<p>My friend graduated from hs two yrs ago. Then, he didn't apply to any colleges b/c he said he didn't know why he wanted to do exactly so why waste the money. He ended up going to community college and majoring in art for a whole semester. He hated the classes and the school, though he ended up taking gen. eds. the second semester. This summer he applied to a local four yr college, but is seriously considering not going. His reasoning...i don't know what I want to do, so why waste the money. Instead, he is going to get a job. Of course, in hs he took college prep courses, no vocational training of any sort, so he is only qualified for min. wage jobs....which he has had a few of them and hated them all. After next yr, all his friends will be gone....they will be in college. We live in a small town, so going out and meeting new people in the town isn't an option. I've tried to convince him to give this new school a chance...actually make new friends (didn't make one friend at c.c.), live outside our little town, and take gen. ed. courses to figure out what to major in. It seems to go in one ear and out the other. Anyone had a situation similiar to this....did anything bring them to the light? thanks in advance</p>
<p>I have a friend similar to that, except that his HS time wasn't in AP classes or anything. He got a job working for a car dealership for a few years, then he took gen. ed classes part time a the local community college for a couple years while still working, but wouldn't transfer to another school until he knew what he wanted to do (and something about his girlfriend, but that's another story). Now he's 22, and finally decided that he wants to major in criminal justice, did some research, and plans on applying as a transfer for fall of 2006 to several state schools. Nothing I did could convince him of anything until he decided himself. I'm glad he finally figured it out.</p>
<p>collegechica - My step-grandS didn't apply to any colleges right after hs either. Not totally sure why - some combination of what you said (not sure what he wanted to do) along with no idea of how to go about applying, etc. He didn't go to community college; instead he worked minimum wage job.</p>
<p>For him - that was all it took. Day in and day out, minimum wage job, not part time or "on the side" while attending school. Living with that gave him a clear idea that he was not really going anywhere and he wanted more than that.</p>
<p>Your friend may find something he wants to pursue that doesn't require college (not likely, but possible). Or, like my step-gS, he may realize that he is closing off too many options if he doesn't go to college.
He just may need the "time off" to decide what he wants to do.</p>
<p>Of course, one main idea of going to a college is to try different things, find out what one likes and doesn't like, and eventually FIGURE OUT what one wants to do. That is one worthwhile reason to spend the money. What does/would he say to that?</p>
<p>How is his frame of mind generally? It troubles me that you say he didn't even make a single friend at c.c. Could he be suffering from depression or some sort of emotional problem? If so, another idea might be to encourage him to talk to a physician and/or an appropriate trusted adult to consider whether some form of counseling would be in order.</p>
<p>To an extent, your friend is actually pretty smart. Working for several years while "figuring out", socking away money, and then waiting until motivation truly strikes is a great way for many people to excel. My bro started state U right after his senior year and lived at home (at the insistence of our parents) and flunked out in the first quarter. He didn't want to be there, didn't know what he wanted to do, couldn't focus, etc.) He enlisted in the Army where he played in the band for 6 years, taking the occasional community college class along the way. THEN he went back to 4 yr residential college where he was able to transfer a few credits, focus on what he then KNEW he wanted to do, and graduated magna cum laude. Now has a masters in his field and heads his division at his company. It was the best course of action for him, and may be for your friend. Trust your friend and provide support, but don't assume that you know what is best for him.</p>
<p>As a teacher, I see this a lot. Our school prides itself on the numbers that get into college, but I would love to see the numbers for those who actually finish - way lower! Some people just mature later, find their motivation later, realize their life's ambitions later, and forcing them to do something they are not ready for, isn't the way to go! I will bet if he goes to college now, he will just flunk out or drop out. Be supportive, but let him find his way. My friend's son floundered and now that he is 27, is a junior in college, and knows exactly what he wants. Way to go for him!!!!! Your friend is just a late bloomer. So be it.</p>