It is not difficult to find those profs whose current research interests dovetail with your ideas. PhD students did this all the time before the advent of the internet, before computerized databases of publications, by sitting in a comprehensive library and combing through years and years of journals. Nowadays, with the internet, all one has to do is google the specific topic of interest, and tons of references will pop up.
The reason that there are virtually no “men-only” schools at this point (except for a few conservative religious seminaries) is that men are not a group that has been historically denied access to education, discriminated against in the educational institution, nor were they assigned primary responsibility for rearing children in the home, thus interfering with access to education.
The reality is that it is extremely unlikely that any school that meets full need for int’l students is going to accept you - you are older, you don’t have an outstanding high school transcript, and even if you did, it would be ancient history, and you have no extraordinarily impressive current achievement that would sway them to do otherwise. Applications to these institutions would be a waste of time and money.
You’ve been given a number of excellent suggestions for less expensive state universities with the resources that you seek (other than an extraordinarily prestigious name), that might take a chance on you, might even award you some merit money, plus you’ve been given the idea of trying the Netherlands. I suggest that you focus on them.
Another idea. Many state institutions offer in-state rate tuition to anyone, for summer classes. Why not come to the US for the summer, this summer, to take two summer classes at a state U that is offering intro to Linguistics and another class, perhaps Sociolinguistics if they are offered sequentially, and if not, perhaps intro to Comp Sci or intro to Data Science, or a math class if you’re not ready for those two, or any other intro level class that is relevant to what you want to do? It would give you a chance to see how things go for you in college level classes, plus it would establish that you can still do very well academically, would definitely support your applications for the fall '23. You could also do some traveling afterwards in the US, visit some of the campuses of schools that you are interested in, even possibly speak with some professors. It would probably cost you about 10K, what with travel, dorm, and tuition for two classes, but even if you were to decide that this is not what you want, you will have had a highly enriching experience, and had the opportunity to travel within the US. You’d have to hurry - most schools are starting summer school soon, some within the next couple of weeks. If you were to need a student visa, it would be impossible for this summer. Maybe Netherlands for this summer, if the visa application process is quicker? Or if such classes are offered within your country, maybe taking summer classes at home this summer? Anything that you can do to establish some evidence of current academic ability can only help you.