<p>My parents don't pressure me. Actually, they're quite worried if I push myself beyond reasonable boundaries or if I'm staying up late with empty coffee cups. But, some of my Asian friends, yes! they have the very strict, studious families you describe. For instance, </p>
<p>Parent: Julie, what were your grades?
Kid: I got... 5 A's and 1 B.
Parent: WHAT?! #$#(**$#!!!!! JUST DON'T DO IT AGAIN.
Kid: =( I WON'T! </p>
<p>True story. </p>
<p>:confused:</p>
<p>well what can i say. I'm just glad that i don't those kind of parents. However my mom's nagging has rapidly increased. </p>
<p>Typical conversation
Mom: Did u do ur project?
Me: No, i'll do it the day before it's due. I can pull it off.
Mom: No start right now. How many times do I have to tell u?
Me: Ok</p>
<p>then after some time</p>
<p>Mom: Did you do ur project?
Me:No I'm going to do it!
Mom: Stop saying u'r going to do it when u don't do it.
Me: Ok.........(tempted to say I won't but i know the consequences)</p>
<p>hey guys, do colleges count PE grades in the GPA, because my parents are so mad about my PE grade (its a B-) even though all my other grades are A/A+.</p>
<p>It might count into your overall GPA (depending on your school), but I'm pretty sure that the colleges usually recalculate your GPA anyway, and they focus on the core classes.</p>
<p>My school counts it in UW but not in W because there's no honors...</p>
<p>So my dad thinks I spent my entire summer studying for the SAT and doing summer work and just doing work like crazy. I've actually been up here on CC or talking to friends and listening to music and watching movies. When they're out I usually go out without them knowing because they probably wouldn't let me. It's funny because I recently realized he didn't know what I was doing.</p>
<p>Dad: You need to relax, it's summer vacation, you need a braek.
Me: This IS my break! This is what I want to do! This is my vacation!
Dad: ...</p>
<p>And for school, I totally know my parents now, so if I get a bad grade I tell them how I learned from the experience and why it's not gonna happen again and stuff. I tell them I know exactly where I went wrong, and it's only going to help me in the future. Hehe.</p>
<p>Haha. My mom is the complete opposite of the "Typical Asian Parent" or TAP. </p>
<p>She thinks I'm obsessive because I want to get my applications in early. Like wow.</p>
<p>But my aunt...oh gawd...she's threatening my cousin just so he'll apply to an ivy league school.</p>
<p>And so I shall leave everyone with Asian parents with this great snippet from Carlos Mencia:</p>
<p>You wanna know why Asians do so well? Just look at the parents. An white couple will say:</p>
<p><em>really huge proper speech</em>
"This is the first day of school, Jimmy. You do YOUR VERY BEST, okay?"
<em>pushes son off to school</em></p>
<p>But an Asian parent would NEVER do that! It would go something like this:</p>
<p><em>broken English/bad pronunciation</em> (my family talks like this, so no offense lol)
"This is first dei of scoo, the mohst impahtant dei of yo life. You get won B, I KILL YOU!"
<em>kicks son out of door</em></p>
<p>Ah, yes. The fresh smell of pressure in the morning :).</p>
<p>rofl my waffles
<em>sniff</em>
i feel for you
we asians must not deny that this is also sad</p>
<p>my mom said the same exact words to me</p>
<p>"This is first dei of scoo, the mohst impahtant dei of yo life. You get won B, I KILL YOU!"
<em>kicks son out of door</em></p>
<p>lolololol.
I'm so glad my parents aren't hardcore like that. :) Even grades in the 80's are good to them... but I usually do better anyway. :) I sometimes wish I could get more motivation though.. haha they don't even know I'm taking the SATs for the first time this Saturday! Woo! Ahh! Whee~!</p>
<p>haha although i'm asian, my parents rock :) I love them! I used to always hate them and stuff, but now I love them because they're pretty lenient compared to other asian parents I know. They basically know I work very hard - and they have very busy lives so its not like they always babysit me and tell me to do my homework and stuff, but they trust me to do well. They always encourage me to do well and praise me too - they never put me down for any of my faults and I've gotten one B+ in my entire life on my report card - lowest score - and they didn't say anything. They're fine with everything as long as I "try my best in the process" and "learn from my mistakes". I know it sounds really cliche - but trying hard is what they really care about! Of course I can't fail or anything, but they've never really shouted at me for school related things. They do shout at me for not taking enough leadership positions and being shy and quiet heh. And they DO criticize this one girl who used to be my best friend and said she was a bad influence - and that was mean. But overall, they're nice parents.</p>
<p>They always let me do what I want too - most of the time. They let me hang out with friends whenever I want, drive me around, etc. Obviously they don't want me always going to parties, staying out all night, getting drunk, and smoking cigarettes. Obviously they're strict about that. But I have to say they're surprisingly lenient for asian parents and they're also incredibly helpful - through the application process they've helped me a lot by filling out the financial aid forms, reading over my essays, etc. They rock!</p>
<p>Haha I sound sooooooo optimistic/lovey dovey but I just wanted to say that :P</p>
<p>Oh and also, my high school is full of really intelligent asian people (mostly chinese people) and they're so smart so there's this competition, and I feel like beating their dumb preppy butts. So I push myself to do better, so i know I'm better than those azn preps. hahaha.</p>
<p>I'm Asian. I've got conservative Muslim parents and I'm pretty liberal. My God, the conflict there! </p>
<p>My parents are somewhat the typical Asian Parents (TAP) in that they push me and my sisters hard, get a little disappointed when we get below an A/A-. However, unlike the somewhat Oriental parents, they don't put much pressure on the musical abilities. Perhaps it's just the culture they were raised in (Malaysian) where having artistic ability is like "Weh???" and having science abilities is the upmost.</p>
<p>They don't let me or my sisters out and it doesn't matter that my sister's 23 (she has a job but we're living overseas) or that I'm 19 (missed a few years cause I changed schools so much); as long as we live under their roof, we follow their rules. Eighteen is no magic number here. It's "You're our responsibilities until you get married". That's a direct quote, too.</p>
<p>They're atypical, though, in that they understand (kinda) about the international schools we've been attending and that you NEED to have sports or a performing arts afterschool activity/credit in order to graduate (with IB Diploma).</p>
<p>My parents don't know about the SAT's or the TOEFL so they just ask what it's out of, then smile and say "good". </p>
<p>What's tough, though, is being an Asian kid in an international school in Europe or some non-Asian country. You get so influenced by others and yet your parents are trying to bound you to their cultures or rules. It's tough, too, being a diplomat's kid cause then you gotta "be a representative of your country" even though it is your FATHER'S job and CHOICE and you were born into following him around everywhere. </p>
<p>What if you're not absolutely religious and so don't pray five times a day?
What if you don't excel in computer science or math???
What if you don't want to be a damn doctor or you're not in the running for valedictorian or salutorian???
What if you're the third daughter and the other two daugters were salutorian/international scholarship acceptee/track star/all-star debaters and you're just on the junior varsity basketball???</p>
<p>ARGHH!!!!</p>
<p>The attitude to succeed at all costs is a good attitude. However, the attitude must come from within yourself, and you must understand that failures do happen. Two simple rules:
1. Try your hardest to succeed.
2. When you fail, look to #1.</p>
<p>There's a big difference between "trying hard," and putting in the full effort. Success isn't a definite tangible thing, but hard work is an important factor.</p>
<p>Pretty much, what I'm trying to say is that I believe the "success or death" attitude is a great attitude, but only if the feeling comes from within: the realization and appreciation for education and maximizing the opportunities you have.</p>
<p>Because in the end, you'll ask yourself, what's better, to try 100% and have a huge success, or try 90% and tell yourself, I could have done a little better, but I got lazy.</p>
<p>That's a question only one can answer for themself.</p>
<p>i go to a school where a lot of the students' parents went to really elite colleges, so they push their children to do well. it's really sad. they send them to tutors and sat preps, which costs thousands of dollars. and a friend of mine, i think, might be attending harvard when she graduates, although she can't read 'companionship,' but her father has the money; she has a frickin elevator in her mansion. </p>
<p>my parents aren't so hard on me about my grades; they just want me to go to college. but my aunt is insane ( she's the typical pushy asian parent that wants her kids to go to the ivy league). she was driving me to school and our entire conversation was on academics and on school. she told me that i should go to chinese school because i can "get better jobs" and she asked me what i would like to major in and i say English. And she was like, "Oh...you like English?" lol</p>
<p>i totally understand, i have asian parents who think that nothing but pre med pre law pre-career majors will bring food to the table.</p>
<p>
[quote]
But an Asian parent would NEVER do that! It would go something like this:</p>
<p><em>broken English/bad pronunciation</em> (my family talks like this, so no offense lol)
"This is first dei of scoo, the mohst impahtant dei of yo life. You get won B, I KILL YOU!"
<em>kicks son out of door</em>
[/quote]
</p>
<p>If your parents' English is so bad, why don't they just speak to you in their native language?</p>
<p>I'm not trying to be mean or anything but why are like most Asian people so smart. They are all in like A.P. classes, they all take the highest classes, they're in a lot of activities and etc. I just hate it so much. It's like their trying to make like perfect people out of themselves. I just hate it so much. </p>
<p>Like there's this ninth grade kid who's supposed to be taking Earth Science, but he's taking Biology(A 10th Grade Subject), but I know a few other people who took it as a freshman. It just makes me kind of mad.</p>
<p>It's a culture thing. Most asians (including south asian like myself) are pushed by their parents from a young age. They encourage (or in some cases... force, heh) their kids to do well and there are consequences if they don't. Not to say every parent is like that... mine are a bit more lenient than some of the ones I've seen, but they are very disappointed if I get a B.</p>
<p>After a certain point though I started pushing myself instead of them pushing me to do well. That's because I realized I (like lots of others, including many on this site) am capable of a lot, so I started setting high standards for myself.</p>
<p>I'm Indian. I never had too much pressure. I got ahead by self-motivation. I am going to a killer boarding school(public), but I'm at the top, with the other asians taking hard courses. You can tell the people who love what they do from the kids forced to do it, because the kids who love what they do will have fun doing assignments, and do random background research on stuff in the mean time.</p>
<p>ScienceNerd: If you hate it so much, why don't you compete with them, and beat them? Don't want to be mean, but if people don't do something soon, India and China are going to own this country in science and mathematics. The AP curriculem is turning into the High-school curriculem.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I'm not trying to be mean or anything but why are like most Asian people so smart. They are all in like A.P. classes, they all take the highest classes, they're in a lot of activities and etc. I just hate it so much. It's like their trying to make like perfect people out of themselves. I just hate it so much.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>No offense or anything, but it sounds like you are jealous. I honestly don't see anything wrong with striving for perfection. In fact, I'd like to think that perfection is what we all strive for. In addition, there's nothing keeping you from taking Honors/AP classes. We're all on even ground here.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Like there's this ninth grade kid who's supposed to be taking Earth Science, but he's taking Biology(A 10th Grade Subject), but I know a few other people who took it as a freshman. It just makes me kind of mad.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Why does it make you angry that Asians do well? In fact, Biology as a freshman is the norm around here...</p>
<p>Not to brag or anything, but a couple (actually 2) of my friends and I skipped Biology 1 completely and went on to AP Biology, simply because we already knew the material.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I'm not trying to be mean or anything but why are like most Asian people so smart. They are all in like A.P. classes, they all take the highest classes, they're in a lot of activities and etc. I just hate it so much. It's like their trying to make like perfect people out of themselves. I just hate it so much.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>As another poster mentioned, Asian parents tend to push their kids very hard from an early age (particularly the parents that immigrated to Canada/US as adults). In China, when my parents were in school, only the brightest kids could get into university, and therefore get a good job. Admission to university was dependant entirely on one test; it didn't matter whether the student could pay or not. If they didn't do well on the exam, well, too bad for them.</p>
<p>I remember my mom telling me how even in elementary, they would already essentially start prepping for university, because in elementary, they would have to write an entrance exam to get into one the top high schools. In grade 12, they would have to write one exam, and the results of that one exam would determine where they would go to university. </p>
<p>Especially for my dad (he grew up in a poor village), education was the way to a better life. It was because he worked hard, that he was admitted into one of the top universities in China, and eventually offered a post-doctoral position at a Canadian university. </p>
<p>Anyhow, long story short, at least in my experience, Chinese parents tend to instill "hard-working" values in their children, because having a good education allowed the parents to live a better life, and they want the same for their children.</p>