A public service announcement as this process gets underway. My two cents (speaking as someone who’s been through this more than once): leave it until the spring, and, if you must, try to keep it low-key, brief and confined to informing people of the school you’ve (or your kid has) chosen to attend, rather than all the ones you/they got into. A play-by-play of the acceptances, whether you’re actually going to enroll or not, is unnecessary, in my opinion can make you look like an insensitive braggart and is probably going to hurt the feelings of some of your friends and classmates who haven’t had the same success, whether or not you think that’s reasonable. The college process is hard enough - why make it harder on others?
“Look at the fabulous vacation I’m having in Tuscany!” “So proud of Mackenzie, two goals today and her team won the soccer tournament!” Facebook is all about bragging. Why would it be any different when it comes to college acceptances.
Ha, my FB page is all about politics and no bragging about our head of state there. . .
Agree with OP. No play by play on my social media but a sweet post and pic once she made her decision last year.
I will admit texting my closest few friends and family when my D got her acceptances and merit offers in a more play-by-play way. I also sent a summary email to her closest teachers (and recommenders) after all the decisions came in and let them know where she’d gotten in, WL, $$ offers, etc. I knew were interested but didn’t want to ask her directly out of concern that’d make stakes/stress even higher. And since they are helping guide students and manage expectations I think it’s good for them to know the landscape and how chips are falling…
Play by play bragging is one thing that CC is excellent for and I certainly did that last year! :0
My d19 already let me know about a year ago (when we started seeing 2018 acceptances be announced) that when the time came, I am only allowed to FB announce where she ends up. Zero other posts allowed. She agrees that it’s bragging and potentially making other people feel bad.
Totally agree. My DD also forbid any FB posts until she made a decision. Then I posted her in her swag ; )
That said, I definitely shared with family and some close friends the blow by blow, including the rejection and wait list. Partially it’s also a learning opportunity for people with younger children. I’m still blown away by how many people think that high stats kids will be accepted everywhere.
We only posted where he is going, didn’t mention his fancy college acceptances. Many in our circle applied that year and didn’t see such favorable outcomes so we were cautious of other people’s emotions. We didn’t hide it from close friends and family but didn’t announce it to the world.
He himself is a humble kid, never shows off his achievements. I think too humble for his own good in this perception/self promotion driven world but he doesn’t see it that way.
You open your kid up to (1) why did you pick X if you got into Y? (Or pressure to attend Y!) and (2) Why did you get into Z when I (or some other member of the class) didn’t? One of my kids got a lot of #2 — no one had posted on social media, but she told a friend who told a friend… it got ugly.
One of our friends handled this beautifully. Their child was being athletically recruited by some very big name schools. They were flown in, catered to and courted relentlessly for years. You would never know if from their social media accounts. Their child remains one of the most humble and gracious people you would ever meet and aside from the signing day last week that several athletes participated in, they didn’t broadcast it. Only a close group of people know the extent of the schools that they met with.
Interesting to read this today. Just last week a mom of a senior in my son’s school posted a couple acceptances for her daughter. The 2 acceptances were for low tier, high acceptance rates schools. A couple people congratulated her while a couple others made statements like “Is that where she really wants to go?”
Amen! One person’s safety is another person’s dream school and it only makes for hard feelings and annoyance when you post each acceptance publicly. Just post when they have decided and everyone you know can answer with a hearty one-time “Congratulations!”.
Words have a way of spreading like a wild fire when it comes to where each high school kid is headed, so just allow the grapevine to work its way through. You don’t come off as a braggart and you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. The first time I posted on FB by way of photos that I took on the campus was when he committed to that school.
I would have been so annoyed if my mother posted years ago. Tell personal friends in person if the topic comes up. FBers probably has lots of college bound kids and these are seldom personal friends. We all have computer acquaintances that we tell some things and not others. However you communicate, there is limited interest in your child’s college plans other than immediate friends and family.
People will be bragging about it, no matter what! Isn’t that what FB is for? Lol
I would really hope the media will stop writing about kids who get accepted to all 8 ivy schools though!
There was a long thread about this last year. Some people thought it was appropriate to keep their Facebook friends apprised of all of their kid’s acceptances and scholarships along the way. Some thought it was never appropriate to post about their child’s acceptances. The majority thought a FB post was all right but should be left until the student has made their final decision.
I’m in this last group. Posting about acceptances your student is going to reject seems a bit insensitive to the kids for whom those same schools are dream schools. I don’t post on Facebook, so I’ll leave it to the grapevine to spread the word on where my kid going but I don’t see anything wrong with a simple “Congratulations Mykid, College X class of 2023!”
Many kids around here don’t do a formal announcement but they tell their close friends and if anyone wants to know their plans it’s pretty easy to look at their social media and see what sweatshirt they’re wearing, groups they’ve joined or college accounts they’re following.