^^this!!
" Now, we are very realistic that there are TONS of highly academic kids applying to college."
Your son has a chance at being accepted to those schools. Because so many many top students (some 100,000 or so) will apply to top schools it makes it very difficult to ascertain how high ones chances are when applying to these types of schools. Sports is an excellent EC and I’m sure he did it because he enjoyed it and learned from it not because he felt it was a gateway to college. There are schools that your son would be a strong match for that are excellent schools and that his stats and sports EC would make him stand out. There would still be no guarantee but he’d have a much higher likelihood of being accepted than at many of the schools you’ve mentioned. Your son is a stand out student, the issue is that the schools you have chosen will have mostly “stand out” students applying.
And my point… 
OP said: “that is where the hooks, amazing ECs and students who “stand out”, etc comes into play.”
All we know is OP thinks that, other than sports, (which he isn’t driven to continue,) there’s nothing that shines or jumps off the page.
But we still don’t know what else besides sports. What sort of volunteering, what sorts of clubs, etc. And what else that she may be missing or dismissing, including outside the hs box. It’s possible the rest does add up.
He might have a fuller picture that indeed shows he’s rounded, engaged, has purpose and more. Take some time to look for that.
If it’s true all he did was sports, the vol was easy hanging with buds and the clubs were only, say, honor societies, nothing outside school, sure, that’s an issue. Even so, a rising senior has 4 months to change, fine tune.
Take some time to learn what does matter to schools like “2 Ivys, UVA, Michigan, CMU, Duke, JHU.” What they say they “look for.” It’s not all about big deal bullets. They’re building a real community of real kids.
Harvard’s Fitzsimmons has said he often starts with the essay. But the linear format shows Activities first. Try to make the right holistic impression. It means looking at what the colleges do say.
There are just no guarantees, when it comes to tippy top schools. Two of our previous valedictorians (our school is 11th in the state with 400 kids in a graduating class) were not admitted to the tippy top schools that they applied to. One would have been comparable in activities to OP’s son and the other was more academically related clubs - plus he was an Eagle Scout. So you just never know. I think focusing your son’s essays and preparing for interviews is the best use of your resources. Two students from our school that I know were accepted into an Ivy had family alumni connections. The other one in recent years was just an exceptional young man in Everything (but sports). National art awards, NMF, Debate national qualifier 4 years, perfect ACT etc…, but the kicker is he was the nicest kid you have ever met. My kids always said you think you should hate him because he’s so perfect, but you can’t! I’m sure he knocked the interview out the park. Editing to add - The Eagle Scout was on the other end of spectrum and there was some satisfaction from other kids that he did not get accepted. I suspect his smugness came off in the interviews.
What many can’t fathom is that, after the stats and some good rounding (depth *and * breadth,) the nice kid thing matters so much. Even H says: would make a great roommate and classmate. Of course, you still need to show how you match. But that’s more than academics and awards.
Not just the *fait accompli * of past glory.
In terms of sports as a hook to a selective colleges, dedication to the sports is certainly important, but what counts most in terms of admissions is getting the coaches attention and support. Whether it’s Div 1 or 3, if your son is good enough to attract the attention of the coach from the particular college he’s interested, then that would be a big help. Otherwise, sports becomes just another EC. My son is a rising senior, currently on the recruitment pathway to an Ivy school. He too liked many sports, but starting in his freshman year, he put in 110% just in one sport and became nationally highly ranked. Not much of other ECs, since he’s been putting in literally 5-6 hours every day training and at the same time trying to keep up his school work and grades. He’s been offered a recruitment slots by all the Ivys, despite the lackluster ECs. All of his friends who are also getting recruited by the powerhouse Div 1 schools have similar qualities as well.
If your son is a rising junior, then he may still have a chance to build up an impressive athletic stats to attract the college coaches attention by the end of his junior year. But that would mean just focusing on one sport and dropping the other two.
The Original Poster stated at the outset that the son is not now, nor does he hope to be, a recruited athlete. Given that something like 97-98% of HS athletes will not be recruited for D1, that’s probably a healthy point of view. So while it might be a viable track for your kid, that’s not what the OP asked.
S19 will be in the same boat with sports as his main EC…and he won’t be good enough nor would he want to compete in college. He runs XC, winter track, and track. He’s better than most but, on our crazy competitive team, he’s not in the top five for his grade. That being said, he spends 20 hours a week at practice all year round including summer. That, along with hopefully having very high test scores and a strong GPA with 10 APs, should show that he manages his time well. He also is a fairly talented painter but does not have any awards (yet). He will attach portfolios where accepted on the applications but he won’t be a national art award winner. With running, he only has time to commit to painting during school and maybe another couple of hours a week.
I agree with the posters above that WHO he is will be most important - his recs and his essays will show a student who advocates for himself and who teachers say lead in their classes. He’s a thoughtful guy with multiple academic interests. He’s just as interested in math as his is in history and writing and science. His teachers know as much. He’s extremely well rounded and a very curious student.
I have to wonder if the OP’s son and S19 will fare better at schools who have more time to read apps carefully and really seek out the kids they want. In our case, S19 is looking at LACs almost exclusively and I think his interviews and recs/essays will be what set him apart.
I would not be quick to dismiss a larger university simply because they are larger than an LAC. I’m of the belief that most, if not all of the schools (and certainly all the privates) on the OP’s son’s list do, in fact, read applications carefully, and as one who went through the admissions process myself a few years ago and considered all of the same schools (except SMU), several of my acceptances came with notes from the AO’s telling me how much they enjoyed my essays.
Of course, if an LAC is an environment that he wants, then he should consider by all means.
We are in similar boat. I have a kid in comparable situation–very high stats and grades, year-round sports 20-25 hours training per week but no recruitable sports talent. Like you, I have been wondering about the lack of compelling “hook” and racking my brain about how the various elements of his ECs could be presented as self-made hooks…and coming up blank. The best we can do, I think, is encourage kids to pursue genuine interests, present themselves in thoughtful, sincere essays, take the time to study their target schools, understand what those institutions value, and make a case (implicitly and explicitly) for how those elements fit together.
Sure, it would be nice to have a so-called hook. No denying to obvious advantages of being an athletic recruit, music recruit, legacy, etc. That said, there is a lot of shallow talk from know-it-alls who try to reduce admissions to some kind of prescriptive formula–“oh, you have to be a superstar champion, a legacy donor, or URM…and that’s why my kid didn’t get in.” I suspect that outside observers exaggerate the effect of the “hooks” and and undervalue the power of making a compelling case through carefully crafted essays and recs and thinking carefully about institutional fit…At least I hope so. At the end of the day, that’s all we in unhooked masses can do.
Sounds like your son is thriving. Be glad for that and don’t fret too much about his lack of hooks. In terms of lifelong reward, I think doing sports he enjoys is far more valuable for character than a superficial hook determined by birth. He has lots going for him as an applicant too. Pick a range of target schools where he can be happy, do your due diligence, and trust things will probably work out somewhere…If that doesn’t happen to be one of the prestigious dream schools, so what? The important thing is to get an education of mind and character, and a great one can be attained at many places.
Caveat: I too am a parent at the front end of this mysterious process. Zero experience. I am just sharing how I am coping with similar scenario. Ask me a year from now and I will have a better idea of how this strategy panned out. For now, I am going to steal a line from a prayer–grant me the serenity to accept being unhooked, the courage to do our best at what remains within our control, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Beautifully succinct summation. :). Yes.
@skieurope thank you for your thoughts and concise points. Yes, my son is not the tippy top of athletes from his school and does not have interest in doing his sport in college. Many don’t understand that it is 97-98% of athletes not recruited. My daughter had hooks - international and national awards in her ECs and that stood out. My son is a different person…so yes, we think the essays and his recs will be important. He is definitely applying to some targets - SMU, SLO and another couple. But, the hopes are that one of his reaches may come through. Thank you all for your thoughts and its nice to see so many in a similar boat - a child doing sports and the commitment, effort and passion - and still keeping up academics, etc. I know they all end up in a place that they will be happy (or most). I saw this process work for my daughter, but her path was not sports so very different.
@sahmkc yes, i have seen the Valedictorians of my other childs class not do so good in the college process. I believe in their case (and i know it is not all), they thought they had Ivy/Ivy-likes in the bag. They did alot of things “for college” - just participated, but nothing above and beyond and it almost seemed like doing things to check the box. Very interesting because after applying to 15 schools got only into about 5…and I think this was a reality check. Valedictorian is amazing (I can’t even imagine getting that), but there are alot of other things that go along with being top of your class academically.
@LvMyKids2 , your son looks exactly like my son – two sports year around, good GPA and test scores, rigorous classes. My team have a couple new hires from Cornell University. When I showed them my son’s resume, both of them commented that “It’s not enough. Everyone does HS varsity sports. Everyone has high GPA and test scores. Your son need to enter state or national contests and win some awards.” Oh well, that seems to be the reality. He’ll try a few crapshoot at the top schools, but he’ll be happy if he ends up at our state flagship U. Stay tuned, we’ll know in a few months.
OK I’ll say it, ED and full pay $$$ will increase the chances if that is an option, although no guarantees.
ED would increase chances.
Being full-pay wouldn’t at the (top tier) need-blind schools, though there are plenty of schools that aren’t need-blind.
@elguapo1 well, lucky enough (or maybe not lucky) we are full pay. he may do an ED…it will just depend on him figuring out if that is for him. Thank you for your comment!
This article is interesting: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bev-taylor/need-blind-admissions-is-_b_5615698.html
I did notice that the Ivy’s all ask “Do you plan to apply for financial aid” in their Common App supplemental questions.
And anecdotally, some of my neighbors’ kids went to Stanford, Yale, Duke, Northwestern, MIT, etc. without national awards, and they were all full pay. So @elguapo1 may be revealing a real secret …
BTW, besides the “need blind is a lie” assertion, which highly ranked colleges mark themselves as non-need-blind?
@bogeyorpar I would be interested in that too? I am not sure about USC in California, but I do know many say its where rich kids go…so are they need aware?