<p>While I question that OP's S has 3 free days, without need to study, I do like how parents added to earnings. I don't see why S can't get campus job at least one day a week.</p>
<p>My S worked until 1st term senior year. Like Mythmom's S, my S had so many other commitments he could not handle a job.</p>
<p>You know your child best. Does he need a push to work? Is he thrifty or extravagant? Does he need a lot of down time?</p>
<p>D works every semester at school. I think she is really proud of this. She has curtailed her extracurriculars, which calmom's daughter hasn't had to do, but she knew she would want to do more things in NYC than I could fund.</p>
<p>And she also supported herself last summer in NYC.</p>
<p>But I do think S's instrument practice very important and grueling, so I choose to give him a bit of a pass, especially because there's nothing to spend money on on his campus or in his town.</p>
<p>I had to work and try to focus all my life. I never could figure out how others could work at a JOB and still function at school. Twenty years post PHD I realized I had an attention deficit. So I think of this with kids.</p>
<p>Mythmom, practicing a musical instrument IS like an internship, IMHO, and has potential for earning income if he ever wants to give lessons, a very good post-graduate bridge job. If he lets those skills languish, he won't be able to do those things. Not to mention the immeasureable benefit to his soul... I think keeping up with musicianship is in its own unique category comparable to interning.</p>
<p>As an eighteen-year-old, I have no idea what Grumpster is talking about. I know people getting their doctoral degrees who work at Starbucks. And even if your parents are Bill and Melinda Gates, if they aren't supporting you after undergrad, working a paying job is NOT pretend. It is getting to know what you will have to do for the REST OF YOUR LIFE if you do not work hard to do something else. It is getting to know what you will have to do for the REST OF YOUR LIFE if you are unlucky and end up in a field with little work, or if you have a child early and can't take risks, etc. Grumpster, teens DO need to work if their parents (rightfully) do not give them all the money they want. And understanding at a distance is not real understanding.</p>
<p>All in all, waiting till undergrad is done to teach a work ethic is just too late.</p>
<p>Yeah, paying3, I agree. And I want to make it easier for him. And thanks bethie -- DS does have ADD.</p>
<p>But he is in: choral group, orchestra, play and takes lessons and practices two instruments. None of these are for credit. So, I agree. Asking him to work would be unfair.</p>
<p>I asked him to decide if he could. First he said yes, but with some probing, he said, I guess not.</p>
<p>paying3: Talk about the soul -- I miss his practicing so much. I have vowed to make hearing live music a priority. With Stony Brook only four miles away, it's not too difficult. And with so many graduate students there I can even afford it!</p>
<p>dis-grace, what can I tell you. I've supported myself since I graduated from college and now I support a family as well. I never HAD to work during college, my parents made a decent living and could support me at a state school. The only part-time jobs I had in college were paid internships, paid research type things. Since college I've been a "knowledge worker". </p>
<p>Contrast this with my illiterate great-grandmother who worked in a sweatshop or my grandmother (on the other side) who stood on her feet all day in the basement of Gimbals'. I knew both women well. Trust me, they never suggested I go do manual labor to learn a work ethic. They wanted me to get a good education (like my parents did) so I'd never have to do that kind of work. </p>
<p>If you need to work at Starbucks, to support yourself through college or grad school, then you need to work at Starbucks. You have to do what you have to do. But I think it's silly to say that doing low-skilled work is the only way to develop a "work ethic." And I don't see why it's better to work at Starbucks than to make copies at an office or do contract web design.</p>
<p>I actually think it's counterproductive, when kids get everything from their parents, and then work at Starbucks to buy unnecessary "extras". They develop a distorted sense of money. Better to force kids to live frugally on a stipend and devote their energy to studying, if the family can afford it. That's how I was brought up, that's how I will/do raise my own kids if I am able.</p>
<p>I think Grumpster is making a great point that most people here are misunderstanding.</p>
<p>When a teenager with rich parents takes a job at a Starbucks, and they as a family do not at all need the money, what, really, is the point? The teenager is not working at the Starbucks for the money; the student is working there for the work. That is the sole point.</p>
<p>His point is, if the money earned is irrelevant (often the case in these "get a work ethic" jobs), why not go and do volunteer work that helps society more, is more fulfilling, and requires equal work ethic and involvement?</p>
<p>Personally, I see absolutely no advantage to working that kind of job unless the kid has the kind of serious entitlement attitude issues that could be solved in that environment. Assuming that is not the case (and in the case of the OP, it seems her son has no attitude other than an enterprising one), why not subsidize some worthwhile volunteering?</p>
<p>Personally, I prefer knowing that my son is putting all of his effort into his schoolwork, rather than having to deal with being employed, too. He will be having coop soon, which is part of the program, and heck, he's got the rest of his life to be employed. Notice I didn't say, "he's got the rest of his life to be WORKING." In my opinion he already IS working and his grades show it.</p>
<p>I just wanted to point out that, after reading this entire thread (including the OP's second post), it's obvious that the responses say far more about the posters themselves than the actual situation at hand.</p>
<p>OP, what is your S going to be doing with his free time? If he's planning on taking on a heavier course load/extending his internship/getting involved with a specific activity, I'd have one answer.</p>
<p>If he just wants to laze around and take it easy, I'd have another.</p>
<p>Another option might be telling him that he can live cheaper, costing you less...and you'll bank that difference, maybe add a little interest, that he can draw on for post-college expenses (travel, setting up a first household, living expenses during a low-paying internship, grad school, maybe even an IRA).</p>