<p>I have a weird relationship with my family. I live with my mother, father, and grandmother (I have no siblings). I get along very well with my mother, but I have more issues with my father and grandmother. My father has no sense of sympathy, and has frequently accused me of putting on an act when I cry. We disagree a lot, and he is extremely inflexible. I have never seen him cry or be sad, only angry and "well the world's a 1950s sitcom let's all be happy". He's also very pushy.
My grandmother is another piece of work. She is at times a very angry person (she hurls insults a lot, we had house-cleaners quit on us because her), and other times she is completely oblivious and acts like a Disney show for 4-year-olds. She is homophobic, racist, and is at times pretty air-headed (she believes that putting silver spoons in water and drinking that water cures stomach problems). She broke her foot on my birthday in my bedroom, so a good deal of my freshman year sucked because of her.
I am going to be a junior in the autumn, and this is really when our school makes us consider university choices. I live in a part of California near some great schools (I literally live less than 2 miles from Stanford), and love UC Berkeley right now (but I don't want to apply to Stanford for undergrad. My stats aren't up there) and there are some schools here that would be safeties.
Yet, with this family climate, I am considering bulking up my university list with farther-away universities. Especially NYU, Johns Hopkins, UCLA, or Mount Holyoke (I've gotten invitation letters from NYU and Mount Holyoke because of my standardized testing).
Here is my dilemma: I love UC Berkeley and the variety of classes but also the economic reality that I can really afford UC Berkeley by staying home and paying full tuition. But that is pretty much how much I can afford. If I were to go away, I don't know how much schools would offer me. My parents' salaries are considered pretty high, but we live paycheck-to-paycheck and have a lot of financial issues. So I would have to rely on scholarships and grants (I want very few loans, and I plan to major in economics and mathematics while minoring in a language). On the family side, if I were to stay here and go to a local school, I would have to deal with this situation. If I were to go somewhere else, I would have more freedom.
Advice? Has anyone here had a similar situation and if so how do you plan to/did you resolve it?
Thank you</p>
<p>If somebody could please respond, that would be awesome…</p>
<p>Definitely go somewhere else if you can.</p>
<p>What are your stats?</p>
<p>I’m no expert on this, but FAFSA usually accounts for debt and assets held. However, the Financial Aid forum has some real experts on this</p>
<p>Look into schools far away that will give you merit aid!</p>
<p>Merit aid generally is hard to get as you get further away.</p>
<p>However, Berkeley is possible to attend by yourself with a combination of loans, work and additional federal aid.</p>
<p>However, I am not convinced that your family situation is terrible. It seems like you are a typical teen in a typical family. Don’t just cut of your ties for something so inconsequential.</p>
<p>Are you’re stats truly not top-10 university caliber? Otherwise, you’ll have to focus on merit aid. And I agree, get away from your family if it’ll make you happy. You can still go to a school in CA if you live on campus? Otherwise there are plenty of great options across the nation, just be careful how you convince your family.</p>
<p>Damn that sucks. If I were in your situation I would try to go far as possible. Also, you dont need to go to a top 20 college as an undergrad. There are a ton of other choices that are just as good.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice
But long story short- I screwed up freshman year, so my GPA isn’t spectacular (but it’s improving). On a practice PSAT I got 192 (but that score is expected to increase to the 200-range, and we know how that translates into SAT.)
But by family standards I pretty much have to get into a good school. There is no way around it really. My dad is living vicariously through me, my mum expects a lot, and my grandma wants bragging rights. Then I’m also expected to go to a great grad school (which is my goal as well)
Reason I don’t want to pay for housing and go to a local school is because of cost. I don’t want to add $15k/year. My parents can afford UC Berkeley’s in-state tuition, so I would probably graduate debt-free (and then any debt would occur at grad school).
Thanks for the advice!</p>
<p>^Don’t panic.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>They are helping you pay for it, so don’t get too angry.</p></li>
<li><p>Bragging rights are cool. It means something, even if it is a little.</p></li>
<li><p>Don’t be so angry. These things are really inconsequential.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Also, do you know if you qualify for financial aid? Have you used a fin. aid calculator?</p>
<p>I believe I qualify for some. My parents’ estimated contribution is $15,000/year. But of course I feel insecure about the job market and want to go to grad school, so I want to steer away from loans as much as possible.</p>
<p>What schools will they provide aid for?</p>
<p>Top-25 US News? That’s not impossible for someone with your stats, especially with UCLA and Berkeley [Perhaps Stanford, which takes 50% of its incoming class from California]</p>
<p>Basically anything with a name (even thought they have said no to schools in New York City and also Vanderbilt).
Also- GPA UW 3.45 (3.686 this past semester)
UC system GPA 3.97</p>