Someone please grade this essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Hi everyone this is my first sat essay ever and i just wanted somen to grade it and give me as much feedback as possible. This is prep for the December SAT. Thanks a lot!</p>

<p>Assignment: Does thinking positively about a problem always result in a positive outcome? Write an essay in which you defend your opinion on this topic. Support your viewpoints with examples and evidence from your personal experience. </p>

<p>Thinking positively about a problem always results in a positive outcome. The more positive thoughts that we have in the face of hardship, the more rewards we will reap in the future.
A key place where thinking positively about a problem is crucial to success is the business world. Many entrepreneurs often start off flat-footed before eventually gaining the fame and success they sought from the beginning. For example, Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of Apple, wasn’t always the rich and business-savvy man that we think of him as. He greatly feared the collapse of his startup company with his colleague Steve Wozniak as a result of his lack of experience as well as his shortcomings in education. Regardless, this initial fear did not stop him from producing the first iMac in Wozniak’s garage in 1999 or from rolling out the first-generation iPod in 2002 at the Keynote Conference in San Francisco. A decade later, Apple products are ubiquitous in society and Jobs’ great intellect, courage, and positive thinking are seen as catalysts for his meteoric rise to prominence. Although he is no longer with us, Steve Jobs is the perfect example of how positive feelings in the times of difficulty can ensure success in the future.</p>

<p>Literary characters also prove that a positive outlook is much more likely to help compared to a pessimistic outlook. One of the minor characters in Charles Dickens’ novel, Great Expectations, Herbert Pocket, is another key example. Born to an erudite and scholarly father and a hopelessly inept mother, Herbert often uses the principles of pragmatism and his cheerful demeanor to provide comic relief throughout the story while also effectively portraying the true roots of wealth and happiness. Herbert, through help from a secret monetary source, manages to start a successful insurance company, while his friend, Pip, once the heir to a large fortune, toils for a solution to his problems in life. By giving Hebert a more prosperous life, Dickens clearly indicates that positive thinking and reason, rather than frenzied and illogical actions, will provide the path forward in times of trials and tribulations. </p>

<p>Another key supporting example comes from the scientific renaissance of the 19th century. Thomas Edison, the greatest inventor of all time, also provides another real-life example of how a positive outlook on problems, can help one attain success and happiness. As he raced against other inventors of his time to design the most efficient light bulb, he and his fellow scientists tried out more than a thousand designs. Instead of feeling melancholy at his myriad of failed trials, he instead cheerfully replied that he found more designs that didn’t work compared to the other people in the scientific community. Needless to say, his tenacity and positive views of his failures allowed him to become one of the most decorated people in the 19th century. </p>

<p>Clearly, an optimistic attitude will lead to a life filled with happiness and positive results, while a pessimistic one will do just the opposite. </p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

2

<p>dude thats like a 12 if you wrote it verbatim on the real test. u dont need any feedback just keep writing like that yolo</p>

3

<p>I agree with the person above. I got a 10 on an essay that lacked much depth and had a poor vocabulary so this in comparison most likely will get you a 12.</p>

4

<p>I hate to be the buzzkill here but here it goes…</p>

<p>You haven’t proven that “positive thinking” was THE thing that helped Steve Jobs to succeed. I can think of dozens of adjectives to describe him: mercurial, brash, sometimes ruthless and petty, etc. etc. (How does “producing the first iMac in Wozniak’s garage in 1999 or from rolling out the first-generation iPod in 2002 at the Keynote Conference in San Francisco” connote positive thinking?) </p>

<p>If I remember the novel correctly, HP functions as a confidant to Pip. If the essay were about friendship, you’d be on to something. You haven’t cited a single example of “positive thinking” here.</p>

<p>The Edison paragraph is more about persistence than positivity. </p>

<p>The task is not just to pick a couple people and describe their personalities. The task is to answer the question.</p>

<p>Let’s take a look at the characteristics of “good” writing:</p>

<p>ORGANIZATION: 4/6 You’re only peripherally on topic, but you’re a decent dancer.</p>

<p>VOCABULARY: 5/6 Word choice is mostly effective though at times repetitive and superficial.</p>

<p>SYNTAX: 5/6 Your facility with language is well above average and certainly college-level but there are word economy issues.</p>

<p>USAGE: 6/6 No noticeable or glaring errors.</p>

<p>I get a high four after calculating all this.</p>

5

<p>The kinds of readers you get obviously affect your score.</p>

<p>A lazy skimmer would give you a five; an active reader goes four on this.</p>

6

<p>From experience and what I’ve been told, writing a full two pages guarantees you a score of at least a 9 (yes, quantity DOES matter over quality sometimes), no matter how crappy your writing is. And using 3 examples instead of 2 guarantees you a score in the double digits (again, regardless of the actual quality of writing). </p>

<p>Readers won’t have the time to pore over the details of your writing because they WILL be skimming.</p>

<p>From what I can tell just by skimming, I think you’re on the right track and deserve a 10 or 11! I would add a stronger/lengthier conclusion though. Reiterate that the types of or even the specific examples you used demonstrated your point.</p>

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<p>@ Lucridforest I don’t think that is true. Though having quantity can help you to score better, it is erroneous to assume that you can get away with a double digit by talking about gibberish for 2 whole pages. In the very first essay I wrote, I did this and I would give that essay a 6/12 - 7/12 highest. </p>

<p>I do however agree with you to a certain extent in the aspect that writing 3 examples is better than writing 2 for those who can write that fast. However, writing 3 examples does not guarantee a double digit at all. In fact, if you provide 2 solid examples, you are likely to do much better than someone who writes 3 mediocre examples.</p>