I am very curious where everyone ends up, but most girls my D went to school with, stayed in their own country. Most from one of her activities went to the USA. One who went to an elite LAC wondered if my D was happy going where she ended up, like he wouldn’t have been, but she was quite happy, lol.
The others were going to Stanford, Columbia….but she didn’t apply to those, so she didn’t care.
I noticed on Cape Cod, at least in one town, that families put up big signs outside their houses about where their kids were going. Because I’m nosy, I mean curious, I appreciated them telling me, but I don’t live there!
My D17 would have been super offended if I didn’t post her college decision on Facebook with one of her senior pictures. We also posted dorm decor. None of my boys are on social media, but they’re happy to have me post the basics to keep up with family.
I love to hear where kids are headed and what their next steps are, but I don’t think posting acceptances is necessary. I definitely have shared my kids’ accomplishments along the way and hopefully it hasn’t been too much, but I know my family and friends like to see pics and hear good news. For college stuff, I only posted once the decisions had been made.
I do admit that on a very good mail day a few years ago, I took a picture of the three big acceptance envelopes that arrived that day for my kid: Brown, Vanderbilt and Emory. I only sent the pic to my sister though.
There seems to be a huge variation in cultural norms, even between groups that are superficially similar. My kid goes to a school that has 2 campuses, just 9 miles apart, but with very different norms. The parents of kids attending one campus post lots of pictures of bed decorating parties, commitment day parties, move-in-day dorm decorations, surprise on-campus birthday deliveries of balloons, and graduation day events (where all the girls stand on 1 foot.) The other campus has none of that --almost no pictures of kids, no school sweatshirts, no school spirit. It is sort of like the differences surrounding gender reveal parties. In some social circles they are seen as a fun reason to celebrate and post, in other circles the thought is horrifying.
I have always been in somewhat a weird position when it comes to FB. My wife is not on FB. I have been since like '09 or '08. I also have family I rarely see all over the country. My parents were/are 3 states away. My wife’s friends eventually found me and befriended me as well as some of her family.
In the beginning I didn’t have much to say or post. I used to read blogs a lot and this one blogger would post a pic of her son every day. My D23 was like 4 and I started posting a pic of her every day. It was the Daily XXXX. They were mostly random pics and she didn’t know I was even taking a pic. Some were interesting some not so much. I of course got big moments like Kindergarten Grad etc. My streak lasted for a little over 4.5 years. My family and friends got used to seeing what she was up to each day. D23 knew about the pics eventually. We discussed continuing on at different times. We made a decision to stop. A lot people were sad when we stopped. I will say one of the best parts of my days are looking at my FB memories and seeing what she was doing and seeing the old pics when she was little.
I had some friends asked my about my other daughter, D19. I would post stuff about her when she played her sports and other major things. I was the sport parent so D19 got a lot of my time and was older so I didn’t post about her as much.
In HS and College I really only post about major accomplishments for both. For example, D19 was recently published on a research article. I posted about that. I didn’t post every acceptance for D19 or all the merit$$ she got. Mainly I waited until the Spring and posted when she made her decision. I will do the same for D23.
Did not broadcast kids’ acceptances on SM. Just answered emails/texts from friends who were curious. Did post pics of kids and family when we visited them at school during the years and graduation.
Don’t have problem with friends who share more about their kids’ accomplishments. If it gets too much, I just skim it. Some stuff can be very impressive and I am happy to share in their pride/joy.
Wow! There is huge variation in this. The Cape Cod town with large signs indicating where their student is going is one that I have NEVER seen anywhere.
I remember there was an interesting thread on YouTube admission opening videos. I confess to watching a few, but I don’t think my “little ones” would ever consider doing that. We have one applying this year, so it’s entirely her choice.
I’m in the camp of “I know it when I see it” when it comes to posts that verge on gloating versus posts that are just happy. (And oh…have I rolled my eyes at the gloats.)
On the parent’s forum here (where I spend 99% of the time) I love seeing the virtual high fives and congratulations as we “know” each other and the various challenges we’ve all gone through as parents, and with with our kids during this college process. But we’re all anonymous, and we’re all here to talk about colleges - that’s different than real life. We have a social agreement here that this is what we do, and we celebrate the acceptances with each other and empathize with the hard times.
I also find the wrap up style lists at the end of the year here to be helpful; the ones that record all the applications, and the accepted, rejected, deferred, wait listed results…as well as breakdowns in aid. This is all instructive for this self selecting audience.
I would roll my eyes though if a parent at our school posted a list on social media with every school that their kid was accepted to and their scholarship amounts for each school. Here we’re anonymous, on a college forum for parents - right time, right place.
In real life I adjust what and how I talk about the college application process according to who I’m talking to; I’m sensitive to kids who struggle with their grades, or those who are amazing kids but can’t crack the SAT. I don’t boast of my kids score to them - sheesh. Similarly, it would be in poor taste to me to go on about how we’re chasing merit aid with a family whose kid has a 2.5 GPA. “Read the room,” right?
And that’s what I try to teach my kid as well, in all situations: read the room.
In any event - I appreciate this parent’s forum deeply, it’s been a lifeline over this past year. Thanks, all.
I only posted after my D made a decision. I like seeing those so I know where my friend’s kids are going.
MAYBE I would have handled it differently 10 -15 years ago. I was a lot more active on Facebook as were my friends. Now I feel like most the people I know just post things occasionally. I find myself rolling my eyes a little at my friends who go a little overboard with the bragging. I think there is a difference between notify/celebrating a major decision and bragging.
The son of a friend of mine graduated HS this past May. He opted to enlist in the Army. His mom posted about it a lot on Facebook. All of us cheered him on. She’s posted a couple of photos of him since then in his Army uniform. I really enjoyed seeing it. It was like a breath of fresh air and it was really nice to see so many people celebrate her kid’s success. Success comes in many forms.
I have 2 very different kids. One I Tiger Mommed, and she had everything I asked of her. She went to the school she had first choice although it wasn’t the “best” school she got accepted at, but since it was her top choice, happiness. Graduated top honors, great career path.
Second child, does not respond to tiger mom. Never a top performer in school, but with good test scores. Put effort into athletics, and is really good at elite level, but not a college sport and no interest in doing it in college. Child has no favorite school, will choose from where he gets accepted and will end up just has happy as child 1, but with less anxiety
My friend did the same thing with her Air Force-bound son. He’s a great student but wanted to travel and work on airplanes. He could have pursued the academy route, but he wanted to get started right away and didn’t care about the officer status. It was a smart decision to go the route he did because now he’ll have government money to use to go to college in the future, which he fully intends to do.
I’ve never seen anyone post every acceptance, but I wouldn’t have an issue if they did so long as the tone of the post was right. I agree with the coach. I have several friends with elite level athletes in high school and college (some will be pros one day) who post regularly about their kids’ success. I celebrate with them. Why would I not celebrate with those who post about their students’ academic success? We do elevate athletics in this country over academics and that’s how Decision Day even began.
Totally agreed! We elevate and celebrate athletics way more than academics in this country. We need to cheer hard working academically inclined students too.
I love seeing acceptances each year.
It all comes down to the tone. As others have said, hard to define celebrating vs gloating but you know it when you see it.
I have no issue posting here – dates of acceptances, stats, and merit offers provide valuable insight. Even if it’s someone else’s brag, I’ve found those posts hugely valuable in guiding my three kids (last one is a senior this year) to school options that will be a good fit.
Only post to FB or other social media will be the final decision, and no mention of scholarship.
Good for him! My dad joined the Air Force right after high school rather than get drafted. He wasn’t a stand out student at the time, but he was motivated to not go into the army.
He used the GI money to go to University when he got out, and chalks up the work ethic he received in the Air Force, as well as the additional maturity he had at that point (as compared to the 18 year old freshmen) to go on to graduate in 3 years. Ended up the CEO of a large international region of global company.