I wasnt really popular back in high school so I looked at university as a positive opportunity to improve it. The school I go to is mostly full of commuters however it has a fine social life since it is right in the middle of the city’s downtown. I attended the school’s frosh week and met several people, got numbers from a bunch of them however I was hesitant to text them and they never texted me.
I still ended up meeting up with these people on a consistent basis but as the days go by, I felt that they built a stronger friendship amongst themselves and I pretty much felt more left out. Its not that I am scared of them not replying but its more towards what to talk about.
Now towards the end of first semester, I see several people hanging with their groups and some of those anti-social individuals who feel that they have enough people from high school.
My program is fairly small, consists of 150 people but I didnt bother making friends with any of them during the program orientation. I felt most of them werent the type to go to parties, clubbing, etc. and a bunch were in their late 20s, 30s. Even as the semester progressed, they ended up mingling with one another. I realise next semester, all my four courses are with everyone in the program since I took no liberals and electives werent an option in my program neither limiting my chances to meet new people.
As I mentioned before, Im a person that is outgoing but somehow I manage to drift away and I have been to four parties so far…
There is no magic formula. If you want to be more active socially you have to keep putting yourself out there and trying to connect. This is true no matter what stage in life. If you keep to yourself and don’t reach out or move toward others you will appear closed and others won’t approach you. You can’t change the behavior of others, but you can change your own. Keep reachin out, keep interacting, texting, inviting, etc.
“I felt most of them weren’t the type to go to parties, clubbing, etc. and a bunch were in their late 20s, 30s.”
You can’t just assume that about them…
There are other means of socialization? Parties, clubbing, etc… don’t exactly allow for stronger relationships anyway… Who cares if they’re in their late 20s and 30s? Befriend them regardless of age or whatever. I don’t have many friends either but I’m willing to talk to anyone and I’ve gotten to really know a 25 year old although I’m only 18 years old haha. The friendship grows on a daily basis and I’m glad to have this person in my life.
I can see that much of this is on you. Once you’re more willing, you’ll be able to make friends…
I have found that pre-judging people and not trying to make friends with them ends up not being a good strategy for making friends.
We hosted an exchange student and she thought at first everyone just wanted to be her friend because she was the new thing…and by Xmas she didn’t really have any friends…instead of doing stuff with many people and then finding out who you click with.