<p>“Every place offers a chance to “bloom where you’re planted.””</p>
<p>Well said, paying3tuitions, I like that. With anything in life, attitude makes such a difference.</p>
<p>^thanks, MM, I live by it, but it’s certainly not original! </p>
<p>Hence the quotation marks above. :)</p>
<p>“The South” is itself a large and diverse region – I grew up there and no one I knew ever said “Sir” or Ma’am." As far as friendliness – I have found people in the West, Midwest, and South to be generally friendlier than those from the NE – mostly because they’re not as much in a hurry and they speak more slowly.</p>
<p>I think a lot of the difference in behavior comes from the contrast between the urban, big city culture of the NE vs. the small town or suburban lifestyle of other parts of the country. There is no other large expanse of city/urban culture in the U.S. outside of the Washington-NY-Philly-Boston corridor – that area is unique in this country. I find the rest of the country to be more similar than not and the NE is the exception. I have noticed the same contrast in behavior between city vs. countryside overseas, so I think that accounts for much of the difference.</p>
<p>I do notice that women wear more make-up in the South. Even though I grew up there, I always found it weird and it still surprises me when I return home.</p>
<p>But really, these differences are all very minor and I can’t imagine it being noticeable enough or different enough to bother a college student. I and all my high school classmates went to college in the NE and I don’t remember anyone mentioning having to adjust to the local culture. We’re all Americans with the same box stores and chain restaurants everywhere.</p>
<p>I grew up in the south but had never heard the “Miss first name” until I moved further north to Maryland. We always called our friends’ parents “Mr and Mrs …”. I was very put off when I heard it the first time and have asked anyone who calls me by the “Miss first name” to drop the “Miss” and just use my first name.</p>
<p>Now that I think about it, I remember college classmates from the NE worrying about the possibility of jobs or grad school outside of the NE, and in the end, the farthest anyone I knew moved was to Chicago. In contrast, friends from the South had no issues with moving anywhere in the country, so it strikes me that it may be mostly kids from the NE who worry about “adjusting” to another part of the U.S.</p>
<p>The “Miss Mary” thing IS more familiar than “Mrs Jones” and that’s the point. In our family it was what you called a close family friend to show that she was like family (I’d have called her “Aunt Mary” if she were family, not “Aunt Jones”). I call my m-i-l “Miss Emma”. I love her, but she’s NOT my mom and I’d never call her that.</p>
<p>We live near Houston in a very diverse suburb and I don’t take offense when one of my kids’ friends answers me with “yes” instead of “yes ma’am”, but the latter sure sounds more respectful to me.</p>
<p>Choosing your battles is always difficult, but allowing my children to call me by my first name would have NOT worked for me ;-).</p>
<p>Just to be clear, if you don’t know someone or haven’t been invited to, than it’s MR / Mrs. last name. The Mr. / Mrs. first name is a sign of respectful familiarity and often affection. </p>
<p>It is perhaps my favorite Southern cultural tradition. (Sorry mom2collegekids) :)</p>
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<p>Plenty of people in the northeast live in suburbs and small towns, and even in very rural areas.</p>
<p>It is certainly true that SOME people from other areas visit NYC and assume that the entire region is just like that.</p>
<p>I remember a neighbor of my husband’s family in the midwest remarking–about housing–that “the midwest has the land,” supposedly in contrast to New England! Their entire area consists of flat, landscaped subdivision after subdivision with no natural features, punctuated by strip malls, the very largest lots being about 1/2 an acre. Meanwhile most of the town where we lived in CT and most of the surrounding area–with the exception of the traditional town centers, white clapboard churches and all–was zoned for 2 or 4 acres, with winding roads, hills and valleys, and lots and lots of woods. Apparently he thought that the entire region looked like Queens.</p>
<p>Consolation, I remember being AMAZED the first time I visited Massachusetts in high school. When we drove out of Boston and were soon out in open spaces, I was so surprised! Growing up, I’d always pictured New England as being all factories - I guess from social studies classes or something. Then when DH and I drove into Maine for the first time, we really thought we were in the wilderness. NO BILLBOARDS!!! We had never heard of such a concept. Now THAT is a big plus over Texas. :-)</p>
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That’s certainly true and the associated big city behavior is not part of the culture in those places. However, I found kids in the NE to be much more influenced by the culture of nearby cities than their counterparts elsewhere. Kids on Long Island grow up in the suburbs, but their parents often work in the city, and they visit on a regular basis for shopping or entertainment, as do kids in the suburbs of Philly or Boston. This is not true in much of the rest of the country – kids who grow up in the suburbs of say, Indianapolis or Atlanta are not particularly affected by their nearby city and usually have little interaction with it.</p>
<p>I moved south in themid 70’s. Was shocked then by the differend dress styles (I was wearing long skirts then, they were wearing short shorts) and I was surprised by the amount of married student housing that was available, a so few of my college friends had married in or right out of college. I ended up staying south an live in a large metropolitan area. There are few “southern” accents heard around here, unless the person is from a more rural area. C’mon down! You’ll love it. We do have good bagels available. What I miss are the good freestanding bakeries. We are a little short on those.</p>
<p>For me too, the “Miss Mary” designation was for an adult that the kids were familiar with, or an adult familiar to the parents/family that the kids were being introduced to for the first time. Children were not supposed to address an adult by their first name without the “title.”</p>
<p>One of the things I’ve enjoyed most about some cities such as Chicago and NYC is the ethnicity that still exists in some neighborhoods where you can find bakeries and restaurants with genuine italian or german food. We really don’t have that so much in the south or at least not that I’ve experienced.</p>
<p>I’m with ncmentor and Lake Washington. My boys used the “Miss Jane” “Mr Joe” names for our good friends or people we socialized with a lot. Of course, there were a few people who were not comfortable with it - so my kids called them “Mr. Smith” or “Mrs. Smith.” Everyone else was “Mr Smith” or “Mrs Smith.” No big deal. </p>
<p>Personally, I don’t like children calling me by just my first name. I’ve had a few do this over the years. However, I realized that it was a cultural thing with them (their families) and so I let it go.</p>
<p>A friend of mine and I had a discussion about this recently. We’ve been friends for 25 years and our kids have always done the “Miss <strong>” and “Mr __<em>” thing. But it makes her nuts that her oldest daughter - now 23 - STILL calls me “Miss _</em></strong>!” She asked if I minded if her daughter called me by my first name - and I told her of course not! Shoot - the daughter and I split a bottle of wine during Hurricane Ike…she’s an adult! The trick now is to get the daughter used to it! She’s getting there…but it’s slow!</p>
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<p>I disagree. For my work, I wind up traveling to suburban areas of different cities. There’s really no substantive differences between the suburban area of one city and another. Living in suburban St. Louis is like living in suburban Minneapolis, like suburban Chicago, suburban Boston, suburban Atlanta, etc. The same Panera Breads. The same strip malls and big box stores. The interaction with the city is what you make of it, regardless of what the city is. The family who lived outside NYC but made it a point to travel in frequently to shop, see plays, etc. would do the same if they moved to Atlanta. The family who lives on Long Island who never steps foot into Manhattan would do the same if they moved to Atlanta.</p>
<p>Ick-snay on the “Miss Mary” thing – sounds like what you call a preschool teacher.
I’d rather be addressed by my first name, or as Mrs. XX, than as Miss Mary.</p>
<p>As for respect - I agree with NSM, it’s about tone. “Yes, mom” is perfectly respectful as a response. My kid saying “yes, ma’am” to me ISN’T respectful, because to my Northern ears, ma’am is a sign of respect to STRANGERS and I am not a stranger to my kid. It has the same snarky ring to it as if I asked my kid to take out the garbage and he replied, “Yes, Mrs. XX.”</p>
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Exactly!! I miss the small family bakeries with thise metal things inthe ceiling tht holds the string they use to tie the boxes. I can still picture them pulling downt he string and tying the box!</p>
<p>I also agree with pg- while downtown doesn’tffer much in the way of shopping and outr public transportation isn’t anywhere near as user-friendly or extensive and readily accessible as, say NY or DC, there are restaurants, theaters, museums, etc that they will go to in town. We just took the buys to see “Second City” that were doing an show downtown, and we went to see Cirque de Soleil’s “cavalia”. If you like horses, and it comes to your town, go see it!</p>
<p>** Forgot to mention-- we were sometimes expectedl our parents friends “aunt so-and-so” or “uncle-so-and-so” or simply Mr and Mrs. I see these folks today, and still tend to want to use these pronouns. Feels funny to call them by their first names!</p>
<p><<ick-snay on=“” the=“” “miss=”" mary"=“” thing=“” --=“” sounds=“” like=“” what=“” you=“” call=“” a=“” preschool=“” teacher.=“”>></ick-snay></p>
<p>This is true, but my kids have also had coaches (even up to MS level) that wanted to be called “Coach Mike” or “Coach Sean.” No real difference. To me, it provides a nice combination of respect and familiarity. But again, it should not be thrust upon someone who is not comfortable with the name.</p>
<p>It’s funny that you say this. H is a physician, and he had joined his father’s practice. So, because there were two Dr. X’s, his father went by Dr. X and he introduced himself as Dr. Joe. (name not Joe, but you get the idea) The father retired but the Dr. Joe title still stuck. His patients seem to love it. I think it’s kind of goofy, myself.</p>
<p>Coach Mike / Coach Sean feels different to me than Miss Mary. Sorry, to my Northern ears, Miss Mary is the preschool teacher! Or maybe the kindergarten teacher!</p>
<p><<* Forgot to mention-- we were sometimes expectedl our parents friends “aunt so-and-so” or “ucle-so-and-so” or simply Mr and Mrs. I see these folks today, and still tend to want to use these pronouns. Feels funny to call them by theif first names!>></p>
<p>My husband has a cousin that we are particularly close to. When we visit family, we generally stay with her and her husband and kids. My kids have always called them “Aunt” and “Uncle.” My sons figured out years ago that those weren’t really the right names for the relationship - but they still use them. We also have 2 very close friends (1 from my childhood, 1 from DH"s college days) that the kids have always called “Aunt” and “Uncle.” It’s funny now that one of them is (finally) married. So now it’s “Uncle _<em>” and “Miss </em>!”</p>