STRESSFUL DECISION-- should I take a gap year?

Parents Forum
1

I’m a high school senior who is in the process of applying to colleges, but I’m considering taking a gap year for these reasons:

  • I have some mental health issues (main reason)
  • I can better test scores
  • I can work on college essays more
  • I would have more time to intern or volunteer at a hospital (I want to major in nursing)
  • I would have more time to work on the book I’m writing (just a bonus)

Reasons why I think a gap year is bad:

  • I start college a year later, graduate a year later, and start my career a year later.
  • I’m afraid of people (especially family) judging me for taking a gap year and thinking I won’t ever go to college. ((I know myself that this is not true; I’ve wanted to go to college for my whole life and have been working towards it for years. I have a plan to get my bachelors of science in nursing and then after a year or two of experience as an RN (registered nurse), I want to further my education and get masters or maybe even a doctorate.))

So I’m not taking a gap year to travel or to find myself.

My main question is: do YOU think this is a good idea or a bad idea?

2

We can’t evaluate that for you. You certainly have valid reasons for the gap year. Look inside yourself and see what you really think is best for you.

3

I think it all depends on what you would do during the Gap year. As a parent, I would worry that if you take the year off, you will flounder, do nothing, and then get depressed while you hear about your friends moving on with their lives and having different experiences. If I were your parent, I’d want to hear a solid plan as to what you will do if you take the GAP year and I’d want to hear some structure to it. This structure can either be an organized by Gap year company if your parents have the money for it, or it can be something that you organize yourself to suit your needs.

A couple of comments, and questions - you don’t need to answer the questions, I’m just throwing these out there for you to think about as you are processing your options:

  • you said you have mental health issues. What does your therapist say about a Gap year? Can your therapist help you craft a good Gap year? If you don't have a therapist, would your parents be open to getting you one? What are you doing now to improve your mental health, and how would that look different in your Gap year? Why would going straight to college interfere with what you think you need to improve your mental health?
  • if you took a Gap year not organized by a company, what would you create for a structure? It's important that you get up and out of the house every morning. What would prevent you from quitting this structure after a couple of weeks and then just laying around? As a parent, I'd be very, very worried about you not being engaged.

*why can’t you work on your college essays now? What makes you think it would be so different next year?

*what would you do during your Gap year to improve your standardized tests? Why didn’t you do this over the past summer or this fall (this isn’t a criticism, this is a question about what will have changed)?

*have you looked into internship or volunteer opportunities at your local hospital/doctors offices? Why can’t you just apply for a paying job there, like a nurses aide?

4

These are some helpful things for me to consider, thank you for your response. I won’t go into any details regarding my mental state, but the main purpose of the gap year could help stabilize my mental health. A bonus would be that I could work on standardized testing even more and work on essays even more. It’s not that these things aren’t already pretty good, but I am an overachiever and am never really satisfied with anything that is within my control (I know, this is a personality flaw). I guess what I’m saying is I could become an even better candidate for getting accepted at the colleges I would like to attend.
I’m partly at a disadvantage because I’m homeschooled. For example, I didn’t know that I should’ve taken the SAT/ACT earlier than I did, which caused me to be very stressed because I couldn’t apply to any colleges early decision. (I think I’m also at a advantage by being homeschooled because I have the skills of learning things almost completely on my own, I have more say in the classes I take, I’m very disciplined and don’t procrastinate, and I’m good at managing my time. There are more pros and cons; I’m not trying to give homeschooling a negative connotation.)
I understand your point about needing a definitive plan for my gap year and I see why my parents might worry. But I’m very ambitious and driven, and I have a structured plan. I suppose I would just need to reassure them that I’m not going to just lie around all day, and maybe even have them hold me accountable.
Now I will personally have to weigh the pros of a gap year as well as the cons and decide which is greater. My main concern now is: will a gap year matter in the big picture? Will going to college a year later, graduating a year later, and starting my career a year later make a large impact, or will it be a minuscule impact?

5

The conventional wisdom is that gap years are often very beneficial, provided the student doesn’t just sit around and play video games :slight_smile: As you see and have learned, the biggest decision is what to do during the gap year. My D took two gap years to get her health in a better place and mature a little. I do not think she would have been successful in college if she had not done that.

6

I think a Gap year in the case of mental health issues is a very good decision. If you do not, and instead go to the university with out feeling emotionally stable, there is a high risk of not succeeding there. I have heard a lot of stories of students becoming depressed once in college. Your family and friends may not even be around there to help you.

7

“I’m homeschooled”

In addition to the gap year option, you also have the go-slow option. If you are surrounded by people who think you need to go to college immediately after finishing high school, you can restructure your academic plan and graduate next year instead of this.

8

I agree with @surfcity that taking a gap year is almost always beneficial. Taking several gap years might be even more beneficial. College is always out there waiting for you. There’s no deadline for it.

Also, starting your career, well that can happen during a gap year(s). When you explore interests, and pursue passions, you will discover your career focus and build important skills that you can’t learn in school. I know people who worked all sorts of jobs, travelled all over the world, and decided to start college at age 23 or even age 26. In fact, many of the finest colleges hold room for what are called "nontraditional students.’ Smith college, for example, has the Ada Comstock Scholars program (https://www.smith.edu/admission-aid/how-apply/ada-comstock-scholars) Mt. Holyoke has the Frances Perkins program – https://www.mtholyoke.edu/fp. Columbia has the GS program. UPenn has a program too. Not all have great FA, but many do. Also look at Reed, Agnes Scott, Bryn Mawr, Simmons, Hollins. Hampshire, MIT, Harvard Extension, and many many others.

I don’t think that having a definitive plan for a gap year is necessary. What’s more important, to my mind, is allowing yourself time. Allow yourself time to think, to grow, to create stuff. You are at an amazing time in your life when you have few obligations (no family of your own, no sick parents, no sick children) and few debts (no school loans, etc.) You are relatively free to try out things. Maybe for the first time in your life. Maybe for the last time in your life as you will soon acquire other obligations soon.

Also, you are or soon will be an adult. You can make decisions on your own. It’s wonderful if you include your parents. Highly recommended, but you will be for the first time able to do things without their permission, if you so choose. It can be an exhilarating feeling.

If you want to take a year and play video games, I say: Go for it. maybe you will be the next big game designer. It’s a multi-billion-dollar industry. If that’s where your interests lie, then go for it.

If you want to travel to see friends, then do it.

if you want to hike the Appalachian Trail – here’s how to do it – http://www.appalachiantrail.org/home/explore-the-trail/thru-hiking

If you want to work someplace completely awesome – here are a few resources–
https://www.workaway.info/
https://www.coolworks.com/
https://www.thesca.org/serve/young-adult-programs
https://www.volunteer.gov/

Or work at any job you may find. Whatever you decide to do, you will find value and skills there, if you’re truly interested in it.

best of luck to you.

9

Mental health is a great reason to do a gap year. However, if your schools offer deferred admission, you should apply and then request a gap year. This gives your family a lot more peace of mind that you are going to college since you are already accepted.

Many schools do not offer deferral, so this may not apply to you. In that case, you should do things that will make applying later easier - ask for recommendations and have the recommenders store them on their computer until needed, keep in touch with your high school to know how they do transcripts and counselor letters for gap year students, build your college list and get the deadlines on your calendar for the next cycle since you won’t have anyone associated with your school to remind you, and so on.

I do not think lack of hospital volunteer experience would keep you from being admitted as a nursing major.

If you are not sure, get a couple applications in so that you have until May 1st to decide whether or not go actually go.

10

will a gap year matter in the big picture? Will going to college a year later, graduating a year later, and starting my career a year later make a large impact, or will it be a minuscule impact?

It will make a minuscule impact as far as being behind your age group. It could make a tremendous impact for the positive if it helps you with your mental health or with ideas for what you want to study or motivation or money. It could be a tremendous negative if you lose motivation or focus or if there are reasons why this would negatively impact you financially (such as your parents’ financial situation could change and that could impact you). Regarding your comment about perfection, I agree that this can actually be a flaw; life moves fast and you need to cover a lot of ground. You have to weigh the quality of your work verses the quantity of your work. Don’t hold off your life just because you want things to be perfect because perfection is elusive.

11

As you are homeschooled, SATs are very important in your college application.
Also you need to see if you can take AP courses so that you can have AP tests that show you know your sciences.

I think GAP years are good if you are moving toward something and not running away from something.

Will you be taking concrete steps to address your mental health issue? E.g., get counseling, medication?
Will a lack of structure be good or not good for you?

12

Probably the most common types of gap year activities for those who do not go to college immediately after high school graduation involve working at paid jobs.

13

Thank you for your response. Being homeschooled is part of the reason why I’m worried about my scores. I took the ACT and got a 33, which was an improvement from the first time I took it. Unfortunately, I can’t/couldn’t take AP classes, but I did take advanced classes for every class except for math. As I stated in a response above, improving test scores would only be a bonus and the main priority of a gap year would be to improve my mental health. I seriously doubt that I will lose motivation or focus, I’m mostly worried that it will put me behind in some way.

14

That is a fine score. I wouldn’t worry about a 33 ACT keeping you out of nursing school.

Life is a journey, not a race. You shouldn’t worry about being behind in the sense of not being able to reach your goals. However, it can be emotionally difficult when most of your peers have moved on to a new phase in life and you’re still in the same place at home.

You don’t sound committed to the gap year yet, so apply to a few schools to keep your options open until the May 1 decision date. (Even if you don’t apply, community college would be an option up to the last minute.)

15

You have another thread so I will repeat what I wrote there.

Gap years can be helpful if you need to stabilize your mental health or just need some time out of academics.

However, gap years also can be a tangent that makes reentering difficult for some. And if depression is an issue (not saying it is) then disengaging from your path, so to speak, and from peers, can be counterproductive.

You have plenty of time to stabilize your health, so I, like others, suggest that you apply to schools now so that when April comes, you have the option to attend (or maybe defer).

Hospital volunteering can be helpful for aspiring nurses. Many I know do nurses’ aid training and work at that- working in the trenches in hospitals, nursing homes, or homes. You can also do an RN program at community college and then finish the BSN later.

If you want a BSN program, and have that kind of certainty about your goals, a gap year might be beneficial. When I was 18 I volunteered for the Frontier Nursing Service in Kentucky, something you can look into.

But I still think applying now is a good idea, to keep your options open.

16

Can you take a CNA class in your town? You could get a better paying job and find out if nursing is really for you.

17

What mommdc said. It’s an idea for helping you gain some structure for a gap year. If you want time to work on your essays (your ACT is absolutely fine where it is), work part time.

I think a gap year to get your mental health ducks in a row is a fabulous idea. As a profession, nursing can be emotionally draining, you want to be as mentally healthy as you can before it starts.

18

There are many months between now and September so I am wondering if your health could be stabilized in that period of time.

Volunteering now or doing a Red Cross nursing assistant job would be helpful for admission, but could also be done over the summer. I know several nursing students who work as a CNA while in school.

19

I’ll throw out another idea: Post Graduate Year (PG). Many US boarding schools have a post-grad year (aka 13th grade). This is usually for kids who need to mature athletically before going to college. But a PG year may also help you.

I agree with others though that getting your mental health in order should be the first priority. Once you are in a better condition, then college will fall into place.

20

Sounds like you are a driven student with high standards/expectations for yourself. Applying to college is stressful, and will be stressful next year if you wait, just as it feels stressful now. Although there are certainly lots of very good reasons to take a gap year, avoiding the stress of the college application process is probably not one of them. Your ACT score is awesome. I echo the advice of other posters who recommend applying to some colleges now to at least keep your options open. Then you can base your decision on what you actually want to do next year, and not fear of the application process itself.