<p>Can’t speak for other schools, but at ours, the college counselor was often visited not just by reps, but by the Deans of Admission at various Ivies, when they made such trips (& combined visits to several privates on such “tours”). The way I found out about this (after the fact) was when the counselor shared with me a conversation that the two of them had, during such a visit, about where my D was accepted (which included his U) and where she ultimately went (not there).</p>
<p>The school’s college counselor was not known for pushing Ivies, let alone maximizing any “connections” there, but the shared substance of their conversation put in perspective how very specific the counselor’s descriptions were (and perhaps the teachers’ also) about all the students. (Note, LOL: I did not once volunteer in that office, nor do I think it was even expected or allowed that parents would do so. I would never have been interested in doing that; I had my hands full as it was.) This was just a comment on the thoroughness of some counselors’ recs vs. the disappointing content of (apparently) some of them.</p>
<p>I guess I’m of two minds about the OP’s description. At the very least, the Mom maximized her learning opportunities, which could have been considerable and legitimate. She probably didn’t torpedo the applications of others, but just her presence could have unconsciously magnified her D’s significance in the mind of the GC (which is also legitimate).</p>
<p>It is also believable to me that she was careful not to set her child or children up against too close competitors, if she had access to final college lists of classmates.</p>
<p>It is equally conceivable that, as many have said, she’s a smart cookie who kept her children’s full accomplishments under wraps for tactical reasons, which is also perfectly ethical.
:)</p>
<p>ReadytoRoll, Why do you care what this woman thinks? Why do you give anything she’s said a second thought? </p>
<p>It really does take two to tango, in so many ways. Of course I’ve had people say rude things to me and the like. I just chalk it up to bad manners and move on. Life is short, don’t waste another minute of it thinking about this woman.</p>
<p>Let’s assume the worst n say she forged her kids grades, conned the counselor to give them better recs, even badmouthed or sabotaged some others. How tragic for her children that her “bragging rights” r more important 2 her than her kids welfare. U describe that the boy had to change majors and had possibly dropped out. She set her children up for disaster and failure. R their lives ruined yet?
Another possibility is she lied about everything. Maybe those kids weren’t really accepted; its all just brag talk.
Consider this scenario: she herself is borderline autistic(often not diagnosed), volunteered at those times 'cause she figured she wanted 2 concentrate on college stuff 4 the kids; its a win/win situation. She’s in the loop, everyone else benefits bec. she does lots of work. However, she does not communicate well w/ certain personality types. Her kids probably inherited the same LDs or obsessions she has and might for example, be able to wing SAT scores without studying(a certain subset does better this way!) or they can hole up in the lab and apply themselves and work, whereas others might get stir crazy…Such traits can certainly be appealing to certain colleges.
And this I believe is fact: the counsel office receives much more material than they share with the student body. She would learn which scholarships to apply for, which deadlines are important. Declaring which major at which dept. will improve chances. She would have learned admissions looking 4 re: essay material, community service, etc. Which schools “practice” (legally or not)affirmative action or preference for race or athletes. What those recruitment officers r looking 4, what budget they have been given.These things can definitely give the applicant an edge. Making sure her kids got work experience that last summer, is definitely one of the things colleges r looking at 2day, n that alone could have given her kids an edge.
Sadly, it takes much more work than even she may have put in 2 find out what r the Politically Correct or not so correct practices of which colleges. The colleges will not give u a straight answer, the counselor is also bound by certain professional (and legal)code and can not be frank about certain admissions practices.
This gal having the chance to b on the “inside” could b helpful to others in more ways than just filing papers, etc. Too bad her communication and sharing skills aren’t worth #*&t!</p>
<p>There seems to be a range of policies about parents access to volunteer positions that could possibly lead to a breach of confidentiality. At my kids school, parents would not be permitted to help in the counseling office if it gave access to other students personal information. However, at another private school in town, some of the parents (who were licensed professionals) were part of a resource team of professionals for some counseling/MH realated services. This was typically restricted to different levels of the school so that there would be no conflict of interest (ie if kid was in lower school, counselor might have a kid in upper school). I thought this was a bad idea, regardless, and should only use parents of FORMER students, if at all, but then again, no one asked me :)</p>
<p>As for research opportunities, older s did find an oppty to work in an oncology lab at a local med school when he was in HS, but then the JCAHO (that is the joint commission on hospital accredidation) reviewers came in to see the faciltiies and DS had to hide b/c he wasn’t 18, and apparently it was against JCAHO guidelines to have someone there under 18! Then younger s was supposed to work at another hospital last summer on a research grant. Got through all the required screening, even got his TB test and hospital parking decal. The day he was to start they discovered that the grant required that he be a college grad , which of course at 19 he isnt yet. So that got kibashed too. Now he has lined up a summer opportunity working in a private office that does psychopharmacology research. He is still keeping options open, but hopefully this will fly.</p>
<p>Back to the HS counseling volunteer issue, several parents at my s’s HS helped to set up the big annual college fair. They also helped with transportation, set up of displays and to serve lunch to the adcomms that were in from the colleges. The NHS kids also got to help with this, which gave them an early “shot” at the adcomms. As long as the parents dont get to snoop at other kids records, I think this is fine.</p>
<p>From my experience, odd as it may seem, affluent people whose kids were going to end up fine in any event, were the subject of the most cutthroat competition in both the citites an daffluent suburbs I have lived in or near. Perhaps this is because competitive drive helped their parents become affluent and they can’t turn it off in any aspect of their lives.</p>
<p>I would assume the woman OP is discussing volunteered at the GC office at the very least in the expectation that the GCs would give her kid some extra boost, which is frankly littl edifferent from the motives of many first grade “Class Moms” and PTA officers. It is a leap from there to assume the woman did anything grossly unethical, but in a world where a Texas mom plotted to kill her daughter’s cheerleading rival and a Missouri mom drove a neighboring teen to suicide via a Myspace campaign, anything is possible.</p>
<p>Re preferences for athletes, the NY Times did a very good series a few years ago on the surprisingly intense recruiting done by even elite Division III schools such as Haverford, Hopkins and Amherst. And no, kids do not have to be, as one poster said, “all state in a decent state” to be recruited by the Ivies; almost none of the athletes at my Ivy alma maters were all state or close to it, but were recruited nonetheless. Simply put, in the entire US, there are only 1000 all state football players and 250 all state basketball players a year (and not all seniors). With hundreds of schools each seeking at least 25 football recruits and 5 basketball recruits a year, there are nowhere near enough for schools which do not give athletic scholararships to recruit many of them.</p>