My Daughter is in a school one state away. I don’t want to mention where she is from and I don’t want to mention where she is attending lets just say Northeast. She is starting her second semester and has been making friends like anyone else. does. She recently applied to join a sorority and was not picked , although ALL of her dorm friends, including her room mate were picked. I may also add that EVERY one of the friends picked were from the same state and my Daughter is from a different state. My Daughter is at a point where she wants to just pack up and leave. We have told her that’s a bad idea but if she’s that miserable she can come home ( I am not happy about it though) and go locally. Can anyone suggest a path for my Daughter to take? I have suggested speaking to her RA, going to a confidential counselor or joining a club like a dance club, a business club etc. My heart breaks for her !
I’m sorry about your daughters experience . I know you say she’s miserable but can she get involved in school other ways? I’m not aware of your situation if dropping out a the middle of the semester can cause some issues with the school .I have a younger cousin this happened to but she ended up joining a club and met a great group of friends . Does your daughter have a group friends she can hang out with it not in a sorority? I know how cliquey some can be. But if she is depressed or it is affecting her grades then maybe she should come home. But if not she can reach out to other ppl not involved in Greek life? I don’t know if is Greek life is a big deal at the school she attends. But I know when you feel left out it can be depressing . This happened to me in high school and caused my grades to slip . The main goal college is education and we all will experience rejection as young adults. but if her social life begins to affect her grades and she becomes depressed she should come home .
We have tried to convince her that sororities are not the end all to her world and even told her that a sorority is not what college is all about. We are hoping that she has listened and will join some club but right now we just try to stay in touch without being “helicopter parents”. She’s a big girl now and I feel she needs to stand on her own two feet. Anything short of bullying or a physical altercation I think she can handle, we just need her to make the first step to join something!