<p>After all the effort involved in this, not to mention the opportunity of a lifetime (yes, I know it’s redundant), I’d have a hard time letting the chance go. </p>
<p>I read about your reservations - why not say, go to Exeter. If worse comes to worse and the child really cannot stand it/handle it/ etc., there is always the option of leaving. If your charter school is about to take a dive, that could happen while he’s attending that school, in which case he’d have to look for another school regardless. If he’s at Exeter, he already is somewhere he thought about being in the first place. </p>
<p>About the friends issue - eventually, this will happen anyway. I’ve seen a lot of other kids worry about the same thing at my kid’s school, and 99% of the time (nothing is ever perfect), they also move on. The only exception is their really close friends. Those students end up visiting eachother at their respective schools, etc. </p>
<p>Well sooner or later he will have to take a risk in life. Some of my favorite quotes from respectable people have to do with taking risks in life. I feel like putting him out of his comfort zone will help him for the future, and he probably won’t realize that till he gets to Exeter.</p>
<p>If I were you, I would go with Exeter. If it doesn’t work out, you can leave and have no regrets. But if you decide not to go, you would always wonder " What if it had worked out?‘’ I agree that it’s a once in a life time opportunity. Your son is very bright and Exeter will provide him with amazing opportunities. So many bright kids were turned down by Exeter. I believe they hand pick the kids after careful deliberation and the fact that they picked your son indicates that they think he is a good fit. As for the social part, all kids will go through a period of transition and adjustment. It is a risk but risk taking is what makes life worthwhile.
I am reminded of Robert Frost’s " The Road Not Taken". “Two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference”.</p>
<p>I agree with many of the other parents - go to Exeter and give it a try for at least a year. Then, if you decide to walk away, there will be no regrets. As a parent of a prep at Exeter, I can say that making friends as a boarding student is really pretty easy. I think that day students have the bigger challenge with fitting into the groove of the first year on campus.</p>
<p>Now or never? That seems harsh, but then I dont know your
particular circumstances. If so, I would most definitely send him
to Exeter this fall, no matter what!</p>
<p>If, on the other hand, you can keep him home another year and send
him to BS for 10th grade, that would be my first choice. Lots of kids are
not quite ready at fourteen, another year can make a big big difference!</p>
<p>If the issue is financial though, wouldnt you rather save the money now and apply it to college? If you cant qualify for aid for BS, chances are you wont qualify for college. Its much more difficult to receive any merit aid for kids out of boarding school than out of public/parochial/charter schools due to grading system/ ap’s etc. He will be in a very cut throat environment for the top 10% of his class (dont kid yourself that he wont), and college merit aid is given based on ranking/gpa, and he wont be able to compete with public school gpa’s that go way above 4.0. Exeter is a great school, but is it worth 160K now and 200K for college? For 10k a summer you can send him to a fabulous summer enrichment program where he will make lots of friends and encounter new worlds.</p>
<p>I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but I believe that the high school years are more important and more impactful on someone’s life than college. Work and living habits, self-image, self-confidence etc are all formed more intensely in high school. For these reasons, among others, I would choose Exeter; it is truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience. This is also his first big life opportunity. Do not let momentary fear become a lifetime of regret.</p>
<p>Having said all that, if this is about money, then maybe you have to give up the Exeter opportunity.</p>
<p>PA-C – we were in a similar situation last year. My S had applied to BS for entry as 9th grader, but we NEVER planned on him going; we thought it would be good practice, and really wanted him to go as a 10th grader. But once he got in, we also didn’t want to take a chance on reapplying, because who knows, as well as that we learned what a time consuming process the whole thing is. So while my S wanted to go, I’m sure he had reservations, that he didn’t even express, like your S. But now that he’s there, he has so many new friends, and if this is a primary concern for your son, then he should not worry. These kids live with each other, and their friends are like family. My S said he is so much closer now to his BS friends, then he was to his grade school friends with whom he went to school for 9 years, and we can’t get him to come home on weekends!</p>
<p>I think it is very difficult to pass up on an opportunity like Exeter; if my S had stayed home, it would have been an easier road (and he likely would have wasted alot of time playing computer games). If the financial aspect isn’t too much of a burden, I also think its worth a try; if it doesn’t work out after a year, really no harm done. What BS provides is not just education, but I think a way of approaching the rest of one’s life. There is no idle time, and these students learn to maximize their time, love learning for the sake of it, and feel confident to try all sorts of new activities. But whatever you decide, it will be the right decision for your family. Good luck to you!</p>
<p>Just my thoughts, I think it would be crazy to turn down this once in a lifetime opportunity. To be able to apply and go through that process and to get accepted, realise how incredibly fortunate you are to even be able to apply and get this far. I don’t know how anyone can turn it down. For someone like me, it is only a dream that can’t become a reality. There are people like me who would kill to go to a boarding school, much less EXETER, that it would be such a shame if you don’t take it and even I’d feel it. I think the % of it not working out will be extremely small and making friends should be really easy at boarding, it shouldn’t be a deciding factor. If it really doesn’t work out, you can always leave and be happy that you gave Exeter a go with no regrets. Good luck with your decision and I really really hope your son decides to go.</p>
<p>The other posters have very well said what I thought you should know already. But think about it: What is the mission of a prep school? It is to provide an environment with challenges and opportunities for students who have a different kind of academic goals. Exeter for sure will provide your S with those he needs, which I’m sure the charter school doesn’t. It’s more important how a BS experience will enrich and prepare him for life, isn’t it? Think about it. Challenges and opportunities - these two words alone would really get Exeter my vote in your case. :)</p>
<p>I’m not a parent and by no means experienced in life, but I do hope you and your S will make the right choice for both!</p>
<p>I am not sure about whether this is such a great idea if he’s not enthusiastic. It IS a lot of money. There are some great public schools, too–I can’t judge what your local charter school is like. The other thing that might make me tip toward deciding against Exeter is that these are precious years to enjoy your child’s presence. I went to boarding school myself and I loved it, but I don’t think I could bear to part with the everyday amusement of having teenagers around.</p>
<p>Well, we are going to take a deep breath, hope for the best and mail our form to Exeter with:</p>
<p>YES I WILL ATTEND checked off!!! </p>
<p>Son seems calm with the decision, more smiles here and there as we chat lightly about some of the things he can do there. Less frowns about leaving friends at home. All around going well so far. </p>
<p>Hopefully we made the right decision!!! Thanks to everyone!!!</p>
<p>Congrats!!! I’m sure everyone knows boarding school will have amazing times and hard and challenging times but overall the entire experience will be absolutely UNPARALLED. Be happy with your decision. :)</p>
<p>Yay PA-C!!! I am so happy for your son! Please let him know that he is not giving up his charter school friends. Both of my boys remain/ed in close contact with their hometown friends. You live close enough that your son can (and probably will come home fairly frequently on w/e’s). My son comes home Saturday afternoon/eves after his game is done (no Saturday classes at his school, but he does play a sport), and almost always sees a schoolfriend from our town. My older son never lost contact with his best friends from middle school either. Also, your son’s friends can probably spend a Saturday night at Exeter. I think most schools allow that. My son’s best friend loves to visit my son at his school.</p>
<p>ooh, congrats!!
is he an incoming 9th grader?
maybe i’ll meet him then!!
i think just about everyone who’s going to bs is scared about leaving home, family, and friends… (well, i am).
but i talked to 3 kids who currently attend exeter and they said that it was a normal feeling and that for the most part, kids get over it and enjoy their life at exeter.</p>
</p>