Student Earnestly Seeking Life/Educational Advice

Applying to College
1

I’ve written several drafts of this post, and after a completely sleepless night of worry, I’ve decided to just throw this out there and see what kind of feedback I can get. I am an only child and the first person in my family to go to college, and though my parents are extremely supportive of me, I think it’d be helpful to get some feedback from outside sources.

. . .

I’ve always been a serious student. In high school, I graduated near the top of my class. I went on to attend Vanderbilt University for my first year of college, then did a summer intensive program abroad sponsored by the school. I went to Vanderbilt because it was the only college I applied to that was able to meet my significant financial need. Vandy also happens to be located in my hometown, which further cut down on expenses. Despite the solid academics, however, Vanderbilt was not a good fit for me, and I was overall very unhappy there.

I took this past fall semester off, withdrawing from Vanderbilt, completely burnt out on school, hoping to rebuild my stamina and regain my enthusiasm for academics, and vowing to transfer somewhere smaller and without Greek life, where I could pursue other interests. Transfer I did, to a small liberal arts college in the Northeast, but after finishing the spring semester, I remain extremely burnt out on school and just as miserable as I was this time last year at Vandy. My GPA remains a 4.0, and though I have worked hard for my grades, in a way it is also frustrating, because no one sees how much of a failure I feel like on the inside, being so fed up with school and dissatisfied with what I’m doing and studying, while I see most of my peers seemingly having the time of their lives.

I’ve promised my family that I’ll obtain my B.A. on time (2015), and at this point I feel drawn to pursuing acting, which is a creative venture I’ve dabbled in in the past, performing in some plays and in a couple of improv troupes (most recently up at the LAC I transferred to). But the administration of said college just voted to dramatically cut funding and faculty and course offerings to the theatre department. For this reason, as well as the fact that the school is located in a tiny country town, I feel that I would gain more experience by completing my degree online from home (through a part-time, accelerated program operated by a brick-and-mortar school) and receiving professional training on the side while auditioning for local jobs, trying to get an agent, and working part-time to save up to move to L.A. a couple years down the road. This would be a much cheaper route to earning my degree, as well.

But part of me is tempted to return to [the security of?] “traditional” academics by applying for readmission to Vanderbilt for the fall (the deadline has not yet passed). This way, I could remain in my hometown, commute to classes like I did before, and also train locally and gain real-world, working experience of the Nashville market. Perhaps if I were pursuing acting on the side, I would be too busy to complain about Greek life and the other social characteristics of the school that previously made me hate the place. (The only thing is: I think I would still have the issue of what to major in. I am so burnt out on academics, but my family advises me to major in something other than theatre, so that I can fall back on something in the likely case that acting jobs won’t pay the bills.)

Hours ago, I was thinking maybe I should look to just transfer yet again, to a better-fitting school with a conservatory program—some place like Columbia College Chicago—so my degree program would <em>be</em> my training, but financially this is just not a viable option.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m all over the map. I’ve never had trouble with indecisiveness, and honestly I <em>never</em> thought I’d be in this position. This is unlike me, and for that reason and because no one in my family has attended college, the people closest to me are struggling to advise me. In high school, I had such a clear picture of my life and career (linguist); my thoughts and interests are a lot broader than I realized three years ago and, as a result, have changed. Hence, my current situation.

Any advice/insight will be truly appreciated. Thanks!

2

A few things:

  1. Don’t count your financial chickens before they’ve hatched. You have no idea what aid and scholarships might be available to you at any new school you choose to apply to. Worry first about applying where you expect to be happy…the financial compromises can come later if they have to.

  2. Don’t discount the value of a small town. It may be far from the acting epicenters in LA and New York, but that can actually be an advantage. If you’re not constantly going to auditions, trying to adapt to what agents and casting people say you should do, and being disheartened by repeated rejections, it leaves you free to grow into your own acting voice. Isolation can provide purification, focus, and the kind of deeper exploration that develops unique talent. Maybe you are already exactly where you need to be, (although the theater funding cuts are an unfortunate setback). At the least, even if you transfer, I would avoid feeling a rush to get to LA. Develop your craft - the spotlight will still be there if you show up later. Even with the funding cuts, I think I would give your current campus another semester to win you over. Small plants grow best in small pots - you may find that even with its reduced size it gives you a good environment to flourish in.

  3. Failing that, look hard for a place where you will be happy. Consider all options. It seems like you are leaning toward a more non-traditional kind of campus. Somewhere that emphasizes academics and passionate pursuit of extra-curriculars over socializing and Greek life. And has a theater program. The arts in a liberal arts context. Some options there are Bard, DePaul, Northwestern, Bennington, to name a few. I’d also throw in Georgetown, which had only a theater minor when I attended, yet I did more theater in my two years there than most theater majors get to do in their four years at another school. The student theater tradition there is very old (my company was over 150 years old) and very established, even now that they have a formal theater major to compete with. You could do a lot of theater just pursuing a minor and joining student theater groups, and majoring in something more “academic”. And G’town has no Greek life, though I would caution you that they do still have a minority of students who behave as if it exists anyway.

  4. Have patience with yourself. Don’t let your uncertainty frustrate you too much. It is natural and normal at this time of your life. The good news is that you are coping well with change - your grades are absolutely impressive given your state of mind about your situation - and that ability to cope gives me the confidence that you will land firmly on your feet no matter what you choose to do next.

Best wishes for your success and satisfaction!