Stanford Parents Thread

<p>Dear Admissions Officer,</p>

<p>The long forced march of college applications, fretful waiting and difficult choices has come to a happy conclusion for my son and me. It was my first time through the wringer, and it was a bit unnerving to find myself so near the epicenter of the helicopter parent-tiger mother-Ivy or bust debate: that is, to see private experience through the wrong end of the telescope. If the stress on admissions officers is even some small fraction of the sum we endured – as it must be – you have my sincere sympathy and admiration. I am glad I will not have to face it again for a while. </p>

<p>My son was denied admission to the SU class of 2015, but admitted to many other fine schools – U. of Chicago, seven of the Ivies, Swarthmore, Hopkins, etc. – and in the end chose between Yale and Harvard. We understand how he could be passed over by Stanford Admissions even with his extraordinary record of accomplishment – that is, after all, your nearly impossible task, to choose between thousands of high achievers. What confused and alarmed and eventually cost us thousands of dollars in additional applications and College Board vigorish was his denial in December. It remains very difficult to understand how he could not have been worthy of the ‘maybe’ or ‘decision deferred’ pile.</p>

<p>‘What does it matter?’ you might ask, and the answer is probably not much, and indeed I would not write except that at my son’s high school senior award ceremony a counselor came up to me and told me the following story. She was working on college applications with a highly recruited athlete when this young man – the California state record holder in his track and field event – heard that my son had been denied admission by SU. “If they won’t take him (my son), I don’t want to go there” he said, and refused to submit his application. Now if I had known this at the time I would have thanked the young man for the implicit compliment to my son, and then along with his counselor done everything in my power to change his mind. This scholar-athlete had the grades and scores to go anywhere, but such is the nature of adolescent friendship that he turned his back on SU and ended up at another PAC 10 university. As for my son’s other close friends who were denied SU admission in December, they will matriculate at Princeton, MIT, Columbia and Yale.</p>

<p>Am I saying someone made a mistake? I have no basis to know, but it does seem that the eye of the SCEA needle was exceedingly small this time around.</p>

<p>I hope you will forgive me for signing this with a nom de net: my daughter will apply to SU in 2014.</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

<p>M. Frenhofer</p>

<p>Wow, I hope that was cathartic for you, frenhofer, but really–large numbers of uber-qualified candidates get turned down at each of the top colleges every year, and of course large numbers of those candidates are also admitted to each. I’m sure your son will be very happy where he matriculates.</p>

<p>I’ve heard that its fairly uncommon, not to say that it doesn’t happen, for kids to get into both Stanford and Harvard. Apparently it easier to get into one of the schools, as long as you don’t apply to the other. Because of the common app the schools can see all the places one applies to and the basic rule of thumb is that Stanford and Harvard don’t ‘usually’ take the same kids. I wouldn’t take it personal. And hopefully like zenokoan said perhaps writing that letter made you feel better. I hope so especially since all of his choices were apparently awesome. Good Luck</p>

<p>I don’t know about that, Dungareedoll; there are significant numbers of Stanford-Harvard cross-admits each year. It may be true that students admitted SCEA to Stanford may be admitted to Harvard RD a little less often, since an SCEA application contains an attestation that the SCEA school is the applicant’s first choice. I’ve never seen any data on that, but I wouldn’t be very surprised if that were the case. Overall I think it’s good for all of the top schools that Harvard and Princeton are joining Stanford and Yale with SCEA next year, because it should cause applicants to think more carefully about which, if any, of these is their genuine first choice. If they don’t have a strong first choice, it’s probably best to apply early to a few EA schools that aren’t single-choice, and then the rest RD. Just my opinion.</p>

<p>Frenhofer, while I understand your frustration with the seemingly randomness of the admission process, I encourage you to think of this process in an entirely different light. The admission people at Stanford, and all other highly selective colleges and universities, are charged not with evaluating each applicant as a unique individual, but with assembling a class. Stanford, if it wanted to, could fill the entire class with valedictorians with perfect 4.0 GPAs and 2400 SAT scores. But it wouldn’t make a very healthy class, and it certainly would hinder the university in its core mission. Stanford, like all schools, needs tuba players for band, track & field stars, singers, chess players, and rocket scientists. Perhaps, during the SECA round, your son, as accomplished as he is, simply didn’t fulfill one of their needs at that time.</p>

<p>As a parent, we feel for our child who has accomplished much, worked hard, and played by the rules. It is natural to feel that he is entitled to “the brass ring”, and the rejection of him stings as much or more for us as for him. I encourage you to look at not what could have been, but what will be. I guarantee that when he arrives at either Cambridge or New Haven (it was unclear to me what his final choice was) that he will not be thinking about Palo Alto. He is probably very excited about the future opportunities at either Harvard or Yale. You should be too. Celebrate his accomplishments. Embrace his future, and don’t waste precious time and energy thinking about the pothole that he hit on the admissions road to his ultimate destination.</p>

<p>I think a careful reading of my post will show that I was puzzled not by Jr’s denial, but that the denial occurred in December, that my son didn’t even make the ‘maybe’ pile. Could SU really know if a better tuba or chess player or rocket scientist would come along on the regular application date? The point was that this fast-track rejection ultimately cost Stanford a superb athlete because they in effect ‘called’ the election before the polls closed. Jr. is headed to his first choice college with enough aid and merit scholarships to make it cheaper than keeping him home, so everybody’s happy.</p>

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<p>No, but when they do SCEA decisions, they make them with certainty. Thus, if someone is denied SCEA, they are certain that he/she would not be admitted in the RD round. Perhaps your son was simply not a match for Stanford or its criteria in the admissions officers’ eyes. Either way, you seem to prefer that your son be deferred, but that would have just been cruel; Stanford would not have admitted him RD, and thus he’d be led along falsely for a few months. Stanford admissions is committed to giving as many SCEA applicants a final word as possible. And you’d still have had to apply to all those schools if he were put in this ‘maybe’ pile. By the way, it “cost [you] thousands of dollars in additional applications” because you chose to apply to that many schools. I think most would agree that it’s overkill to apply to 7 of the 8 Ivies.</p>

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<p>Two things: it only ‘cost’ Stanford that athlete if he would have even been admitted, and the reality is that Stanford has plenty of other qualified athletes, so it’s not exactly hurt. And for another, his reason for not applying to Stanford is unclear; if it was because he was ‘mad’ that your son didn’t get in, then that was very petty and he hurt himself more than he hurt Stanford by depriving himself of the opportunity. If it was because he perceived it to be too selective for him to get in, then he followed the same reasoning that thousands of other students have when they choose not to apply to super-selective schools (but he still hurt himself, because the only way to ensure rejection is to not apply). If you really think he would have been admitted, then why didn’t he apply to other super-selective schools? I assume he didn’t because he’s at another Pac-12 school.</p>

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<p>How is Jr. receiving “merit scholarships” for Harvard or Yale, neither of which offer them? Just wondering.</p>

<p>He received a Nat’l Merit Scholarship to use anywhere and three renewable scholarships from foundations and a union. Thank you all for your insights. I’m moving on. zenkoan I notice you’ve posted 785 times. Is this some sort of 1000-step treatment program for you?</p>

<p>Goodbye and thanks again.</p>

<p>Phantas… We applied to so many schools (11) because we were alarmed when Jr. was denied by SU. We thought maybe things were even more cutthroat than we had imagined or that our boy was not as attractive a candidate as he seemed to his teachers and counselors, so we figured we had to cast our bread upon the water. In any case, all’s well that ends well. </p>

<p>The athlete didn’t apply to the Ivies (for example) because he wanted to compete in Division 1. (He’s Olympic caliber. )He’s at a fine school but I will not ‘out’ him here. </p>

<p>I’m really gone now. Thanks again to all.</p>

<p>Merit scholarships are scholarship by the schools. You are referring to outside scholarships. </p>

<p>And actually Zenkoan offers incredible advice and help to this forum, we’re all glad he’s here. No offense, but you seem quite bitter. He didn’t get in, so why mull on that note?</p>

<p>And that’s a stupid choice that the athlete met. Every single accepted student I met at Admit Weekend was amazing in a unique way… They cant’ accept everyone, so they make choices. I was not disappointed with any of the people I met.</p>

<p>Yes, there’s no point paying frenhofer much attention. Parents periodically register just to post threads on the Stanford forum subtly demanding to know why their little angel didn’t get in and pretending that it’s not bothering them.</p>

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<p>Exactly.</p>

<p>frenhofer, I guess from your snarky comment you thought I was a parent. That’s understandable, since this is the parents’ thread and you are new here. I’m a Stanford student, and was a National Merit Scholar myself, actually, as are many students here. When you mentioned “merit scholarships” making it “cheaper” to go somewhere, I didn’t think you could mean NMS, since it’s only a one-time $2500 award at Stanford and the Ivies. I’m glad to have had it, but it didn’t have a big impact on college costs, that’s for sure. Anyway, best of luck to you and your family.</p>

<p>Just to set the record straight - the Ivies play Div I for all sports except football (the Ivies are in the football championship division previously known as Div IAA). Being a track and field athlete, this young man would have played on the Div I level had he chosen an Ivy League school. What the Ivies don’t offer is athletic scholarships. They only offer need based scholarships which they liberally offer if the athlete is heavily recruited.</p>

<p>I agree with others on this forum that the young athlete in question only hurt himself by not applying to some of these schools. Something deterred him from not applying. Perhaps his stats in the classroom were not as good as some believed.</p>

<p>I understand that Stanford has a few banks on campus. I was told there is the Stanford federal Union, Bank of America and one other, which I can’t remember. In any case, is there one thats better than the other. I was thinking of opening an account with Bank of America, which we have here in NY so he doesn’t get hit with any atm charges every time he goes to withdraw. </p>

<p>Is that better than waiting to get there and open an account at the Stanford federal union bank? Is there one bank with more of a presence on the campus than the others? Any particular perks at one bank over the other?</p>

<p>^ I think the third one is Wells Fargo. I can say that Bank of America is by far the best option. Not only does it have ATMs everywhere (all over the US, so no fees), but their ATMs are more advanced - touch screens, extremely easy depositing/withdrawing, etc. Bank of America also has student accounts (I vaguely remember hearing they stopped doing them, but mine hasn’t changed) - which include perks like a “freebie” overdraft, just in case.</p>

<p>I’d really recommend using Bank of America over others, if just because of the convenience.</p>

<p>Yes, you’re right it is Wells Fargo now that you mention it. I’m definitely going to open up an account with Bank of America. I’m glad you agree that thats the way to go. </p>

<p>Thanks for your help as always!</p>

<p>Wells Fargo and Stanford Federal Credit Union have full service branches plus a bunch of ATMs on campus. Unless I am mistaken, Bank of America only has ATMs. We had our D open accounts at Wells because we wanted her to be able to go into the branch if she needed help. She has been very happy. She also opened an account at the credit union.</p>

<p>^ it’s true that Bank of America has only an ATM, but actual BOA branches exist just off campus (downtown or on El Camino), a short bike ride away; in my entire undergraduate career, I’ve only had to go to the full-service branch once. I like BOA because I’m able to find ATMs anywhere in the Bay Area, San Francisco, even Santa Cruz. When I go home, when I drive anywhere in California, when I visit the East Coast - always there’s an ATM for BOA. Plus depositing money and checks into their ATMs is fun :)</p>

<p>Also because BOA is a huge bank, they have lots of cool features (not sure whether others have it) - like automatic notification by phone or email when your balance drops below a certain level, easy transfers in online banking, and ‘keep the change,’ wherein every time you use your card, it rounds up to the dollar and puts the ‘change’ into your savings account (you can rack up a lot of money that way).</p>

<p>Okay so those are the perks for BoA how about Wells Fargo and Stanford federal credit union? Can anyone speak to the fees etc that those banks have?</p>