<p>Hey guys, </p>
<p>Basically, I've been trying to decide if I should transfer from Duke to USC (Southern California) for...well the past semester (took a semester off from school). Before you ask why, it really is kind of a long personal story, and if you have the patience to read through it, I would be immensely grateful. I really only have 1 day left to decide; I've been binge eating and sleep-deprived and would really appreciate the support. </p>
<p>We can’t follow that link! Also, why do you only have one day? The travel distance between the two schools is huge, don’t you have plane tickets to one or the other??</p>
<p>Not having read the blog, and as long as personal safety is not an issue, I’d recommend staying the course.</p>
<p>If personal safety or health is at issue, requesting leave would be an option. Similar considerations would apply if finances have changed.</p>
<p>However, I’d suggest that a precipitous, mid-year change of college at the last possible moment is not the way to go, unless that change addresses issues mentioned above.</p>
<p>Ahh, sorry guys. My url had an inappropriate/censored word in it. I guess mental/psychological health is an issue to an extent. Here’s the story:</p>
<p>"So this is straight up, what my life has been for the past two years. I have no idea why I’m typing this out here, but I just know that I need to get it all out. This is long as hell, but if you have time to kill…</p>
<p>I guess it all started at the end of high school. College was something I’d yearned for, and finally, when decisions came around, I had something to brag about. Getting into Duke was unexpected, and for a while, I felt like I was walking on air. When I finally made that flight to NC for Blue Devil Days, I thought nothing could go wrong. Then I drove past the expanse of trees, walked onto campus with the Gothic architecture and looked around at the mass of preppy kids. As i talked to more prospective freshmen and the day dragged on, this sinking feeling finally caved in…this was nothing like I expected, and I kind of hated it. Of course, I thought I was crazy. Kids were trying to convince their parents to pay the hefty price tag while I just couldn’t seem to see the beauty in all those dark trees. The few weeks that followed, long story short, I actually still ended up picking Duke. First impressions were nothing right? Plus the money I was getting for that first year was incomparable. </p>
<p>Summer came and left, and finally, college was starting. The beginning was alright, slow, but with so many new changes, it wasn’t bad yet. Nothing was like I’d expected though…I was thinking open minded, accepting students, possibility of making friends everywhere, state school-status parties, and challenging but interesting classes. I found myself dining with people I didn’t even like much, cliques forming quickly, everyone sticking to their own race, difficult weed-out intro classes that killed your interest in a subject, and being crammed into hallways with cheap beer that ran out quickly. When I went home for break and caught up with my best friends that stayed in SoCal, I envied their stories and their happy new lives.</p>
<p>I returned for second semester, determined that things would improve. It didn’t. Greek rush sucked. My best friend turned out to be a pathological liar. My roommate spent nights telling me about how much she hated her sorority. We sat in the darkness of our room, confiding in one another and smoking a few bowls. I was so unhappy and lonely; I even grew apart with the friends I didn’t like. Orgo was terrible, and the rain, the everlasting grey gloom that wouldn’t even turn to snow 90% of the time knocked on our window night after night, begging for entrance, drowning my soul. With no social life, a dying academic life, and difficulties with friendships, I attended random events for clubs but overall, disinterested, I even sought counseling. Then in April, the sun finally came out. My spirits lifted a bit in that last month, with the end clearly in sight, I could finally wear shorts, and in the midst of all those people I didn’t care for, I found a few who were genuine friends. Still, when I stepped off campus that morning in May, I didn’t know if I would ever want to come back. I carefully packed or threw away every little thing, leaving nothing in storage.</p>
<p>Somewhere in that second semester, I did send in a transfer application to USC. It wasn’t my first or even second choice school, but UCs wouldn’t accept sophomores and my performance in that dismal first year ruled out private colleges that needed letters of rec, plus the thought of going home was relieving. I left for Europe that summer for study abroad and returned home to a fat red envelope on my kitchen counter, welcoming me into the Trojan family. When I was younger, I never even considered going to USC. With three family members having matriculated there, you’d think being an almost triple-legacy would at least rule it into my college list, yet my mother never thought her alma mater was good enough for her daughters. Flipping through that sunny packet with dates and deadlines and pictures of happy students, I didn’t know what to think either. At that time, college was still a couple months away. So I’ll go back to Duke, I thought. It’s not a big deal. I can suck it up.</p>
<p>With the intention of giving it another semester, I flew back to Duke at the end of that summer, but not before deferring my admission to USC for a semester. Landing in NC, I couldn’t even manage a smile at my sister who drove down from Baltimore to pick me up. As we drove closer and closer to campus, my palms grew sweaty, my heart quickened, and frankly, I was scared as hell. Nothing was ever welcoming about returning to Duke. As i trudged onto campus and into my new dorm room, I briefly said hello to my new roommate. I walked back and forth from the bathroom into our room, trying to hide the tears that were fighting their way through. Taking out my phone, I remember texting my friend, “I should’ve just gone to USC.” Duke did nothing wrong. Duke simply sat there, in all its Gothic majesty, with its welcome back signs and manicured roads, but whatever was in my head made me sad as hell. I didn’t even know how I could get through that first night. Maybe it was all in my head, but I couldn’t seem to separate the bad memories of the past from the physical existence that was Duke. I had nothing together, literally nothing. I didn’t know what classes to take, what direction my studies were taking me, I had already used a withdrawal during my freshman year, and the reality that I had to pick up my feet and walk into actual classes in 48 hours was overwhelming. So I broke down. Talked to my dean the next morning, explained how I felt, and she encouraged me to take time off.</p>
<p>Thus began my gap semester. I had such grandiose plans in the beginning—I would travel here, and then here, talk to travelers and gain all this amazing insight about life. But, as the theme of my life has gone, nothing went as expected. Coming out of my gap semester, I did realize that I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to move forwards, I wanted to be successful. I realized, after living in a small town, that I could never live like them. Struggling from paycheck to paycheck, with success determined by the seasons, washing dishes in a dingy cafe—I was better than that, I knew I was. And I could never be in an isolated, rural environment because I would feel trapped and imprisoned before long. Textbooks and essays—I think I was ready to go back to that.</p>
<p>But where? And that’s where I sit now, at a crossroads again, between Duke and USC. I don’t love either school, and neither are perfect matches, but I want to make the best of either situation. I like LA but am scared that USC is “Duke but on the west coast”, as some have mentioned. A fresh start or fixing something old? Letting go of my pride and prestige for the chance but NOT the guarantee of happiness?</p>
<p>Time’s ticking, it’s been ticking for weeks now. My flight to NC is tomorrow, USC’s orientation is on Tuesday, and I’m still confused. I want to close my eyes, let some external power decide my fate, and wake up in a month, ready to continue on in that life, no matter where it is. I just want it to be over, I really do.</p>
<p>There’s no more time for indecisions and revisions. It’s now…now or never and it’s damn time to let go. "</p>
<p>Quite frankly it seems like you got unrealistic expectations about college (duke) and life (gap semester) too.</p>
<p>I would tell you to goto USC with the expectation that you won’t make any different friends here in LA nor will you feel the academics will be better, simply that the weather is nicer and to be happy in that fact alone. Obviously if you do make friends or you do like the academics better consider that a perk. Basically don’t come to USC and get depressed all over again from unrealistic expectations.</p>
<p>Do you need the support of family and friends being close by? Maybe you will do better knowing you can be with them easily if you are close to home. The weather might be part of the problem - gloomy winters have a negative affect on moods. However, that can’t be all of it. I would recommend you look into getting some counseling whichever school you choose.</p>
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<p>So we’re to believe that you are registered to attend both schools and sometime tomorrow you will make the momentous decision? Very dramatic, but not particularly believable.</p>
<p>Dude get yourself together and be a realist, life doesnt always go as planned, hell my high school gpa isnt passing and i got accepted to a cc ranked 4 in the nation. Youre in duke make the best of it things wont be much different in cali. You should try studying harder or change your major, even a study session with whatever friends you have left can help. You seem to.be the issue socially you dismiss anyone who isnt to your liking then complain about being alone and stop being so melodramatic all you need is that 1 special person not a group of friends, you’ll find out soon enough friends turn to foes and all you have left is yourself and family. All in all smoke, drink, study, have sex and explore dont micromanage every detail in life</p>