<p>I wrote this essay for my English class recently. Still haven't gotten the grade back for it, but it's not a major concern to me right now. The professor asked me to write about what it means to be a New Yorker. It was deliberately left open. He wanted us to approach it any way we saw fit. He would grade us just on three things: grammar, rhetoric, and logic. The goal was to be able to use some of the literary techniques we have learned in class so far. I've had a couple of people read it. Some loved it, others hated it. I can't please everyone.</p>
<p>Read it and give me some feedback (whether positive or negative).</p>
<p>"You know youre a New Yorker when </p>
<p>Ive lived in New York City my entire life and Ive found that, after getting to know a person, its pretty easy to tell if he or she is from New York City without actually asking the person. You have those New Yorkers (Im referring to those from New York City; the rest of New York State doesnt count) who have been raised or settled in New York City and then you have those who arent from New York City. Those who were raised here or settled here, for the most part, have a fast-paced life. They are always on the go. They know that when someone says the city they are referring to downtown Manhattan. What else could anyone possibly mean? They think anything outside New York City is either upstate or New Jersey. They are passionate about their sports teams. They also know that rooting for two New York teams of the same sport is not an option. On the other hand, out-of-towners are laid back. They bump into people and dont proceed to check for their wallets. They just dont know any better. They walk behind a person opening the door and think the person is rude for not holding it open. They really arent being rude; theyre just rushing to get somewhere. Out-of-towners also think New Yorkers are crazy when they jaywalk through traffic when, in reality, its an art.</p>
<p>There are probably hundreds of dialects spoken in New York City. Most out-of-towners could only say they know one language. In New York City, if you are proficient in the use of one finger to communicate with other people, you automatically know sign-language and, since you probably speak at least one language, most likely English if youre reading this, then you can call yourself bi-lingual. In my case, I can say Im tri-lingual because I know Spanish as well. Out-of-towners cant even say they know what a true cultural melting pot is until theyve gone to Queens, the most ethnically diverse metropolis in the world, and theyve heard about ten different languages being spoken in one block.</p>
<p>Geography and transportation are very unique in New York City. A New Yorker knows that there are at least four different boroughs in New York City. Some may actually remember Staten Island but it doesnt really count. An out-of-towner thinks the city is just downtown Manhattan. A New Yorker knows better. Those same out-of-towners also know how to get on the red double-decker Big Apple tour buses. If youre reading this and youve realized, Hey, how do those people get on those tour buses anyway? then youre a New Yorker. To get to anywhere in New York City the trains and buses are the only means of transportation that make sense for a New Yorker. Out-of-towners just dont know that for two dollars, one can go to just about any part of the city without having to deal with traffic or waste money on gas. A New Yorker spending two dollars on the train knows it is better to sit in a hot empty train car than to stand in a packed air conditioned train car. An out-of-towner wouldnt know any better and would prefer the train car with air conditioning. Then again an out-of-towner doesnt know the difference between uptown, downtown, and cross-town. Thats the New York way of saying north, south, west and east. Its easier this way. Trust me.</p>
<p>To a New Yorker, walking fast is regular walking. My theory is that the fast walking comes down to two things: 1) New Yorkers rush so much to be early wherever they go that it becomes second nature to just walk fast, and 2) sometimes something absurd or obscene is happening nearby and one has to walk right by as fast as possible without attracting attention to oneself. If you are an out-of-towner, New Yorkers will probably just laugh at you for thinking they are speed walking all the time. They arent. Yet as fast as New Yorkers can walk, they get mad when they have to walk more than a block to get to the nearest bodega, hot dog stand, icy stand, or newspaper stand. Out-of-towners are actually surprised that you dont need a car to get to these kinds of places. (They dont even know what a bodega is.) To their amazement, when an out-of-towner is walking in the streets and he approaches a flock of pigeons, the pigeons dont even move and expect him to walk around. They arent possessed. Theyre just used to humans. After all, they are just one of the top three New York inhabitants: rats, cockroaches, and pigeons. Humans probably make the top five. To avoid having to get up and deal with any of these creatures, a New Yorker prefers to have fast-food delivered to his or her apartment when the restaurant is just across the street.</p>
<p>Ive lived in New York City my entire life and Ive experienced all of the things Ive mentioned. Many professors have told me that its basically New York City and then the rest of the world. The life here, even if you come from a big city, is just different from any other place. It cant really be put into words, but Ive met people from all over the world and they all say that the New York City atmosphere is remarkably unique. A lot of that has to do with the cultural diversity that exists here. The variety of customs here have been mixed and integrated with other ingrained customs over time. You can call this the Big Apple (New Yorkers dont know where this name comes from), the city that never sleeps, or the financial capital of the world. It doesnt matter what you call it though because you can never really capture the essence of what New York City is and what makes a New Yorker. In the end, what it all comes down to is that anything you consider normal really isnt so until youve lived in New York City and have seen what normal really is. Only then will you know what it means to be a true New Yorker."</p>