
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<li>Sibling preference is more rare than in past years - especially if FA is involved. If Andover was generous with the first son, they may not be able to do so for a second (usually two students in BS or college means more aid “per child” is needed and funds at most schools are more limited in this economy.) Hence the waitlist.</li>
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<p>So yes, talking to the school might give you some insight. It would be better than trying to guess at why the decision wasn’t an admission offer. But do consider that the school that took your son really wanted him. If he doesn’t feel the same, is it worth going only for a year? The reason I ask is that applications start in the fall, so he’s be asking for recommendations at the end of the first semester.</p>
<p>I agree with Exiemit on everything but would like to add to #4. To my ear it sounds like the waitlist is a courtesy one (ie we gave $ to the brother, he is now an alum, we dont want to make him unhappy, but we will not give any more aid to the family, hence the waitlist rather than an outright rejection) In which case they wont give you aid the following year as well.
Give the other school a chance - if he goes in thinking he will be transferring, his attitude will show to the professors who wont give him glowing recs, to the other students, that wont form strong bonds with him(and he may be waitlisted again), and for his general well being. After all, A (and this will be the unpopular opinion on this board) is hardly an end all be all of BS’s.</p>
<p>I’m not so sure if the Andover WL is a result of FA. My understanding is that final admissions decisions are made before need is even established at Andover. I say this because I explicitly asked the lady at FA at Andover if admits ever get sent back after need is determined. She told me no, that admissions sends over the kids it wants and they, in turn, fund them. When I expressed my amazement, she said that it was indeed amazing but there are a lot of people who really care about the school and want it to remain need-blind at all costs. Call me naive, but I believe her. :)</p>
<p>It does sound something like a courtesy and no one on this board would have any clue about why he was WL rather than admitted (or denied).</p>
<p>My advice would echo those of others. Love the school that loves you or wait it out a year and reapply to Andover if it’s really the only school he’ll be happy attending (and I doubt that is really true…though it may seem that way in the aftermath of the Andover WL).</p>
<p>Exie, I don’t like to contradict you, but an admissions officer from Andover told me that they DID keep paperwork on an applicant. However this may be because my child was waitllisted. </p>
<p>Timmy, contact Andover regarding this question and get a definitive answer. Also, tell your son to love the school that loves him. What’s wrong with Grottelsex anyway? It’s a top tier school, right? Is S2 being competitive with S1?</p>
<p>While many schools do keep the files of students from the previous admissions cycle, applicants still have to resubmit everything when they reapply. I think Exie interpreted the OPs question as being, “Can the old recommendations be used again?” In that case, exie is correct. You must submit new recs if you reapply.</p>
<p>This sentence stands out to me–probably because I have a kid just like this. I’m sure you’ve already talked to your son about this–but is his motivation here to get into the school he really wants or to prove he’s good enough? Or as good as his brother? I’d spend some time sorting out his real motivation (as best you can, given that this is a young teenage boy )before moving in any particular direction. </p>
<p>While my two boys get along remarkably well, I’m glad that they are going to have space away from each other to grow into themselves–they are both, to some extent, haunted by the other’s shadow.</p>
<p>But also, it isn’t clear that schools keep files on all their applicants beyond a certain audit period. Saying you want to reapply might create a scenario where they retain it. But the filing requirements for all those applications year after year would be daunting.</p>
<p>In any event, new recs are needed. </p>
<p>Momb2k - no harm no foul. If that’s what they told you, I believe it. I do like that their waitlist update letters are very life affirming.</p>
<p>O.k. so one question asked why apply if you don’t want to go. I never indicated S did not want to go to school. How many people only apply to one school? Few if any from what I can tell. S applied to five other schools, and was waitlisted at all accept for the one that admitted him. </p>
<p>He got into a school he wants to go to, just not his first choice, but did not achieve his ultimate goal. He fully understands the mentality of “go where you are wanted”. He will be highly successful no matter where he finishes his high school education. He (and I for some part) don’t understand what else he could have done to make him a more attractive candidate. </p>
<p>Many would consider A/E to be the best of the best, son did not consider himself any better or worse than anyone else, he expected he would be evaluated on his own merits. </p>
<p>Did the Andover connection hinder his other applications to PEA/SPS/DA? He is an excellent interviewer, writer etc. The only thing he has not done is save puppies and babies from burning buildings (lol). </p>
<p>Another asked about making his own path not just following bro. Part of the desire is also grounded in wanting to have a long term connection to older bro and have a common experience that ties/connects them with a reference point that they both share. </p>
<p>So he’s not taking a spot from someone who really wants to go to his new school, he just did not get what he felt he was capable of.</p>
<p>I sense we’re about to launch into another lengthy discussion of fit…</p>
<p>While my son is going to the school that he liked best, it’s not the one that we (his parents) thought he was the best match for. At another school he had a strong hook and seemed like a “perfect” match on paper, yet he was waitlisted. </p>
<p>Point is, who knows…it’s incredibly competitive and no one really knows what it is that tips the balance one way or another. Given how difficult it is to get into any of these schools, I’m just increasingly thankful my son got into one of them. You couldn’t pay me enough money to try to choose between all of those incredibly bright, motivated, talented kids.</p>
<p>I admit though, that I’m a firm believer in starting down the corridor and going through the door that opens–that what is is what’s meant to be. Another equally valid perspective might be that if a door is locked when you first try it, you’re meant to search harder for the key.</p>
<p>Timmy, the fact that your son is as qualified as he can be and has done everything he could is actually something I’d be worried about if he decides to re-apply to Andover next year. What could he do to make himself a significantly stronger applicant than he is now? It doesn’t hurt to try because each year the school community may have different needs, but you need to determine whether the risk of hurting his standing in the school he is attending is worth taking. I think the first thing you should consider doing is talk to Andover admissions and find out the “real” reason of the WL decision if possible. If they encourage you to re-apply, then explain your situation and ask them whether the 8th grade recs can be re-used and an unofficial transcript of 9th can be used for a preliminary decision. It is a long shot but is worth trying if that’s what he really wants. Meanwhile, I agree with some other posters - give the new school a chance. He may like it.</p>
<p>If your son attends a pre-prep, I’d urge you to ask the placement officers enquire about the reasons for his wait listing. </p>
<p>Gaining a spot in the 9th grade class at a competitive boarding school is an accomplishment, and your son should feel proud of himself. I realize the wait lists may be a shock to his system, and Andover is his dream school. Are you comfortable with giving up a spot at a good boarding school, with generous financial aid, for a long shot? Are you both comfortable with his default options, should he give up the current opportunity? Nothing guarantees success in the admissions race.</p>
<p>I was in similar situation - waitlisted at my 1st choice but got in another top school with FA. The more I learn about this school, the more I believe that it’s even better than my previous 1st choice. Also consider this: schools only accept you when they believe you’re a good match. Maybe he’ll thrive better in the school that accepted him, who knows. </p>
<p>Andover claims to be need-blind, so I don’t think you should blame their decision on FA. IMO, the fact that he has a sibling graduated from there doesn’t have negative effect on his application.</p>
<p>I’d recommend strongly discouraging your son from applying to Andover again from a rival school.</p>
<p>First off, he will be a much weaker candidate next year. Andover has so many great applicants, why would they give one of their spots to a student who is already enrolled at a top rival boarding school, doing well academically and socially, and enjoying a wonderful financial aid package? For one, he isn’t as compelling as a student from another region, a public school, or whatever, who doesn’t have this chance. Second, it wouldn’t be professional of them to poach from a rival school. I haven’t seen everything, but this is one thing that would really surprise me—if Andover took him from another school, I would be shocked.</p>
<p>Another reason I think this is a bad idea is that it will effect your son’s experience at his new school. He will walk in there with the plan to leave. Or the dream to leave. Second, he will have to notify his teachers and counselors that he is applying out, and the whole school will know about it. It would set things off to a bad start, and then if he gets a denial again, he will feel even worse about it, and now people at school will know.</p>
<p>I think he would be better off going to his Grottlsex school with the plan to excel there and stay. Or do another year in public school and apply again from there. But going to a Groton or St Paul’s on a huge scholarship and applying out to Andover is not going to go over well.</p>
<p>Timmy - have to confess to being a little turned off by your posts. It sounds like you and your son have a hard time swallowing the idea that the “best of the best” Andover did not accept your son and that you now have to settle for a lesser school. You claim that’s not the case, but it still sounds that way to me. Further, your son was waitlisted by four schools, clearly a consensus view different than your own. Then, you have a kickbutt admission with FA from a great school that DOES want him…and there’s already complaining. What’s with that! </p>
<p>If it were my son, I’d be saying: “look, sorry you didn’t make Andover, but you were admitted to Middlesex with a load of dollars and that’s totally awesome. You need to give your all to the school that wanted you and not give the others a second thought.”</p>
<p>My God - this is a basic tenet of growing up. Dust yourself off and move forward. No one is entitled to be admitted to any great boarding school. To me, that’s the subtext that comes through in your posts.</p>
<p>If his goal had been to go to Andover and only Andover, then that would have been the only school he applied to. He didn’t. Instead, he applied to more schools with what appears to be the goal of getting into a great boarding school with significant fa. It looks to me like this goal was met. You should remind him of it.</p>
<p>I think it would be best to attend the school that loves him. While your son sounds highly qualified, it is hard to understand that most applicants are qualified. Competitive schools can pick and choose based on the needs of the school and other criteria that are out of your control. It is very competitive for applicants, and probably more competitive than when his brother applied. </p>
<p>With college looming in 4 years, it would good for him to get used to the idea of rejections/waitlists. Even the most talented are faced with this, and students who focus on one college are often disappointed.</p>
<p>He still has months to celebrate his acceptance with significant fa, and to learn to love the school that loves him. If he places in the top 25% of accepted students at that school, then he should have opportunities to showcase his talents and standout. Andover and Exeter are not necessarily the best of the best for every talented applicant.</p>
<p>I think the biggest factor here will be how Andover views the immediate move to transfer before the child has really made an attempt to adjust and fit into to his current environment.</p>
<p>If I were doing the interview it wouldn’t be viewed as favorable (even if the student means it to be flattering). It speaks volumes about commitment. But my approach is not everyone’s approach.</p>
<p>I do worry that the competitive nature may be a detriment to future success and prevents the student from seeing that the real “goal” is the one the presented itself.</p>
<p>And I do think that accepting financial aid from a limited pool available to students with the intent of immediately applying to another school is in poor taste. At most schools up to 70% do not get FA and many qualified students are rejected because of FA needs. </p>
<p>I suggest take it and run with it, or decline it and try again the next year. This is one of many lessons that will come his way and sometimes an overly competitive nature is, in fact, not a flattering image to present.</p>
<p>Your son is having a difficult time in handling rejection and perhaps has a misguided sense of entitlement (based upon his brother’s experience). This has nothing to do with Andover’s handling of the situation and Andover has nothing to do with you helping your son.</p>
<p>Part of being qualified to handle Andover is being able to handle rejection from Andover. Andover recognizes that not all of their students are going to be accepted to HYPSM and need to be able to roll with whatever life throws at them. If I had to take a guess at what was wrong with his background is that he was too perfect - always a success. Perhaps he never saved babies from burning buildings, but his life experience doesn’t show that he failed at the burning building experience and grown from it either. </p>
<p>Strangely enough, this is a big red flag. The Andover experience (as well as other highly competitive prep schools) is all about pushing the student to the point where they do experience a degree of failure where they will have to pick themselves up again. The ability to recover from failure and push forward is a requirement to be successful at these schools.</p>
<p>The fact that your son does not accept failure (non-admission at Andover) indicates that he has not developed the skill necessary to deal with failure in an important endeavor.</p>
<p>Yes, his brother is clouding his thinking here, but that too is important in being a success at Andover (or any other highly competitive school). He is not his brother nor should he be thinking of himself in those terms. His brother having a great experience there is just that - proof that Andover is a desireable experience, not a gotta compete with item on a checklist to deal with personal insecurity (which is a result of not having tried and failed on their own path).</p>
<p>So in many ways, Andover has done your son a favor in giving him the failure in mission he has lacked. So far he is not moving forward to prove that Andover did not have the right read on him. And the longer he keeps this in his mind, the more burden he carries risking more failure going forward with the alternative school.</p>
<p>Time for him to become something other than the “perfect” second verse to his brother and take his own risks with his life, some of which will come up short.</p>
<p>Time for you to help separate him from Andover and his brother to find his own way. Do not entertain the notion that you will even sign transfer papers.</p>
)before moving in any particular direction. </p>