Sr Girl more than a little "Girl Gone Wild"

<p>Perhaps some of you have some suggestions for pretty lousy situation. My almost 18 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADD a couple of years and has been on downward spiral. We had a difficult year during her junior year (truancy,drugs, theft (in the house), etc and she spent a good amount of time grounded, or with other restrictions (no car, etc). She somehow made it thorough with a cummulative 3.0 gpa (school doesn't weight) and 28 ACT. </p>

<p>Come last May, she decided that she didn't like all the restrictions, and moved to her dad's who believes she needs to take responsibilty for her actions. Good in theory, not so good in reality-Dad works long hours far away and her problems have really multiplied-dad is slowly realizing that letting her bottom out may have some pretty tragic consequence. We have been to court and basically, there is not much anyone is going to do for a kid who is 18 in 5 weeks. She really needs intervention but unless both parents are on the same page, nothing will happen...couple that with an impending birthday, it is kind of like watching your kid fall off a cliff.</p>

<p>She says she wants to go to college and has dashed off a couple of applications-no essay necessary. I will be fully financing college. However, it is pretty obvious that unless there is a huge improvement in her behavior, she will not last a semester. (H.S. graduation is kind of iffy at this point but I am hopeful.). Seems like an obvious choice would be a community college for a couple years but she has started hanging out with the group of never went to college burn-outs and she is one kid who needs to get out of Dodge. I was wondering if there are any 2 year colleges that have dorms (I looked at Paul Smiths) or any school that keep a tight lid on partying. I would even consider a 13th year somewhere, some kid of gap year program (Israel?) or Americorp.</p>

<p>She is a very bright kid and is always a good contributor in class, when she goes. In theory, she would flourish at a small lac but she does not think consequentially, and does not make the kind of judgments you need to succeed.</p>

<p>I have heard great things about the Oakley School in Utah.</p>

<p>I think something like americorps- some place where you get involved with the community outside yourself- and really can start to feel like you can make a difference would be optimal but she would have to be in a place where she could benefit from it </p>

<p>Is she on medication for her ADD?
My kids are both on Strattera- which isn't a controlled substance- she needs to learn how to manage her ADD or at least be working with a coach who will help her do that.</p>

<p>She is both straterra and adderall and has been in therapy for a couple of years.</p>

<p>Take a look at Dean College (in Franklin MA) and see if that is along the lines of what you are looking for.</p>

<p>Look into Potomac State College in West Virginia, a 2-year school. A young girl I know from New England with similar issues is thriving there.</p>

<p>She is too close to 18 for Oakley. She would have to be totally willing to do over a year program there.</p>

<p>Not sure where you live, and what schools exist near you. As much as you'd like to get her away from some poor choice of friends, best if she stays close. This way, you'll be able to monitor, and she'll have access to her therapists. Possibly a job and 2-3 classes would be a start.</p>

<p>This sounds very similar to what a friend went through with son. He did start college but was out in a semester due to failing grades--never went to class and partied constantly. His problems in high school --theft from family, DUI, drugs, very poor choice in friends. He ended up in rehab in Arizona, but they did check out a college in Oregon or Washington (can't remember which) that sounded great for students with these problems (it was determined that his addiction was too great for him at this point to pursue school without rehab first).</p>

<p>Perhaps some of the CCers on here know of what school that might be. Friend is away right now, if I can get name of school, I'll post back.</p>

<p>Evergreen State in WA perhaps?</p>

<p>Evergreen is one school she applied to-but I think she needs more structure, not less-I will check out the other options.</p>

<p>
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She really needs intervention but unless both parents are on the same page, nothing will happen.

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<p>Have you considered or tried family therapy?</p>

<p>The Navy runs a great program at Great Lakes. Yeah, it's northern mid-west, but they'll transport you from anywhere in the country.</p>

<p>636</p>

<p>Dad won't go to therapy...has been recommended over and over</p>

<p>Beansmom, I'm so sorry for your heartache. You mentioned that your daughter has been in therapy--have you asked her therapist what next step he/she would recommend?</p>

<p>It sounds like a residential program--a sort of boarding school for kids who are not ready for college for a variety of reasons--may be what she needs.</p>

<p>Good luck to you.</p>

<p>For somebody who is bright, needs structure, and needs to grow up a little I'd suggest the military. Air Force or Navy would be my choices at this point; Army is too risky because of the mess in Iraq. I know that Navy and AF are there too, but their missions are different, so the kids' odds of being near the front lines are lower. You could even look at the Coast Guard; my nephew had many of the same issues, barely graduated, had some drug/alcohol scrapes and he enlisted and is thriving there. THey are picky though--it's the toughest branch of the service to get into.</p>

<p>She would never join the military-but Ameriicorps NCCC has a structure format-at least it sounds like it on the website. I would love to hear if anyone has any experience with that organization or any other gap year kind of program that would give her a little space to grow up and get focused.</p>

<p>The Princeton Review publishes a reference book called "The K&W Guide to Colleges for Students with Learning Disabilities or Attention Deficit Disorder". It lists hundreds of colleges and gives detialed information on what they offer. I first saw it at a book store but your library may have it.</p>

<p>If you can afford $2600, I would highly recommend a professional college counselor from IECA <a href="http://www.educationalconsulting.org/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.educationalconsulting.org/&lt;/a> to help you find a good match for your daughter--and to help you guide her to that match. As momofrower indicates, there are a number of schools with a strong therapeutic component and a good counselor will know which one will suit. Also, they might recommend and help you place her into a fifth year boarding school--bascially a fifth year residential program to help her sort out her issues and discipline BEFORE she gets to college. I have seen this solution work very well for four students that I know.</p>

<p>If you would like the name of the counselor who did that placement, send me a pm.</p>

<p>The son of a friend of mine did City Corps and loved it. He came back from the other coast, finished getting his AA degree, then joined the Marines. He really enjoyed the structure and camaraderie of City Corps, which led him to try to find that again in the military.</p>