Something all high school Freshmen--and others--should read

Applying to College
1

<p>I want to write this in a way that is striking but not insulting. I am not perfectly articulate, so I hope you try and understand what I am saying without judging me too harshly. </p>

<p>This is mostly directed at the Freshmen, though it applies to Sophomores, Juniors, and even Seniors.</p>

<p>I took honors classes. I studied for the ACT. I filled my plate with extra-curricular activities. I was careful about teacher recommendations. I researched colleges. I wrote and rewrote essays. I did the whole thing, and I got into an Ivy, so I was, technically, successful.</p>

<p>I am here to tell you that it’s not worth it. </p>

<p>The hours of study, the work, the missed opportunities, were not worth that moment I ripped open that envelop and found I was admitted. I thought that once I was admitted, my world would somehow change and all my problems would disappear. I thought that I would forever have established myself as a success, that all my struggles would have been converted into something tangible. </p>

<p>In my later years of high school, I started to realize that perhaps I had chosen wrongly. Perhaps I should have relaxed in high school and just gone to the state university. But by then, I felt like I had already put in too much to stop. I felt like all my work would be wasted. It was too late to stop, so I might as well rush on towards the finish line.</p>

<p>When I was finally admitted, nothing changed. My life was the same. I realized, moreover, that I was just setting myself for more years of work towards some imperceptible goal. Those years wouldn’t be worth it. But it was too late. I’d already arrived here. I couldn’t waste it all by just going to my state university. I had to keep on running to reach another finish line.</p>

<p>It’s not worth it. Underclassmen out there, freshmen, even middle schoolers who may already be planning your years in New Haven or Providence—please rethink your plans. You’ve heard this all before, I know. You’ve heard that you should just enjoy your classes in high school, go to whatever university turns out to be a match, and ignore prestige. They say college doesn’t really matter, you’ll get a good education wherever you go, and employers don’t really look at where you went to college. People aren’t just saying this to you because it is politically correct. They are saying it because it’s true. They’ve weighed the benefits and the costs. They have the answer, and they are giving it to you. </p>

<p>When I was a freshman, I smiled politely at people who told me to not worry about college and just go through high school without such high aspirations. I figured that they were a different type of people—they didn’t have my abilities, my drive, my need for greatness. They didn’t study like I did, didn’t get my grades, simply didn’t speak my language.</p>

<p>Well, I am speaking to you as someone who does speak your language. I know all this. I’ve done all this. You feel sure that once you get your acceptance letter, the world will right itself, and you’ll continue on a merry path to happiness and success. Please, don’t make that mistake. It’s not worth it. Don’t give up these precious four years to get four more years of hypercompetitive stress. You’re not too far into it.</p>

2

<p>Thank you for this.</p>

3

<p>Well spoken, somethingtosay.</p>

<p>I myself have done the prep school deal and taken the Ivy League college route. There's nothing spectacular, glamorous, or magical about it. There's no huge payoff or pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The best thing I can say about my undergraduate university experience is that the food was really good.</p>

<p>And there's always grad school.</p>

4

<p>Highly disagree with much of this. I did not get into ivies, and many people in my class did. There's something about conformity which leads to jealousy. But I digress.</p>

<p>Acceptance into a top-rate school is not about having problems magically solved, or about a future salary/job. It is first and foremost a recognition of accomplishment. It's a plaque that honors your accomplishments during high school. It's an accolade for your parents, who have spent the last 17 years laboring to support you and to ensure you can live a decent life. If you cannot find joy in receiving such a plaque as a recognition for your hard work - you're looking at admissions in a wrong way.</p>

<p>There are two camps that I think are "wrong". One is to see college admissions as an ends rather than a means for something greater. With that, I concur with the OP. The other camp, however, is to renounce the admissions process, make some excuses about why HS'ers should not care about what college they go to. No offense but this is complete bull. Students should always strive to get into the best school possible. The process of the transformation and development success-oriented life attitudes is essential. Often success involves painstakingly hard work, doing stuff one doesn't want to do, and foregoing what one does want to do. Discipline and a goal-centered life are required for such actions, and these must be fostered at a young age, especially during high school years. The goal of college admission is a significant example of that.</p>

<p>Finally, higher level schools foster a much better social and academic environment for future success. Getting into them is thus not the end of the journey, but rather the beginning (the whole means vs. ends things, and apologies for the cliches). One's footing at the beginning is crucial. Higher level schools tend to have better, more motivated students (as a result of- you guessed it- the selectivity of admissions!). Just as better high schools send more students to better colleges, so better colleges send more students to better jobs. Why? Because the environment plays a key role in shaping how an individual thinks and sees the world. Even though the individual must ultimately take the initiative, higher caliber schooling and higher caliber students encourage high-caliber minds. Strong students in strong schools shape strong individuals.</p>

<p>Sorry if this isn't very articulate; it's late and I'm tired. But my point: hard work for a goal that opens up new windows of opportunity, as you will see when you're 60, will always be worth it.</p>

5

<p>I enjoy working hard. I enjoy putting all the effort into my schoolwork, and I enjoy the glory and pride that comes with being a top student. I also have plenty of time to relax and have fun.</p>

<p>Yes, I will be applying to one or two Ivies and several other top schools (I'm a junior). But it won't be the end of the world if I don't get in. Wherever I go will be perfectly fine, because I know you're right, where you go to college doesn't really matter in the end. But I like to aim high; it entertains me I guess you could say.</p>

6

<p>While it's great that you are trying to encourage people to be less stressed, you don't know yet whether it will have been worth it, because, if I read your post right, you just got admitted. You haven't gone through this college yet. Admission is a foot in the door, not an end goal. If you come back in four years, or six, or eight, and say that it still wasn't worth it, well then, that's a totally different case.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Acceptance into a top-rate school is not about having problems magically solved, or about a future salary/job. It is first and foremost a recognition of accomplishment. It's a plaque that honors your accomplishments during high school. It's an accolade for your parents, who have spent the last 17 years laboring to support you and to ensure you can live a decent life.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>This is also a problematic mentality. College admissions is about assembling a class and furthering the interests of the college. People who get admitted to very selective schools should rightly be proud, but applicants in general need to stop thinking of acceptance to any school as their just reward for whatever they did in high school that the college was (or should have been, if the process were, by their definition, "fair") compelled to give them. The job of adcoms is not to give pats on the back to you and your parents.</p>

7

<p>somethingtosay --</p>

<p>I may, and probably do, agree with the gist of your post, but I also agree with Jessiehl that the jury is still out on the wisdom or lack thereof of your choices. Please report back in about 5 years, then again in 10.</p>

<p>I say I agree with your thoughts because I have been to a a tippy top college, and also a top 20 for grad school. I have seen hugely successful people who did not attend college, or who attended schools I didn't even know the name of, and are not in the top 100 Unis or LACs.</p>

<p>Mostly I agree because the </p>

<p>"pot of gold at the end of the rainbow" </p>

<p>is such counterproductive and dangerous ideation. It is not different from having a crush on a 10th grade student across the room you really know nothing substantive about, but are 100% certain would make your life SOOOO much more meaningful.</p>

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<p>wxmann -- I also agree with Jessiehl on this issue... one day you will realize you don't need anyone else's affirmation... don't need a gold star on your forehead (like those from kindergarten), and don't need to cede importance to a system that can be so very arbitrary.</p>

9

<p>somethingtosay, I do not agree with your statement. While you may see this as helpful to possible future Ivy league students, your conclusion is invariably going to backfire as an excuse NOT to study at all. </p>

<p>A lot of students want to find excuses not to study in high school..this can be just one of them. </p>

<p>While its true that you don't need to go to an ivy league school to be financially successful, going to one is an accomplishment anyone should be happy about. It is DEFINITELY worth it working hard in high school and beyond to get the career and life you want. In an uncertain future and an uncertain economy, I'm pretty sure having an ivy league under your belt is nothing to be sorry for.</p>

<p>When your 50 or 60, you'll look back and be glad that you worked hard when you were young.</p>

10

<p>OP, I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but most kids do not approach high school the way you described. OTOH, most kids don't come to college confidential. Maybe the ones who do, can relate to what you are "talking" about</p>

11

<p>I always have to take CC students in stride because I have never, ever come across a student who is as the OP describes. The OP’s advice is great, but thankfully, it’s not a problem for probably 90% of the high school population.</p>

12

<p>Perhaps I misworded my argument. My premise is the same as jessiehl’s premise that college is a means vs. and ends. But getting into a good college is somewhat like an award, right? No denying that. Nobody needs pat on the backs but they never hurt. An neither is a pat on the back an ends to be achieved, but rather a recognition of a continuing journey towards those ends.</p>

<p>However, the key thing is that when one does not receive that “award”, that he/she does not take that in a personal manner. While getting an award is a recognition of achievement, not getting it is not a recognition of inadequecy.</p>

13

<p>good_friend100 – how would you know?</p>

<p>I’ve met more financially successful people who wished they had spent more time with friends and family than financially middling people who wish they had spent more time studying to get into elite colleges (or elite grad schools), or more time at the office, or more time on the road.</p>

<p>You see, beyond a decent house in a decent neighborhood, the marginal return on every additional $50k income keeps diminishing. If the striving for more means relationships are sacrificed, most people end up regretting that.</p>

<p>I don’t think you have a clue about life. I’m going to take a wild guess that you’re still in high school.</p>

14

<p>You obviously don’t know what it’s like to “not care” in high school and be faced with the job prospective of fast food and stripping after graduation.</p>

15

<p>Do what makes you happy. The reason I do so many, (and other people) do so many extra curriculars and take such difficult classes is because they enjoy the challenge of knowledge and they enjoy different things. If I had the opportunity I probably would have done MORE things (only did sports first two years). If you don’t enjoy the things you did to get to that high-ranked school then that’s probably NOT the place for you.</p>

16

<p>There are some people (like me) who have no choice but to take honors classes. Yes, that’s right, my parents made me take every class honors, except math because I tried that and literally failed out of it, and econ because I had an awful teacher and the only other teacher taught Regents.</p>

<p>As for extra curriculars…Some people (like me) go crazy when they don’t constantly have something to do. For example, I do Girl Scouts, choir, theater, church youth group, African/Latino Club, dance and a whole slew of other various things including working 2 jobs. </p>

<p>But I think that people should do what’s best for them. It’s good to be happy. And it’s good to find a happy medium.</p>

<p>I’ve always done a lot, and as a second semester senior, I don’t regret it at all. I love it, and I’ll miss a lot of what I do now when I go to college. But I know that I’ll find other things to do in college, and will continue some of mine.</p>

17

<p>I was planning on making a post the exact opposite of the original post.</p>

<p>In short, I didn’t try in school, and I didn’t have high aspirations until it was too late, and now I’m not going to my top choice Universities either due to rejection or lack of scholarships. Start Early.</p>

18

<p>I think that every poster on this site should be required to read this one part,</p>

<p>“When I was a freshman, I smiled politely at people who told me to not worry about college and just go through high school without such high aspirations. I figured that they were a different type of people—they didn’t have my abilities, my drive, my need for greatness. They didn’t study like I did, didn’t get my grades, simply didn’t speak my language.”</p>

<p>Newsflash - You’re nothing special. </p>

<p>Great post.</p>

19

<p>jliu wrote: "If you don’t enjoy the things you did to get to that high-ranked school then that’s probably NOT the place for you. "</p>

<p>I agree with this… the counter to this thought is usually this “well, I don’t care if you don’t enjoy these things. This is a temporary sacrifice you’re making to better your options in the future… better college… better jobs, and so on.”</p>

<p>To which I reply – it NEVER ENDS. If you’re faking and sacrificing now, won’t you have to continue that in college? And if that faking/sacrificing gets you a stressful job, won’t you have to continue faking/sacrificing in that job? </p>

<p>Where does the faking/sacrificing for the sake of the future end? Do you really want to start your genuine, organic, life at age 50?</p>

20

<p>top schools, theoretically, are for intellectuals who study for the sake of learning and do extracurriculars because they enjoy them. it is simply natural for them to follow the ivy league “path” because knowledge is what they value most.</p>

<p>if there is a goal in mind for those high schoolers destined for the ivy league, it is NOT to get into a top school, but to gain the knowledge and experience needed to make an impact in the real world. the fact that you approached work and activities in high school as a purely a means to get into the ivies makes me question your intellectual drive.</p>