Still trying to decide - Would love help!

<p>I believe my heart may seem more connected with Tufts because I had initially become very excited with the prospect of attending once I was accepted. However, as I reconsider both schools, attending Duke would definitely be the more exciting and adventurous option, but it also seems more risky. Something I think is important to consider: If I had been accepted by both RD, I think I would have been more inclined to choose Duke.</p>

<p>I am enticed with this idea because I want my college experience to be fun and exciting, and attending a top school far from home with a great academic reputation and D1 sports (Some people have asked, yes I am big sports person) seems like a dream come true. I think if I had never met the people going to Tufts it would be a lot easier for me to pick Duke, and for that reason I believe I should still pick Duke.</p>

<p>I want my college decision to be best for me, and not where others want me to attend. As much as I love the kids going to Tufts, I think Duke is the place I've been working toward attending my whole academic life.</p>

<p>I will be able to meet great people anywhere I go. So for these reasons, I am strongly leaning toward Duke as of now. I have until tuesday to postmark my decision.</p>

<p>X
I hope you had a good night's sleep and feel more sure of a decision. Both are great schools.</p>

<p>As for the kids you meet, I think that everyone here will admit that you will find your niche and make friends at any school. And remember, those were upper classmen that you met. You may not see them much, if at all. You will still be starting all over by making friends with the newbies. Since you want engineering, that will be a group within the group. Were they engineering students you met? What were the profs like? You will be spending most of your time in that environment.</p>

<p>Initially, I felt you had already attached to Tufts and did not want to "lobby" for Duke. Boston has its own magic after all.</p>

<p>But...I have a son in the Duke Class of 2009. He did not make up his mind to attend Duke till the last week of April. We are the only people who went to two Blue Devil Days. Duke seemed a bit cold on visits to him. His first Blue Devil Day was frankly a rather negative experience. Somebody who "did not want a prefrosh" finally came for him for an overnight but made it clear he was forced to do it by his frat. He immediately dumped our son and went to a party. My son had to be mature enough to not judge Duke by this one negative experience with a student who was socially lacking. Our son is not all that extroverted, but he decided to ignore this experience and to try his best to give Duke a fair shake. He went to classes on Blue Devil Days and shook hands solo with as many people as possible.</p>

<p>Luckily this was also the day the orchestra did its final concert. My son went to this (alone) as he, like many Duke freshmen, really likes to play but is not a conservatory type player. He wanted to be in an Orchestra purely for the pleasure of playing great music. He observed a great deal of espirit de corp in the Orchestra, and admired the conductor's clear first name basis with the entire group. Each senior wrote a tribute/looking back sort of thing in the program. My son could see himself spending a couple evenings a week happily in this company. </p>

<p>May I also point out that Duke has a splendid and I do mean splendid cultural arts budget and programming year round that has astounded our son.</p>

<p>Also, my son like many Duke students was a passable Varsity athlete. He likes Division One sports. He realized that Duke was going to be special but he had no idea how much he would later love being a Blue Devil. He is about to watch Hopkins and Duke compete in Baltimore in Lacrosse at this very minute..he is there, and is thrilled out of his mind for his friends, three of whom are on the Duke lacrosse team. But he also follows women's volleyball, womens basketball and a few other teams. Duke sports are a great anecdote to intense academics and a great time to be with friends and a great alum connection forever. Consider that.</p>

<p>My son also considered a very elite small LAC in New England because he wanted to know his professors. He has had lunch with his Chem prof (where my son was ...average) because they both love classical music. He has coffee with his language profs. He has warm friendships with his FOCUS profs. He is moving to Europe next year and loves his Duke liasons there. He doesn't know all his profs but frankly..they exceed his expectations and he sings their praises.</p>

<p>Like you, he did not initially have a warm fuzzy experience there but for different reasons. Number one, he expected to be waitlisted and not admitted. Number two, he was realistic and instead, he emotionally attached to the schools he knew would admit him. He gave more to those schools, attended classes at those schools and knew more students at those schools. He was also in the top quartile in the other schools and he knew he was likely remain in the top quartile if admitted to his match or match reach sort of schools. Only two people he knew were ever admitted to Duke and no one from this area got in except every couple to three years. He knew that he would be "average" at Duke. He had to really think about what that meant and about how hard it would be to transition to being in the middle of the Bell Curve. He had to decide how he would redefine "being successful" at Duke.</p>

<p>Since Day One, our son loved and admired his freshman hall mates. East Campus is super family-like and fun and a great bonding year for freshmen. He made more friends than he ever had in high school quickly. He is only average though..in outgoing qualiites. I guess I am saying, Duke is a warm place. You will not be disappointed but will likely be surprised at how thrilling it is to realize your entire class is full of people who are talented with interesting back stories. Durham..well...it is not Boston but it would be your home for four years and you should get out in it and serve in some capacity. </p>

<p>good luck..if you choose Duke based only on readiness for a big challenge and new horizon, our son's experience has been stellar so far. I recommend the school to you</p>

<p>Good luck, Xeneise. As others have said, I think you're in a win-win situation.</p>

<p>Our S. is another who fell in love with Tufts over ivies and bigger name schools. He liked the mix of students, and everything about it just sort of 'clicked.' He'd done a lot of research (wants to major in IR), but we still made him go back for a second visit before agreeing to the ED application. It's been interesting to read through your decision-making process!</p>

<p>Since you don't have a clear favorite based on personal impression, then work with what you DO have. Check out the engineering info ONE more time. As a sports fan, then chances are a D1 program will be a big plus for you (as soon as I finish here I'm running in to watch a bit of the Hopkins/Duke lacrosse finals). From post 21 above it sounds like your heart is leaning towards Duke. You mention that it's an "exciting and adventurous option" and that the prospect of going to school far from home is no problem for you (even a plus). It sounds like you're making up your mind. Hopefully indecision will give way to enthusiasm! :)</p>

<p>xeneise, I hope you picked Duke. You are going to love it SO much.</p>

<p>X: I have followed your posts from the beginning and know you are really struggling with decision making. I can relate. As I read your early posts I thought you were set on Tufts. Now I hear Duke in everything you write. So before I was telling you to go with your instincts and go to Tufts. Now, I am going to try and talk you out of Tufts and here is why:</p>

<p>For the record, my D is at Tufts. She turned down a full ride at USC (kind of like Duke in many ways) to go to Tufts. She turned down Berkeley, UCLA, even Stanford all of which had plenty of school spirit, big sports. Why, because she did not care a bit about the rah-rah school spirit thing. She wanted a school where students challenged each other, but were competitive mostly with themselves. She wanted a school that emphasized becoming a "world citizen" and making a difference.</p>

<p>So, if big sports and school "spirit"/greek system etc. matter to you........Go to Duke. Those things are really, truely insignificant at Tufts. Tufts is about kids who are passionate to "causes". The term "tikun olam" which means "heal the world" is the philosophy that permeats the campus and the student body. Tufts has a very specific "fit" and is definitely not for everyone. </p>

<p>It is not going to be flashy/sexy/glitzy. It is going to be about hearing Madeline Albright, Dan Rather speak on campus; It is about where you will study abroad (almost all the kids go abroad junior year); and learn another language/culture; it is about community and world service. </p>

<p>I think you are heading for Duke. Go and have a great college experience!</p>

<p>I am enrolling at Duke. Thanks so much everyone for all of your input!</p>

<p>Welcome to the Duke community, Xeneise. I know you will meet some fantastic people who like you have been brave enough to leave behind their own comfort zones. In fact, much of Duke is made up of people from far away. Consider Project Build before school starts..everyone is nuts about it and it is both a way to get out and see Durham and contribute and a way to just get socially on your feet before orientation. (our son has conflicts plus they fill up immediately.)
You will have a FAC who will greet your family on move in day and help you get moved in. Very nice warm touch.
The freshmen tend to have extreme loyalties to their dorms on East..there are Freshman competitions on the field on East by dorm. Some serious, some silly. Our son was on a coed dodgeball team freshman year..just for fun. All the freshman dorms are nice in my opinion except re lack of A/C. Gathering rooms and study rooms in each dorm are air conditioned however. What I like is the scale of freshman campus...no concrete block high rises towers..all rather homey and historic, a sense of community and class pride.
Also, engineering is exciting at Duke these days. You will be pleased with your classmates and the latest facilities. Some of my son's engineering friends are also going abroad for junior year engineering experiences for a semester.<br>
Enjoy!!! and congrats. Anyone would be proud to be going to Tufts or Duke but here's to your choice.</p>

<p>Congrats, Xeneise-- I bet it's a relief :) Wasn't today the deadline?</p>

<p>X: Congrats. Don't look back. You have a great future ahead of you. Enjoy your summer and keep us posted on your exploits.....I mean adventures....I mean progress :)</p>

<p>Yes, the deadline was today, haha.</p>

<p>I will definitely stick around CC for a while, so I'll see you all around :-)</p>