<p>D had a less than stellar year at a state university. She now wants to go to school closer to home, somewhere in the Saint Louis area. Due to having a not great freshman year, the better schools are out. The most likely candidates at this point are Webster, UMSL, or community college. I have not heard very good things about Webster, except for performing arts. I have never thought of UMSL as being exactly prestigious either, although I do know an executive in a large company with an UMSL degree. I am also a little concerned about the area around UMSL. CC is an option, but I'm not sure if that will improve the situation much when she needs to transfer again. Any thoughts on these schools? She is majoring in the visual arts, although I'm wondering if that is the right program for her.</p>
<p>My sister and her boyfriend both had bad experiences at UMSL - not really from the standpoint of poor instruction, but terrible office administration - anything administrative was either not done at alll, or was done with a terrible attitude after standing in long lines and begging. And they were in their 30s/40s at the time (thus were not timid.)</p>
<p>I don’t think you have that many options in the St. Louis area if St Louis U. is out. I’d put Webster on an equal footing with the other private schools in the area.</p>
<p>If she doesn’t mind being two hours away, I think Columbia College (main campus, in Columbia) may be just as good an option as Webster or the other St. Louis options.</p>
<p>How about taking a year away from school and then starting over? Perhaps a year of experience will make it easier to transition to college away from home.</p>
<p>EDIT: I know some states have pretty good community colleges, but I’m not convinced MO is one of them. My brother is sending his kids on that route, so we shall see, but so far I’m not impressed.</p>
<p>Freshman year was not bad enough to get her put on probation, but was bad enough to prevent her from taking sophomore level design courses. First semester was just over 3.0, second semester was just over 2.0 and had one dropped class. Since she can’t continue the classes in her major, I have no reason to push her to stay there.</p>
<p>I have suggested taking a year off as an option, but she doesn’t seem interested. She says she wants to stay in school, but her first year was “too hard”. She was not at a top-rated state university and she dropped PE for goodness sakes! </p>
<p>I think anything in Columbia, MO is probably out. She really wants to be in STL where boyfriend is. Although she insists he is not the reason for any of this.</p>
<p>AdvMom- if it were me (easy enough to say) I’d need a little more context around “too hard” and what went wrong before I rushed in with a solution. Was she poorly prepared for college? Picked the wrong classes, or got assigned to the wrong level? Didn’t go to class or ask for help when she realized she was falling behind? Did she try to get help and found the U’s resources inadequate? Or not try to get help? Or too much socializing?</p>
<p>There are lots of reasons for the 2.0 but until you know what they are, figuring out the next best step for her is going to be tricky, or a waste of time and money, or just not worth the bother.</p>
<p>Sometimes kids can take a rocky first year and learn from their mistakes and really turn things around. Sometimes it’s a big wake-up call that college isn’t HS with no hall monitors or curfews. And sometimes kids figure that if they transfer, they will magically be able to pull B’s without going to class, doing all their work, going to office hours and meeting with the TA if they need extra help, etc. Probably not going to happen.</p>
<p>"reshman year was not bad enough to get her put on probation, but was bad enough to prevent her from taking sophomore level design courses. First semester was just over 3.0, second semester was just over 2.0 and had one dropped class. Since she can’t continue the classes in her major, I have no reason to push her to stay there.</p>
<p>That 2.0 and being unable to continue in her preferred major would be enough for me to put the student in community college until she proves that she has the ability to get good grades. The falling gpa is of great concern to me.</p>
<p>If you figure out what caused the low grades and that the causes are not insurmountable, could she transfer to McKendree, perhaps after a summer at CC with high grades? I don’t know what they require for transfer admissions. </p>
<p>I agree with Northstarmom- it would be good to see some cc classes with high grades before investing any more in tuition at a four-year college.</p>
<p>These were your standard art foundation and freshman level gen ed courses. None of these were the hard weedout courses. She is more than capable of getting at least a B in all of the courses she has taken. Her father and I are convinced that she spent way too many hours either on the phone with the BF or driving back and forth on weekends to see him. He does not go to school, so has no problem spending this much time talking to and seeing her. She swears he had nothing to do with her low grades, but its obvious from phone bills and the trips home that very little time was spent studying and working on projects.</p>
<p>She was the one who suggested Webster, which is pretty close to home. I suggested community college. I think our local CC is considered pretty decent. Her dad suggested UMSL so she would be at a four year school and its considerably cheaper than Webster. It would be a much longer commute than Webster or CC. </p>
<p>I am not opposed to school’s like Columbia or McKendree. I can suggest them, but for the short term she is not willing to look outside Saint Louis. This is ironic since she originally wanted to go far away to college. Now she only wants to be close to home.</p>
<p>Based on what you’ve posted, I suggest community college. Seems she’s not taking responsibility for her low grades. Why should you pay big bucks for her to goof off? If she does well in community college, let her go to whatever college she chooses that you can afford.</p>
<p>By any chance are the colleges she’s considering closer to her boyfriend?</p>
<p>She says she like STL better than the college town, but dad and I are convinced it is because BF lives in the STL area. So she would be spending more time with BF, and potentially making the situation worse, not better.</p>
<p>I think it is a problem that the bf is not a student, but you can’t do anything about that. </p>
<p>As you no doubt know, there is a pretty well-defined articulation agreement between the community colleges and the public universities in MO, so that is probably the best option of those that are on the plate. (Other than daughter taking a year away from school, which I think is the best option here.) If she decides to get serious about school, she can transfer many of the cc courses to any public in MO, and probably to Webster as well.</p>
<p>I sure wouldn’t pay for any type of school, when there is no sense of direction, other than BF. However, she would have to work at one of those minimum wage jobs hat they all hate, and pay rent, etc. Hopefully, that would make her turn around and see the need for an education.</p>
<p>First, my sympathies. Not fun. That said, I took a look at some back threads you started. It would be pretty fair to say you’ve been through the wringer this year. Oh, first to get everyone up to speed (Readers’ Digest condensed version).</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Daughter wanted to work straight out of high school, she wanted to be a tattoo artist. Parents wanted her to go college track believing it would give her better options and would be advisable path before first getting a job. </p></li>
<li><p>Much debate about whether to allow daughter to take car to college or not, worried about abusing it by frequent trips back to see boyfriend. </p></li>
<li><p>Not good grades first term followed by 1.5 average by midterm second term marks. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>I was surprised at some of the harsh suggestions you received as to how to deal with your daughter in the other thread. Now, I’m not so sure. To be candid, suggestions about not letting your daughter have a car went unheeded and why she has a cellphone that you are paying for her to call her boyfriend are a bit mystifying. Seems like you were afraid of fire, yet paid for the gas and matches. Still, no need to dwell on this as I don’t think they are core to the issue. </p>
<p>I also wouldn’t be so hard on the boyfriend. Neither the BF nor your daughter attended college but at least he doesn’t have the bills to show for it. I’m sure we all can agree that as she isn’t being allowed to continue in her major and has virtually no shot of getting it back to continue as a junior, she needs to move on. At this point, I’m not sure whether your daughter has learned her lesson or she is merely teaching you one. My guess is that she simply was talked into a plan that she didn’t commit to. </p>
<p>Letting her go to a CC … I don’t know what that accomplishes other than allowing her to hang with her boyfriend for the next year while you imagine it will be toward some positive result. </p>
<p>At this point, I’d let her get a job and experience that reality. I would kill the credit card and put the phone bill in her name. She can get a debit card from her bank. I’d have her pay per-mile use on the car at a rate that will pay for repairs and preventive maintenance and she can pay for the gas herself. If she is going to live at home, I would have her pay for use of her room and food expenses. Time for tough love.</p>
<p>Gosh, I feel for you. To me it sounds like your daughter never really made the mental commitment to attending a college. She went without any kind of investment, intellectually and financially I’m guessing. I think it admirable that you continue to try to prop her up to get a college degree, as most parents would, but really, does she want that? Did she ever want (a college degree.) At this point, I’d be wondering what kind of attitude the boyfriend has regarding your d’s college education. Is he doing something future focussed or living in the moment?</p>
<p>We visited schools throughout the midwest including public, private, and art schools. She is the one that chose the state U. While she had no financial investment in it, she should have had some sort of personal commitment to the school she chose.</p>
<p>Many of the other issues with her are already being dealt with. She has been told that the free ride has stopped. There are some costs we are still willing to pay as long as she goes to school, but not all that we have been paying for. And she has been told she will pay for everything if she is not a student, including rent if she continues to live at home.</p>
<p>While the BF doesn’t appear to show much ambition, that is for his parents to deal with.</p>
<p>Sounds like you have a direction. Maybe put a reasonable GPA restriction on for next year that’s attainable and reasonable. Too bad about the BF and you are correct that it’s his parents’ problem, but his 'tude undoubtedly has some level of influence on your D.
I wish you good luck in the search.</p>