Our DS is a high school Senior. He is a 4.0 student in the top 5% of his class. He was really ambitious with his schedule. He is taking AP Physics 1, AP Calculus AB and AP Psych. He has many extra-curricular leadership positions -President of NHS, lead role in the school musical, Captain of the Ultimate Frisbee club team among other things. He has not struggled academically until now. He is DYING in AP Physics and struggles with understanding the concepts. AP Calculus moves so fast and he feels he could understand the material if taught at a slower pace. AP Psych is just a tremendous amount of reading. He is struggling with time-management between his studies, leadership positions, etc. Last night he just stared at his 13 Physics problems for hours with this hopeless look on his face. On top of all of this is the college application season. He is scared that his GPA is going to tank this semester. As parents, we are struggling with how to help ease the burden for him. There is so much academic pressure, but at the same time, he needs to the extra-curriculars for his college apps. We are a family that definitely needs all the scholarship money that he can earn, both need-based and merit. Anyone else out there with struggling Seniors right now. Encouragement and advice welcomed. Thanks!
Is he aiming for the Ivies or other good schools? There are full tuition plus merit scholarships avail able at places like Pitt and Alabama for students with a good profile. Your student does not need to be superman.
Can you afford a really strong physics tutor? Sometimes they can help a student grasp concepts more quickly. Physics is tough. A good tutor can make a big difference if the student already has some aptitude for it. Same with calculus.
Can he drop the Psych class? That’s what I’d have him consider.
Whatever you do, you need to act quickly, because he will only get further and further behind.
I’d be more worried about his mental and physical health than his GPA. The school musical alone is a ton of hours. My son was also the lead in several plays and musicals, so I know how long those rehearsals are! Is there any EC he can give up without hurting others? Can he switch to a different level of physics, since that seems to be causing him the most trouble?
If it isn’t possible to change anything, don’t worry that a few Bs are going to hurt his chances. He should be applying to some schools where he is at the top of their range anyway, in order to maximize his chances for merit scholarships.
Can he drop down from AP Physics to regular Physics or AP Calc to regular Calc? I believe Physics 1 is the algebra-based physics so dropping AP Calc should not affect this physics.
Is it too late to drop one of those AP classes? Physics sounds like the ideal candidate. I know some would advocate giving up ECs, but I’m assuming he does Ultimate Frisbee and the school musical because he genuinely enjoys them–both are the kind of ECs one does for fun (hopefully), and in fact those two may be his respite from the stressful academics. I don’t think taking honors Physics instead of AP Physics would be a dealbreaker on an application, especially is staying in AP Physics means grades dropping.
And not sure what schools are on his list, but if he loves Ultimate, look at BU. I friend of mine is hugely into Ultimate (like, has been for like 15 years) and played at BU–they have a competitive team. We also have a really awesome musical group! (BU On Broadway)
Did you meet with guidance? They should be able to help, but they may be busy with college applications and unaware of his struggles. If he is having trouble with physics early in the year, he may not be able to get >3 on the AP exam. Unless he is aiming for engineering, I would ask guidance if he could drop it. Calculus must have options. See if he can be placed more appropriately. Some kids in our school skip pre-calc and then Calc may be challenging. I would definitely keep the AP Psych, it is considered to be an easy AP and he should be able to do well. Can you encourage him to prioritize his EC activities and pick 1-2 most important?
Did he have any physics before AP Physics? If not, that is an ambitious schedule and I would look into dropping to honors physics or similar.
What math did he have last year and has he struggled in the past with math? It doesn’t necessarily sound like a time management thing to me, if you say he stared at the physics problems. It sounds like he needs a tutor or help with the material. Although I am sure the limited amount of time he has does not help things. I agree that school musicals and plays can eat up enormous amounts of time.
I would make sure he has contacted his physics teacher for help/tutor, investigate dropping a level, and seeing if this is truly time management or if he’s experiencing for the first time something not coming easy to him.
Sounds like he needs to drop something - maybe the physics? But if he thinks he could devote more time to the Physics and succeed, then I’d drop the Psych and the heavy reading. He needs to talk to his GC. Senior fall is very busy for many students that are also involved in school activities, plus as you said, the college applications and last minute college visits, etc. He can also limit his activities to the 3 you mentioned: NHS, lead in the school play and the Ultimate Frisbee. Frisbee is good because it gets him outside and gives him a mental break. If his spinning other plates or as you say "among other things’, might be time to drop the “other things”. I used to tell the kids the academic pressures don’t ease up when you go to college so might as well learn how to “balance” academics and fun stuff now. He will “hurt” himself more if he tanks senior year than if he learns to not bite off more than he can chew now.
He should be aware that those three AP courses take a year in high school to cover what a college course covers in a semester, so if he thinks those courses cover material too quickly, college may be even more of a shock. Three college courses would ordinarily nominally be 36 hours of work per week (including in-class and out-of-class time) per week for a semester, but spreading them out over a year should mean nominally about 18 hours of work per week, although stronger students often need significantly less time to complete the needed work.
However, it may be not those courses per se, but that he is overscheduled with those courses, some other high school courses in addition, music extracurricular (potentially very time consuming), and sports extracurricular (potentially also very time consuming).
I second the priority of your child’s mental and physical health. If he spirals into depression/anxiety, not only is he likely to REALLY tank his academics, but he might not be able to attend college at all. Yes, that’s the worst case scenario. But really, if you can focus on some more automatic scholarship schools, it can take the pressure off of trying to have the perfection college application.
Ask for your child’s input to find out his stressors. And also ask what he enjoys. You want to make sure to keep some exercise and enjoyment in his schedule to help reduce stress.
I would find out from guidance counselor options for withdrawing/dropping classes. Find out deadlines. Find out if the withdrawal will be noted on his transcript. Start with AP Psych. I think it has a reputation for not counting as a really challenging course? Just cutting out all that reading could save a lot of time.
And ECs, does he really enjoy leading so many things? Ask if he had to drop an EC, which one he would choose. It can be the most time consuming, or the one he least enjoys.
Remember there will have to be time set aside for essay writing. Not something you can do at the last minute. So pruning away now at his schedule might relieve some stress as well as allow for some mental sharpness for writing those essays.
It is not easy to ride this crazy train of Senior Year. So much pressure coming from all directions. Be sure to give your child a safe space at home where his every move is not dictated by college. Don’t talk about college stuff all the time. Don’t force him to answer questions from relatives and well meaning friends and neighbors. Allow him time to just be the kid that he is.
There are plenty of colleges out there, and it is possible to find one that meets financial needs even if your child does not turn in perfect grades. Really.
Good luck to you.
I’d see if he can drop down to a lower physics class, if there is one. If not, get a tutor. Drop AP Psych and get out from under all that reading. It’s not viewed as a particularly valuable AP anyway. He may need to drop down to a regular calculus class also, if there is one. Or maybe he could stay in AP AB by reducing the load elsewhere and/or getting some tutoring.
I think it’s important to rescue his GPA and his sanity.
Hugs to you @teamgris My kid is running scared right now too…thank god, my kid said last year that he didn’t think he could handle AP Physics and never went down that path. He wouldn’t have been able to handle it…and he’s a smart cookie.
As others have said, any way to still get out of it? I know it’s really late…but dropping into a lower class for even one of them would make a difference…is there a guidance counselor who could go to bat for you?
You’re a good mom and your son is lucky that you’re his advocate.
If you love your child, remove any pressure that you have been applying. State U is fine. Regional LAC is fine. If you are pushing toward fancy brand names you are hurting him.
My daughter is a college freshman this year. I saw her and a lot of her friends struggle last year. You do want to take your son’s situation seriously. Several of these kids really fell apart towards the end of the year, and they made some bad decisions as a result. At least three of her friends seriously considered postponing going off to college this fall because they were so burned out.
Please let your son know that you understand this is not a race. He should drop whatever classes he needs to. He will be fine!! You don’t want him to have a mental health crisis because he’s feeling overwhelmed. That can have very bad outcomes. I know from personal experience.
tell him its fine with you to drop down to a lower physics and math classes, and drop the AP Psych altogether, and drop NHS which is a meaningless EC to most colleges. Then make sure his HS allows him to make the changes in his schedule.
there are 3000 colleges that he can go to- there is no need to give him self a breakdown from trying to get into colleges that will cause him even more stress.
he may need both permission from you , as well as the confidence that you’ll “have his back” with his HS counselor[ should that becomes necessary] .
bless you for being an good mom.
I’m going to take a different approach. Many public schools do not allow you to drop classes after the first few weeks of school without taking an “F” or leaving a blemish on the kid’s record. Private schools may be different. The kid needs to drop all the extracurricular—except one (likely the lead in the play). He can still be a member of all those clubs (or maybe not)—but not a leader. He can explain (if ever needed) that the play lead required his full attention. Make some room for these three classes in his life. Get some private tutors to help him catch up—especially the math and the physics. It doesn’t really matter how he does on the AP exams—b/c he’ll be into college by then. He’ll just have to retake the course in college. It would be great to get the credit, but no biggie if he doesn’t.
Offering up a different perspective from a public school parent.
My sons’ school allows a student to drop down a level. If student drops down before the end of the quarter, the course will never appear on his transcript or interim grade report sent to ED schools. The student’s grade is bumped up a full letter grade (so from a 75 to an 85) but often the student has a hole to dig out of.