<p>It's not that they prize predicability over originality, but that a lot of them didn't have a choice to begin with. The whole "you can do whatever you want" attitude is very American. For one thing, competition to just get an education in Asia is so tough, you do whatever you can; there's no choosing what you like better. </p>
<p>Perhaps you just need to explain that things work differently here and not all successful people were premed or prelaw.</p>
<p>Those of you with parents that push you to do well -- be glad! My parents never gave me that kind of push and a lot of what I have achieved has been self-motivated. I always tried to get my parents to be more involved but they did not really delve too deeply into anything I was into. Overinvolvement can be bad too, though.</p>
<p>Basically, don't neglect but don't take over.</p>
<p>My family is extremely atypical.</p>
<p>My dad asked me what I wanted to do in college once, and I said I'd run away to Europe and live the life of a Bohemian vagabond.
Dad: "How're you gon' feed yourself?"
Me: "Draw? Paint? What do Bohemian vagabonds do?"
The next day, he picked me up from school. In a bag were charcoal pencils, magic markers, gel pens.
Dad: "Practice."</p>
<p>My dad is so awesome like that. He's so Americanized though, even though he was an emigrant from Vietnam.</p>
<p>No one would ever pick the four of my family and put us together. My younger brother is southern to the core (he has a country accent, loves Republicanism, devout to the military and JROTC and everything attached to it). My dad looks like a prep, loves southern food and country music, trucker hats, and NSYNC. My mom is a jazz and soul queen, shopaholic, acts/looks like she came straight out of New York. Me, I'm pure Californian, though I wish I was English.</p>
<p>I never really understood "Asian pressure." I don't really understand completely American non-pressure either.</p>
<p>My parents never pushed me to do well. They said it was important, but never prodded or pushed. We're a pretty ambitious bunch.</p>
<p>To be honest, I think my parents actually neglect to give any imput into what I WANT to do. They do support my brother and me, however. For example, my life and breath is television productions, journalism, broadcasting, media, et al.</p>
<p>My parents have a very skewed sense of "fairness." They won't let me go to the mall the last weekend, but they let my little shy fourteen-year old brother go to some chick's 18 year old pool party with varsity football players.</p>
<p>They won't let me go visit colleges on my own, but they sent me packing with my friends to party in Ireland on St. Patty's Day.</p>
<p>My mom is pretty capricious, to say the least. Everything that goes is on her whim.</p>
<p>Yeah, I tend to ramble and get long-winded. But, I just had to say, that Asian pressure stuff... it's just SOME Asian parents.</p>
<p>Sometimes, I think I push myself more than my Asian parents do. Last year, when my dad saw me stressing over school and SATs, he told me that I should just take it easy and "let go." He also told me that he'd rather see me happy than go to college. (I've decdied I'm still going to go to college!) The only thing that bothers me is when they talk about their friends' kids who get near-perfect SAT scores.</p>
<p>Yea, I have asian parents, but it's usually my mom that's more stereotypical. But since I'm motivated enough to get striaght A's on my report card and do a whole bunch of stuff, she doesn't go after me that much. And she also has a lot of Asian friends who have children who are going through/already gone through the college process, so now she's getting kind of scared that I'll only get into our local college or something. So she's the one warning me that I probably won't get into all these college, lol.</p>
<p>And someone said that their parents don't approove of their girlfriends or boyfriends, well my mom barley approves of me talking to girls online. And this is untill I graduate from college.</p>
<p>I'm the only child and my parents fret the littlest thing that concerns me...
Dad is one of the most strict and closeminded person I know. Well he is generally a very open minded person when it comes to most things...but when it comes to me-he wouldn't allow any reasons to enter his stubborn built in barrier in his mind. He reads newspapers and watches News every single day and lectures me almost daily on the many incidents that took place in the world and forbid me to do anything that associates with these things. For instance, a recent news has it that several people are damaged in the eyes because bacteria infected their contacts. Dad warned me with the most stern look and said "SEE?!" Meaning...no contacts ever. That's why I'm still wearing glasses. He's so protective of me I find it very suffocating sometimes. But my mom in the other hand is very open. Unlike dad, she nods at most of the things I ask of her.
It's like chained to some kind of gaol when in the presence of dad so I am so so happy that I'm attending a boarding school in MA. But at same time, I know how much he cares for me. But he has to open his barrier a little sometimes. A little is enough.</p>
<p>I once read this funny article that lambasted certain Asian parents for turning their kids into introverted nerds at high school, and expecting them to marry some millionaire beauty queen/king once they graduated from university. </p>
<p>I think some Asian parents just invest so much into their children's academics. They've learned to define their success as parents through their children's academic well-being, they've bought the stereotype that most Asians cannot be anything else than academic nerds, or perhaps a classical musician. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy, as the dearth of Asians in anything other than engineering or medicine will only discourage future Asians from pursuing career fields that they really want to excel in. I mean, we're supposed to be the goddamn model minority and still, we're petrified of doing anything outside our given roles as rather drone-like professionals.</p>
<p>I know sometimes Asian parents can be like that. They just want their kids to have a good future. Most of these Asian parents are immigrants who just came from India, China, Japan, etc. They saw that in their countries if you don't study good then you will have no job and end up poor. They don't want that. </p>
<p>Also some Asian parents really stress to their kids. They try to make perfect kids. They get their kids to have great SAT scores, a 3.5+ gpa, play an instrument, and play a sport. Also they force their kids to join things just because it might be good for college or something etc. But I think they are getting more lenient. </p>
<p>I'm actually kind of ironic. My parents say to just try hard in school and kind of pressure me. But me I really take it on myself to try hard and be good and get into a good college.</p>
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I'm actually kind of ironic. My parents say to just try hard in school and kind of pressure me. But me I really take it on myself to try hard and be good and get into a good college
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<p>hahaha.. same here... My parents dont pressure me at all coz they know i'm gonna try and get good grades and do other stuff on my own accord. I'm glad my parents dont pressure me into doing stuff ( although, my dad wouldnt be happy if I failed a course or two).</p>
<p>I don't think it was my parents, but rather having spent some time in school in china that set me up as hardworking. The work ethic was just instilled in me and I can't really let myself fail.</p>
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I don't think it was my parents, but rather having spent some time in school in china that set me up as hardworking. The work ethic was just instilled in me and I can't really let myself fail.
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<p>I can relate to this to a certain extent. I was in an Indian school until grade 10 and it was so competitive that I just had to get good grades else i'd be really dissapointed with myself. Also failing a single course meant that I would have to repeat my grade ( and waste a year ) which wasnt a very pleasant thought.</p>
<p>To answer the OP, the reason why some asian parents are so pushy is because of what they've been through in their childhood.</p>
<p>China for example... after the cultural revolution (which is when both of my parents were educated), only the top 2% of the population could get into any college, which is a huge contrast to the top 5% in this country trying to get into the Ivies or something.</p>
<p>Also, schools in Japan are the same way...</p>
<p>I can totally relate to where my parents are coming from...I mean, they grew up in communist China, where academic success was basically the only way to succeed in life. </p>
<p>There's a girl I know whose parents forced her to practice piano for 4 hrs daily starting from age 6. In contrast to parents like that, mine aren't so crazy. But they push me very hard...I remember being yelled at for a B as a small child. They were disappointed when I got on the honor roll, and not the principal's honor roll...pfft. (my retort was "would you rather I not be on the honor roll at all?!") They're always telling me to "stop painting and do extra homework!" when they see me doing artsy things. </p>
<p>I'm used to it. I don't listen to them anymore. I'll do my own thing and I know I won't end up a janitor or something because I DO want to succeed. I don't need them screaming at me every time I get an 89%. </p>
<p>By the time my generation grows up and has kids, though, I hope a lot of the Asian parent horror stories will have vanished.</p>
<p>I feel the Asian pressure all the time lmao. It's either good grades or nothing at all. But I don't feel that my mom isn't being rediculous at all.</p>
<p>It doesnt really affect me as I want to go into the Business field... a field which most asian parents including mine support. But they do get incredulous annoying sometimes about nagging about grades, for goodness sakes, shut up already -_-. And they arent even paying for my college, I think they realize that since I am not dependent on them financially, I can pratically ignore their advice :). My mom still nags me though</p>
<p>I guess I'm an anomaly. I'm Asian, but my mother doesn't really care or know what's going on in my life, even academically. She's too busy.</p>
<p>I just do my own stuff, get good grades, be active, whatever. It's all self-motivated; I don't have someone forcing me to do things.</p>
<p>Although sometimes, it'd be nice to have some support for being ambitious...</p>
<p>Asian parents will always be asian parents no matter what. Don't think when you get older your parents gonna stop nagging, cause even when you have children and all, they will still nag you about raising your kids properly and stuff life that. I hate to see asian kids nowadays talk about how pushy asian parents can be, but I think without them, most of you kids right now will be working at McDonalds. Some of you might dispute this claim but that's the truth. Ask the teenagers who work in McDonalds and most of them will say that they parents don't care about them and it shows. So, basically everyone should just back off and be a little good girl/boy...</p>
<p>Up until sophmore year, parents used to yell me (yes I'm Asian) ....or rather, it was my mom who yelled at me for anything below A-. Even when I had a B+ for lets say Trimester 2, but had A for the final year grade in that subject, I'd still get yelled at.
I've worked YEARS in getting her to loosen up a bit. She insisted I aspire to become a doctor. I cannot bear the sight of blood (even my own) and biology is my least favorite subject.</p>
<p>From last year though, she's relented a bit... we've compromised: I can major in Intl Relations but I'm not allowed to major in Political Science. And I have to promise to go into law school. </p>
<p>As for tests, hw, etc.. she doesn't care what I get, doesn't KNOW what projects I do. As long as the report card shows a good grade she's happy. I got a 297 on the computer-based TOEFL and was yelled at for missing the remaining 3 points. Thank god she doesn't understand the SAT scoring system. Imagine her fury if she understood my 1910 score...</p>
<p>Don't know about the stereotype issue.. my dad's Asian and he's totally different from my mom. I suggested double majoring in Journalism or minoring in Music Performance and he was like, "why not major in music?". My mom would have had a heart attack had she heard that..</p>
<p>Jeeesus... I can relate to so many of these stories. My parents wouldn't stop yelling at me when my PSAT hit the 219 and they won't stop nagging me about my 2280. "Why couldn't you get at least a 2300?! Now you won't get into...." They need to chill out sometimes, but I know they love me; the very sad thing is that even though I am sometimes unhappy, I'm 95% sure I'm going to be doing the same things to my children. They just want to see me succeed, and that's why I put up with their yelling.</p>
<p>my parents expect me to be a doctor or a lawyer...but what i really want to do is hit up the studio and make my own mixtape and hopefully jayZ will sign me.</p>