<p>If you do decide to go forward with BS, may I highly recommend getting the tuition insurance! We’ve done it twice and luckily, haven’t had to use it. It will be a tough transition for first few months, maybe even the first year as the kids find themselves and where they fit in. Only you know your kid. Some kids need a slight nudge, others can’t be pushed at all. Tough one. I’d nudge a little to see if it’s just jitters but there’s no way I’d drop off a miserable kid at boarding school. That’s a recipe for disaster, IMHO.</p>
<p>I had a thought . . .</p>
<p>It’s one hour from your house and you only work 20 minutes from the school. I don’t really advocate boarding school when it’s so close. It doesn’t allow for true independence.</p>
<p>Is it possible that since he didn’t jump into the process with both feet, that going and yet, being so close to his former friends and his family complicates things in a way it wouldn’t if he lived in a different state? He’d be close, and yet unable to participate in that old social life - and if he came home for weekends, he’d miss out at his boarding school.</p>
<p>Is that a possible subconscious demotivator?</p>
<p>Is there a 5 day or 5 1/2 day boarding option?</p>
<p>What I hear in this thread is a parent that loves the idea of BS, not the son. That was us when we chose BS for our 9th grade S last year. BS has not been the amazing, wonderful, eye opening experience we hoped for. He is not bonding with teachers, becoming wonderfully independent, taking advantage of all the opportunity, etc.–all that build up you hear from the schools and on this site. He’s still the same immature, bright, funny, but not so-together in boy who left home last fall. BS opens doors for those kids that seize it. For others, it makes sense because the local options won’t engage D/S. But, for many others–when you cut through the hype–the local PS and/or local day school options will do just as well. And, don’t forget the extreme financial and emotional sacrifice of sending him to “college” four years early. Where I end up, if it helps, is that D/S has got to want BS badly plus be the type of kid who will take full advantage (and I mean a motivated kid!). Otherwise, chill out as a parent, and let it go when it’s more of your dream than theirs.</p>
<p>Well said, Grinzing. Even Exeter began telling alum and parents to NOT send their children if they weren’t ready or enthusiastic about attending. Boarding schools have to act as surrogate parents and it’s a hard job to manage raising someone else’s child while raising your own.</p>
<p>Boarding school is not for helping children mature. It’s for helping mature children challenge themselves in ways not available to them locally.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>And with that in mind, I am fearful for my health.</p>
<p>Hah! :-). I think, with that sense of humor, you will do just fine!!!</p>
<p>Boarding school is not for helping children mature. It’s for helping mature children challenge themselves in ways not available to them locally. </p>
<p>Amen.</p>
<p>As I said when people questioned me about home-schooling my d for 6th-8th grade…“it is not for every kid nor every family. It worked for us because it is what my d needed at the time and I was in a position to give it to her.”</p>
<p>Well said grinzing. </p>
<p>This is a super tough call…going to BS in 9th grade is ideal IF one is ready for it. As an incoming freshman, there are a lot of activities that help you integrate into the school (not that these are non-existent for kids coming in as juniors and beyond, but there are fewer) and most kids already know the ropes. BUT if your child does not have a good year…you will be kicking yourself for having not waited. If your son goes to the local HS for 9th grade, he will know what that is all about and he can leave it for BS in 10th grade if it is not a good experience…and if he hates that too…well, he can chose what he likes best. You can’t do that the other way around.</p>
<p>Since he says he wants to wait, or not go…I would say postpone for a year. I know your family has probably done a lot concerning the applications etc…and you probably don’t want to do that again next year if he thinks he wants to go later but, it will be better than having him have a crappy year, leaving mid year, or ending up with poor grades etc…</p>
<p>Sully
Periwinkle says it best.
Have been on college and grad school admitcom. Have found that those that go because “they” want to, to great – those that go because of parent influence do not.</p>
<p>Your son will do best where he is most happy. Where he does best will give him the best shot at college.</p>
<p>However, if he really wants to go, but has cold feet about leaving home and friends is something you will need to work out with him. If PHS “poor”, that is also something you will need to work out with him. Realize that PHS offer a lot that BS do not (eg marching band).
good luck</p>
<p>While BW will give him some challenges that home will not; it will lack some of the challenges he will get at home. Even the experience of driving to the local soda/coffee hang out with the gang is something that he will lack at some BS (most do not allow cars).</p>
<p>Is he going? Have you sent in the first installment?</p>
<p>My two cents is that he’s experiencing cold feet. A normal process. Try not to react and let your feelings get in the way. I wouldn’t go over pros and cons again, that’s not what he needs. Listen to his fears and let him know you understand.</p>
<p>The options are deferring for a year, or taking a leap of faith. Only he can decide.</p>
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<p>Sulley,
The problem is what you state “I thought”. What does “he think”</p>