<p>Hilary6 - I'm also a high school junior, and I agree that stress is taking all the fun of high school away. Having fun in high school doesn't necessarily mean going to prom, playing football, hanging out with friends all the time. It means enjoying things you learn in class, because school is meant to be a learning place. Many of my friends take challenging classes because their parents set their schedules and will postpone their activities (video games, phone calls, etc) if they get anything below an A. I'm an fortunate kid because my parents don't really care how many APs I have, or how high my rank is, or even where I want to go. I take APs/ Honors because I enjoy the subjects, with the exception of AP US History. Well, I really wanted to learn about History when I signed up and not current events (that's what kids do in regular American History), but I found out I have no desire to write history essays like the DBQs or to learn beyond what I'm supposed to learn. I would be ecstatic to, instead of learning history, spend that time on Bio or Chem, or even Math.
But what I think parents should do instead of forcing their kids to take APs/ Honors is letting their children do what they enjoy. Right now us teenagers can't really control many things in life - because we are still teenagers - so there should be one thing we can at least control: academic. At this stage of life kids should be able to decide if they want to work hard or just simply slack off. I know people who work hard simply for the grades /their parents' desire and finally give up when they're too frustrated. I have the frustration myself when I stayed up late at night trying to study for history. I know it would be much better if parents talk more often to their children as an understanding friend, not as a dictator. Teenagers want to be understood, not told what to do with their lives. Instead of telling them to take AP History or AP Bio, why not sit down and get to know what they WANT to take? My friends keep complaining that their parents want them to do law and medicine while they like art or music theory. Or they have a passion to read and write but are forced to do math, which they despise.
So, understanding is the key. As long as the kids like the classes, stress wouldn't be that horrible. The horrible thing is to walk in the class and whisper to yourself "I hate this class", then frequently look at the clock to wait for the second the bell ring so you can get out.</p>
<p>jhsu, MomOFour, hssoph, berenelen, mesotired~ i completely agree with all of your points.</p>
<p>in my opinion, the most important thing in life is to be happy. true contentment comes from challeging ourselves in the areas (both in and outside of school) we love and doing things because WE want to do them.
ivy leagues do not ensure happiness, nor do all A's. i know plenty of people who had both, and are not satisfied or content with their lives (not to say that there aren't plenty of happy ivy graduates, of course). i also know many people who have become extremely successful in all areas of their lives, and they all reached success in different ways.<br>
there are a million options and a million fabulous colleges that one can go to, without epitomizing perfection in high school, that will help them find their true passions in life, and will allow them to be happy.</p>
<p>however, ive come to realize that there are still going to be people who disagree with me, and thats okay. i feel like i'm on the right path in life, and while i know that i have and will continue to make mistakes and to deal with stress, i won't mind because i will end up exactly where i'm supposed to be. i don't have to prove anything to anyone but myself, and thats the only motivation i need.</p>
<p>good luck to everyone, and just remember that as long as you don't lose sight of what is truly important in YOUR life, everything will turn out just fine. :)</p>
<p>SusieQ2007, I live in Texas, one of the non-Asian dominated towns, and at a school not known for its academics. I guess, seeing the amount of Asians in the districts, I can why there's so much work. However, just because that's the norm doesn't mean it's not stressed. 7th grade is too young for sleep deprivation...what's going to happen in high school? No sleep at all? I guess it is your daughter's own choice though.</p>
<p>ahobbitinside, you either misread my post or jump to conclusion. I've always said my kids have to have at least 8 hours of sleep. I never said anything about the sleep deprivation for my d. I said that is where I draw the line between school and health. I think you and I basically do agree on this point.
However, I did mention another kid who's friend with my daughter who only slept about 5 hours for a long time, but you are right she is not my child, so it's none of my business either.
One thing I forgot to mention that teachers usually teache according to what they think parents want and if there is a lot of Asian parents who want a lot of homework, they will give lots of homework. But if you are in the minority like myself who only wants the middle ground, you are stuck with the teacher for a year. That is why I said I did complain to the principal.</p>
<p>True contentment begins with food in the stomach and a roof over the head--doing things we love and want to do is great, but without food in the stomach and a roof over the head, the list of things we love and want to do diminishes considerably. Skiing, for instance--right out the window; having the freedom to attend a school that offers umpteen AP courses--no longer of interest (for parents); keeping clothes on your kids' back, regardless of brand name or fashion--still a rather large concern. Generally speaking, it's mostly the young that understand the importance of LIFE--and most of them (us) don't have a clue. But who are their role models? What do you want from this college education? Is this just an interim between getting into the BEST grade school and the most REWARDING job ($$, POWER, I can do what I want to do--no need to captialize the I's there!)? I mean, really, what are you looking for? What is it you want? When I was in HS, my typing teacher, of all people, handed out a list of 20 or so "desires" for his students to rank in order of importance. These ranged from something like "Health" to "A million dollars" to "knowledge of one's self." I can't speak for a lot of my classmates, but for myself, and those with whom I spoke afterwards (and during class discussion), I would estimate that the majority of lists were top-stacked less with materialistic/consumerist than spiritualistic/introspective concerns. In other words, in our naivete, we were, on the whole, much more mature than our parents as far as our vision was clear and uncomprimising--or perhaps just uncomprimized, and I for one, rather like(d) it that way. We could all do with a little more education. Going to school should keep our priorities in line, but from what I read on most of these boards, I'm not sure that any longer is the case.</p>
<p>Hilary, you are one smart girl. (You're not at Weston HS--could it be Lincoln/Sudbury?) You've found your own way out--just don't play the game. I agree with you, the competition for a limited number of seats at fancy (frequently overpriced) Ivies is insane and, I assure you from my daughter's experience, heartbreakingly unfair. Knocking yourself out to please a faceless group of people who will end up admitting the French Horn player or the Bush daughter with a 1200 and a DUI over you, is crazy, pointless, wastes your youth, and leaves you bitter and cynical. </p>
<p>There are only about 15-20 colleges that are crazy to get into: the Ivies, Stanford, Berkeley, Northwestern, Chicago, Duke... And all the rest, many of which are EXCELLENT, are HAPPY to admit you with a 3.5, a few honors/AP courses, a bit of interesting EC stuff to show you're not a drudge. My daughter's friends got into Emory, Tulane, Vanderbilt, Colgate, Bucknell, UC Davis, UNC, Emerson, and even Northwestern (ED) with just those stats. </p>
<p>You don't have to drop out. But refusing to play the game was a smart decision for you. Just encourage your wigged-out friends to join the club.</p>
<p>this is probably a different path to a 4 yr university than most of the parents want for their kids</p>
<p>im a transfer student, about to transfer to the UC's this fall under electrical engineering (impacted major), </p>
<p>the transfer process is a lot easier than high school and you can be more certain of ur chances at particular universities, as they are less subjective in the admissions game.</p>
<p>such as in any major if u have >3.80 gpa you'll probably make it in to berkeley or ucla, definitely ucsd<br>
there's a lot less busywork & bullsh.it. in community college.
unfortunately i probably missed out on dorm life, but then again i saved $20,000 a yr.</p>
<p>i remember in high school i took ap english and other honors classes, but i hated them since english and writing are not my strengths, i ended up going to community college and excelling at math and sciences and ended getting accepted to the UC's i wanted to attend. </p>
<p>also as a sidenote it's a hella of a lot easier to maintain a 4.0 at community college than it is at uc berkeley or ucla especially for premed majors, where gpa is absolutely critical to get accepted into medical school, there will be a lot of weeder classes at the top UC's and it'll bring ur gpa down cuz you will be competing against top guns in science. whereas in community college you will graded on a straight scale or an easy curve cuz most ppl at junior college r pretty lazy, but basically its easy A's at community college, and if you are self motivated, you can learn more than the required curriculum and ask ur teacher for help during office hours.</p>
<p>there's also TAA's (guaranteed admissions into less selective unviersities, davis santa barbara...)</p>
<p>hssoph- I completely agree with you. </p>
<p>It really is an amazing feeling to be able to get in places where YOU worked for without any "help" from anyone. I, too, was driven in high school and faced all the stress of applying to colleges, picking the "right" courses, etc... I didn't care much for EC's- I was only concerned with riding horses. I joined Debate Club partially due to my favorite teacher being the advisor, the nature of the club, and the "need" to have a high school EC on my application. </p>
<p>Now if I could start all over again and followed my passion then I wouldn't have taken an accelerated summer math course so I could hopefully get in AP Physics C (which never happened due to the math dept's lack of info on requirements for AP Calc... long story), I wouldn't have gone to Brown U for the summer, I wouldn't have doubled chemistry and physics, I wouldn't have taken horroreous AP Econ, I would've continued art... I even changed my admissions essay topics to what I thought the admissions would want to hear.</p>
<p>Then again, if it wasn't for my drive to be successful, then I wouldn't have pushed myself so hard to get into honors (11th grade) and AP English (12th) after 10th grade. That was my biggest achievement because I loved to read and wanted more opportunities to do so. Getting into high level English classes was something that I thought I'd never do because I used to struggle so much with writing.</p>
<p>The only times I was true to myself were keeping up with my riding and staying on the AP track for history because those two things were my true loves.</p>
<p>I don't know where I would've gotten in had I stuck with what I was truly good at. But I do know what it takes to get in places.</p>
<p>See, I, too, am a transfer. I didn't get in very many colleges so I chose the best one on my list. I liked the college but it wasn't really the right fit. So I went anyway and did everything that I wanted to do- kept up with my riding, worked part-time, took courses because they interested me, and got involved in some other activities. I didn't even stress out that much either (except for the second semester finals haha). In all, I took the time to enjoy myself and do things that I wanted to do. </p>
<p>Then I decided to transfer into my top choice from last year because I'm still convinced that it's the best fit. I was originally rejected despite family legacy. Then I got in the second time around and it's reported to be harder to get in as a transfer and I didn't ask for help in the admissions aside from speaking with a prof there and convincing my history prof/pre-major advisor that the school's dept. was better than her own. In all, not only I wrote more mature and stronger essays, but my application was more complete. In contrast, I wrote my essays the way I wanted to write- about horses, not about academic bowl.</p>
<p>Now that my parents have witnessed this amazing turnaround in the overall application process, they've begun to re-think how they're parenting my high school freshman brother. They learned to respect my brother's choices and not to pressure him except to get the grades that he deserves for working his butt off. For example, he basically signed up for AP Euro next year without even telling any of us about his plans. We just kept our mouths closed, we just let him talk. I had an IM conversation and he brought up AP Euro and how to do the summer work last week, I was astonished... and I just let the conversation flow. My parents try hard to give him support and options and to ensure that he will be able to do his passions for HIM, not for the admissions. We also try not to talk too much about colleges because he's still figuring how things are supposed to work. He's a bit afraid to be a "geek" and doesn't want to let go of his lazy friends but he's starting to figure things out. He's learning that he needs to be around people who will learn and push themselves to do well in order to do well (that's what AP Euro is for). He even asked to be signed up for a study skills workshop! </p>
<p>So hopefully what my parents have learned from me, their new strategies will work out for my brother so he gets the places that he wants. Hands off parents when it comes to choices and passions but lay down the law when it comes to grades. The child will eventually figure things out if he's bright enough.</p>
<p>But really, yes, there is a lot of stress at my high school. Kids sign up for a million AP's, as much as they can handle, even when you know that the subject isn't truly their best.</p>
<p>Amen, ticklemepink. I hope all parents read what you have to say and take heed.</p>
<p>i highly suggest smoking weed: drugs are the only route to true contentment, that or applying eastern philosophy/transcendentalism to your life...but considering materialistic, workaholic America today, the former is a better choice. </p>
<p>and im only half joking. in moderation and with responsibility, these things work, take it from Jack Kerouac. </p>
<p>but either way, dont let anyone else bring you down--especially your parents or grandparents. you only have one life to live, dont live for anyone else but you. i have a similar problem with my parents, and my grandfather too wants me to go to Harvard or something. "umm, yes grandpa," i nod and smile. sometimes you have to lie to get these control freaks off your back.</p>
<p>ambition is good. stress can be good, as long as it's self-induced. you should be stressing out because of difficult goals you set for YOURSELF, not goals that others set for you.</p>
<p>beware of parents. they dont understand you. they have forgotten what its like to be young and energetic. the sad thing is, too many parents begin to repress their children's individualism at an early age--that's why all kids should smoke weed and free their minds hahahaha.</p>
<p>listen to 60s rock and underground hip hop and read REAL, CONTROVERSIAL literature, these things will teach you a lot about life.</p>
<p>Unlike most people on CC, I just quit trying. I do literally NO work. I still have a 3.0 unweighted, but it is slowly slipping away from me.</p>
<p>How old are you, h4zin?</p>
<p>One of the big surprises of my life was when my son came home listening to all the same music that I used to listen to. It's as if college was a time warp taking him back to the days of my youth. When I was a kid we had a generation gap - we were rebels, with our own music and our own counter-culture.</p>
<p>I discussed this with my son. I opined that the reason for this was simply that our music was the best - nothing will ever surpass Abbey Road. He didn't argue with me....</p>
<p>lol calmom, nice. im 16.</p>
<p>yea, i went thru a big Beatles/60s rock phase. and yes, i agree that Beatles is the greatest band ever, and if you were to ask me a few months ago, i would agree that sixties rock is the best music ever.</p>
<p>but recently, after reading the autobiography of Malcolm X haha, i became more interested in african-american culture, and began to really appreciate hip-hop music. </p>
<p>hip-hop is the music of our generation. as awesome as 60s rock was, its a thing of the past, and i think its foolish for intelligent "liberal" youth to wish they lived in a different decade when they could embrace the present and make a difference. anyway, hip-hop music is just a great an art form and just as intelligent--despite its being corrupted and sold on MTV, there is a thriving underground hip-hop industry--as 60s rock music. </p>
<p>anyway, i dont know. the point is, as great and influential as the 60s counterculture and 50s beat generations were, they are simply eras for youth to study, not idols for us to imitate.</p>
<p>overall, the problem is that youth today, as my rehab counseler (also a former flower child) says, "has no cause"--and that's very true. thanks to the media and the government, as a generation youth today is so bound to Starbucks and Abercrombie and EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES (a curse upon those) and the god damn Poison Ivy League that we dont care to, or even have the time to, THINK about anything beyond these selfish, materialistic trivialities. </p>
<p>that was the longest tangent ever, and Im sure these harvard-horny cc people are getting irritated with me, so i better stop.</p>
<p>Stress comes with the territory. Learn to deal with it. You'll always be a little stressed out if you plan to be successful, but if you can learn to flush the stress out by doing things that you enjoy, then you've found the secret to happiness. I get bored during the summer when there is no stress at all. It's always nice to have something to keep you on your toes.</p>
<p>First thing, i'm 18 and yes, the beatles rock.. i love the beatles.. but abbey road is hardly their greatest album.. i mean rubber soul, revolver, and sgt. pepper's all easily suprass abbey road.. but that said, the bands pretty damn amazing period. Also, I agree that hip-hop might be the music of our generation, but most of it sucks, and it's ironic how it's supposed to disfranchise the african-american race, but in fact, it does the opposite, maybe it disfranchises them to their own race, and most of rap out nowadays sucks... only man i can listen to is the jiggaman, mr. jay-z, and some old school dre and wu-tang.
Ok, second thing, weed does not help, weed can help, but weed will not help. My friends have gone from productive people to worthless *****es through their addictions to weed, i'm not joking actually. Also, here's my theory. I'm done with high school now, and I'm going to an Ivy School and I'm extremely happy with my high school career. It's been entirely worth it because my school rocks. That said, I regret only one decision in my entire career: taking AP Biology. I wasn't sure if I would like the material because at my school, we don't nec. take Bio until 12th grade, and thus, it was my first time. However, I don't think the subject matter was terrible; my professor just sucked. I generally think courses don't make a difference, it's all about the teacher.
Another point, about college decisions, I have a genius friend, and when i say genius, i do not exaggerate, the man is quite literally a genius. He'll probably go on to do much more famous things than myself, but he sucks at math. He's a god at english and history, but can't do math for crap. He's got a photographic memory and can quote our history book.. and did on the AP.. but didn't get into any of his three choices for college while I did. Basically because I supposed I'm more personable and probably much better balanced, but I mean the thing is he'll be a much more valuable addition to whereever he goes.. which probably shouldve been where I'm going or one of the schools I'm not going to. So, basically you have to play the stupid college game. It's a reality in this world and you might as well deal with it if you want to get in wherever you're going. It sucks, but don't stress over it; screw your parents, it's your life ultimately, make your decisions, and if you're dependent on your parents, please them to the degree you're comfortable with, but don't pretend they rule your life; only you rule your life.
Last point, the USA seems to be becoming more slackerish as a country. I blame California, despite how I love Cali. So, deal with it fellow Americans, and work your asses off, because internationally speaking, we got it easy =p.</p>
<p>My rant's over. That's it. =)</p>
<p>I'm a HS junior, but I think some of the posts in this thread from students are bordering on ridiculous. Parents don't pressure their children out of some desire to keep them from pursuing their true interests and to force them to become a corporate drone for some societal conspiracy. They do it because they have their children's best interests in mind, and they're thinking about things such as the fact that passions like art or music theory don't generally provide a successful career for most people that have an interest in them.</p>
<p>The college admissions game may not be good for anyone's stress level, but the consequences of not playing it have a potential to be far worse. I don't think there's anything a "stress committee" CAN do to reduce stress without seriously harming the students at that school.</p>
<p>This topic is overrated! It pushes a lot of hot buttons, but it's unreal to expect no stress. In real corporate life, some overzealous people I know will work 60-80 hours just to impress bosses(talking about peer pressure), we can't complain to bosses(bosses love these kind people), what should we do, quit?
So taking it from a super laid back, beach bum kind of person, who never do that much study except maybe 2-3 years of my life, but always been a lifelong student and not a super achiever by any stretch of imaginations.</p>
<p>david06 and SusieQ2007:</p>
<p>What's wrong with NOT trying to go to an Ivy/Ivy-type of college? I graduated from high school 13 years ago. NOBODY owes me anything because I was salutatorian, AP scholar with honor, National Merit Finalist, etc. On the other hand, NOBODY cares that I couldn't hack it in AP US History, earned several C's in undergraduate and graduate school, and graduated at the bottom of my graduate school class.</p>
<p>Nobody is suggesting that everyone on this board emulate Ferris Bueller or Zack Morris. I never suggested that people here blow off high school. I merely suggested that everyone here sit back, relax, and be content to be in the top 10% of a normal graduating class. As a few of us have repeatedly mentioned in other posts, the obsessions on this web site are concentrated in just a few dozen of the thousands of colleges out there. </p>
<p>It's also clear that there is a law of diminishing marginal returns when it comes to academic achievement. This will always be true UNTIL the Ivies and similarly competitive schools admit 70% of students with SATs in the 1500s, admissions decisions are predictable, and the Tufts Syndrome ceases to exist.</p>
<p>jhsu,
I agree with you. I'm not trying to say everybody have to try for Ivy/Ivy-type. I'm not pressuring my kids to go to Ivy either(lol there is no money) like a lot of her friends parents are, but I don't think it's great NOT to put your best effort in high school either, yes some kids getting into honors because of parental pressure to go to top colleges, but some are for the challenges. There is a huge difference between the honors and non-honors classes. I don't want my kids to get straight As and go to college and get D's(I heard this happens on more than one occasions).
I also don't want my kids to have too much free time and getting into mischief/drugs. It's more likely they'll get into drugs because of boredom rather than stress.
What I don't like is the underline attitude that my parent made me do it, a somewhat cope out attitude in my opinion (it's easy to blame parents). If my kids suck at a certain subject, I don't think I (nor any parent) will pressure them into taking honors class either. We're parents, I certainly know better(can't speak for everybody) not to make kids do things they don't like because the result always turns out worse when you made somebody do something.</p>
<p>Reading over the past few days' entries I have deduced one firm conclusion: What we are looking for in life is FEELING (as in "amazing feeling to . . ."--I assume, accomplish some arbitrary task) and a GOOD(i.e. "successful") JOB. While these two goals are not mutually exclusive, they nevertheless leave me kind of breathless (as in "no oxygen" or "punched in the stomach"). And so my question remains: "What do you want from all of this?" Because if that's all it is, you don't need to go to college. These simple goals can be achieved with determined focus and incisive behavior. Is there something else that can't be measured by normative testing procedures? What's all the stress about?</p>