Sound off to an admissions officer

Parents Forum
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<p>I also know someone deferred EA from Columbia, who did see Barnard as being the way to go to Columbia, and was accepted to Barnard. I also wonder how Barnard can know for sure who applied to Columbia -- although I would imagine they can glean some info from the "why Barnard" essay.</p>

<p>kathyc: I do feel for you, and I'm sorry your daughter didn't get into your alma mater. I know other people in your shoes; I think it is tougher on the parents. The kid eventually falls in love with the school they attend, and get over the disappointment. But the bitterness parents feel linger. I hope she does end up at a great place and is able to start her own traditions.</p>

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<p>I definitely understand the bitterness that alums feel when their highly qualified kids don't get into their alma maters. Some posters on some other threads have suggested that those parents have an inappropriate sense of "entitlement," but I don't see it that way at all. I do see some level of expectation that legacy would be a tie-breaker, and I think that's reasonably based on a history of most schools having used legacy that way. </p>

<p>We're still waiting on a decision from my and my father's alma mater. My father told me that when my brother applied and was rejected there 30 years ago, someone from admissions called to let him know in advance that the result would not be favorable. So, not knowing whether admissions still does that (which I kind of doubt), my son still takes it as a favorable sign that no one has called yet. I told him they had better not call, because they will not receive a very rational, gracious response from me. They'd be better off getting my son, who's much more mature than I am about such things and will be just fine (well, irritated) if he's rejected.</p>

<p>Oh, and for the record, my brother landed on his feet and probably hasn't wasted a minute on the rejection. He was so incredibly happy at the school where he ended up (and met his wife) that it seems like it was the better outcome.</p>

83

<p>Is there a thread: My S/D was rejected by my alma mater? If so, please excuse yet another post from me on this "sound off" thread. </p>

<p>My daughter was waitlisted at my alma mater. The alma mater for which I did fund-raising, made quarterly donations, stayed involved with the alumni network/club, proudly wear my college sweatshirt and display an alumni license plate holder for all the world to see. </p>

<p>But wait, there is more to the story. Not only is my daughter much more qualified than I ever was, but she is unequivocally more qualified (stats and non-stats) than two boys from her class who were accepted. Yes, she displayed interest, even spent several summers on campus. You name it, she did it. </p>

<p>Once my blood stopped boiling, I thought....hmmm...how this could be? I mean, really. How did this happen? Keep in mind we live in a fairly small town and we have all known each other since these kids were in preschool. Things like National Merit, honor society memberships, awards, honor roll, athletics/music involvement, etc., are published in the school newsletter. Plus, these kids have been in class together. They know what's what. </p>

<p>Then the answer dawned on me in all its unfortunate truth....these boys' parents are LOADED and need no financial aid! We do. So, I am a legacy that didn't "make it" enough to enable my child to attend without help. Shame on me. My alma mater's only nice way to say thanks but no thanks? Waitlist. </p>

<p>My family's sweatshirts and t-shirts in all conditions and sizes, license plate holder, mugs, flags, alumni membership card, recent college brochures, course catalog, postcards, preliminary parent congratulatory letter, etc. are all packed up in a box (I did save out my diploma and tassle). I SO want to mail it to the admissions office and tell them what they can do with it. And don't so much as even THINK about calling me for a donation. Ever. </p>

<p>It is a twist of the knife that another admitted boy lives on our block. I know his mother can't wait to tell me the exciting news!! "My son got accepted to your alma mater! Isn't that just wonderful? Your daughter did too, of course?"</p>

<p>GRRRR....I'm never leaving my house.</p>

84

<p>
[quote]
Not only is my daughter much more qualified than I ever was, but she is unequivocally more qualified (stats and non-stats) than two boys from her class who were accepted.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I think another key word here is "boys". I just looked at the statistics of an LAC that my D was heavily interested in earlier in her college applications process, and the admission rate for boys is much, much higher than for girls. A boy from D's school is already in. Two ED girls were deferred. If a school has to maintain a 50/50 gender balance, it has to follow this path.</p>

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<p>je<em>ne</em>sais_quoi: Here's another possibility -- notice how boys were accepted while your daughter was waitlisted? The acceptance rate for boys at many schools (including your alma mater) is higher than for girls. Many schools want a 50-50 split of male/female on campus, and can only accomplish that by accepting a higher percentage of boys. The amazing accomplishments of our daughters is backfiring.</p>

<p>I am very sympathetic to your anger. I only hope that your daughter eventually gets in somewhere she loves. (Although, you might want to contact someone on campus who you worked with on all the fundraising and club activities and tell them how you feel, mention that your daughter was waitlisted and ask for any help they can give. Assuming she still wants to go.) </p>

<p>And to all the people out there who moan and groan about all the underqualified legacies who take their spots at the good schools -- je<em>ne</em>sais_quoi's daughter is a great example of how things have changed.</p>

<p>Cross posted with Bunsen Burner. It's a shocker to compare those male/female acceptance rates.</p>

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<p>But the situation is reversed at most of the tech schools. Girls have it much easier. :)</p>

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<p>True. :) My D walked into the Harvey Mudd Admissions Office to ask for a brochure for her male friend, and she was instantly "courted" by an ad. officer who thought she was a "prospie"! She had no desire to apply.</p>

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<p>Now you tell me!! :)</p>

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<p>I interview for my HYP alma mater and knowing that the accept rate will probably be >9% this year, I'm sympathetic to all who venture into the admissions morass.</p>

<p>Yearly, I interview kids who seem vastly superior to me when I was their age! Yet I know that most of them won't be accepted -- the sheer volume of apps prevents that.</p>

<p>I'm under no illusions to my own kids' chances if and when they get to applying to colleges (my eleven year old wants to go there so far -- my six year old doesn't want to leave elementary school) even given their "legacy" status. Good luck to you all, especially since Ivy decisions midnight is fast approaching.</p>

90

<p>Dear AdCom, Would it have killed you to set a date and time for releasing your admissions decisions? Most colleges can, why can't you? And if you can't manage one of your most important functions with enough accuracy to schedule the date, then why should I believe you can perform on your other functions, like educating my son? Get a clue - I'm not the only parent who travels and I'm not the only parent who wants to be there for their kid when he receives big news. Get your act together! </p>

<p>By the way - your behavior during this whole process has moved you from a top choice to a "whatever" choice.</p>

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<p>Just a comment on the Barnard/Columbia thing, from a Barnard parent. I don't think that the Barnard ad com has access to Columbia application records, so they don't know who has applied to both schools unless they are told. However, when students are admitted to both, they tend to choose Columbia -- and the Barnard ad com is probably very concerned with yield, so they probably look for fit -- and that may be very apparent from essays, short answers, & recs. Also, both colleges have ED, and it is probably more common for applicants to use their ED option with Columbia rather than Barnard... so by definition those who apply to both are generally entering the more competitive RD applicant pool. </p>

<p>That being said, there are plenty of Barnard students who did apply to both and were accepted at Barnard. I don't think it really impacts chances -- I just think that the fact that the student is applying to both does say a little bit about "fit".</p>

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<p>
[quote]
But the bitterness parents feel linger.

[/quote]
You bet it does. If my high school child does not get into my alma mater and his application looks to be at least equal to those that do (as posted on CC), then you bet I will no longer interview applicants as I do now. (And my area needs more alumni to interview applicants!) And they can forget about any money, too (which they often phase in mailings as being for scholarships). I know who is getting these scholarships, and oftentimes I bet it is students who have lower stats than my son will have, but they provide "diversity" (thinly-disguised AA, which I despise).</p>

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<p>Actually, had I been accepted to both Columbia and Barnard, I would have chosen Barnard.</p>

<p>Oh well.</p>

<p>Now, for my latest--</p>

<p>Dear Emory:
Waitlists are so "in" right now, aren't they? You accepted Casey, Sam 1, Sam 2... Would it have killed you to take me? I at least didn't cheat my way through high school.</p>

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<p>And, it's not like we have given to our alma mater in the hopes that our children would get in. We started giving right after graduation, 8-10 years before our children were born. Also, my oldest son had no chance of getting in and I knew it. He didn't even apply. And, we can't even point to the need for financial aid as a reason since we are "full-fare".</p>

95

<p>I just want to thank you -- at least, overall. ;)</p>

<p>Did she get into all her reaches? No way. Were there a couple of disappointments? Sure. But overall, you got it right: you saw her accomplishments, and her potential, and rewarded her with offers in your freshman classes, plural, and especially did so where her applications demonstrated sincerity, effort, consistency in her message, and promise in your particular environments.</p>

<p>Amid the thousands of applications you received to each one of these colleges, I consider it fairly miraculous that so many right decisions were made, including the rejections and waitlists.</p>

<p>Thank you, thank you, thank you.</p>

96

<p>Dear Selective Ivy League Admissions Committee:</p>

<p>When you read my student's college applications were you:
A) Asleep
B) Comatose
C) Dead or
D) All of the Above ? </p>

<p>Love,
Mom</p>