We paid tuition, fees, room, board, cell phone, and transportation home.
We asked our kids to pay for all discretionary spending…and books. They worked about 10 hours a week.
We also sent little monetary gifts every so often, and added to their student points card at their school during the year.
But discretionary spending…on them. It was a good time to learn to budget and live within their means.
We give each child $200/month. Each kid has an Uber account. Each kid has a credit card (branched off my credit card account.) They can use it for <$25 online purchases but text me for purchases larger than that.
Kid #1 has a full ride. We pay for books and phone. His summer internship turned into a long distance telecommute situation so he earns much more than the $200 we give him.
Kid #2 has an almost full ride but we shell out a few grand each term for the portion of room and board that his cash stipend doesn’t cover. We pay for books and phone and a climbing membership. He works part time on campus and basically doubles the $200 we give him.
Technically we are supporting kid #2 with more money. Kid #1 doesn’t even need the money we give him. It’s tough to figure out what’s fair. We just keep the cash amount the same and call it good.
Like @thumper1 my D is responsible for all discretionary spending and books, and she contributes $3K/year to total COA. She worked about 50 hours a week this past summer and works about 10 hours week during the school semesters. I try to load her up with personal hygiene items before she leaves in August and again after winter break, she might occasionally have to grab a new deodorant or something on her own.
This semester was a bit different for us in that she is sharing an on-campus apartment and didn’t want to have an AYCE meal plan so she and I came up with a budget equaling what that meal plan would have cost, split between dining bucks and cash for the grocer. I sent her off with bags and bags of dry and canned foods to start her off. So far, she is spending only about half of the allotted money, yeah!
Her bioDad provided her with a car because transportation back and forth was such an issue her first year, a real PIA. While he pays for the insurance, she is responsible for her gas charges, oil change, that sort of thing and the vehicle goes back to him when she graduates.
She just recently got a credit card in her own name which I am helping to monitor. She puts all her groceries on it, her gas, etc., but not to be used for “fun” stuff, that is cash/debit only. I simply reimburse her for those charges we agreed on, primarily the grocery store.
We pay for room/board/tuition/books/medical/trips home.
What we did was to give them their accumulated birthday/christening type money when they started college to use as spending money. After that it was on them to refresh it with summer jobs.
We buy books for them online with my credit card and they pick them up at the bookstore.
For food money, we put an agreed amount onto a pre-paid credit card monthly for her to use.
if there is something else she needs money for , she has to ask and we put money on the card.
Sometimes she wants to do a school sponsored activity and I will help pay as I want her to do that type of thing. For example the Student Council sponsored a trip to Boston.
Entertainment/etc is hers to pay for.
They spend differently if it is their money and not your money.
We pay for everything more or less. Any money they earn is poled into family money. That’s how I was raised. That’s how my parents were raised. Works for us. They have a credit card which is ourbut they are only user. We’ve told them to buy what they think is reasonable. Sometimes we noticed no spending at all when they were in the dorm on a meal plan. I asked if the cc was lost. No. Just did not need Anything was the answer.
I’m stunned by people who can’t trust their child to use a credit card in the manner dictated unless there’s some major mental health or behavioral issue a college student should be able to be trusted.
Your kids give you their paychecks?
'Your kids give you their paychecks?"
Yep. While they are still dependents and we are paying for mostly everything. They actually earned very little in high school and college often doing summer programs and travel. But any money earned was just pooled with family money.
We paid for any college they want and any grad school. All expenses paid. Food, restaurants, clothes, makeup, books whatever. They had a credit card and a bank account which we funded. They were responsible for physically paying the cc (with the money we funded.) We told them to keep regular track on line of how much they were spending and to think about what they thought was reasonable to spend. Think about wants and needs etc…
They were given credit cards since highschool and told they could buy whatever they thought was reasonable. When my younger daughter was in Paris for HS trip all of the kids on her trip were buying Hermes bracelets (which tells you something about where we live). She did not. Her friends couldn’t believe she had unlimited access to cc but didn’t buy. Her reason “It doesn’t seem like the kind of thing you’d get for yourself, so it didn’t seem reasonable.”
Older DD now working and living/budgeting on own. No issues. Just as I had no issues doing the same. It’s family money until you are no longer a dependent. That’s what’s works for us.
Our son has savings and earns a small paycheck while he’s at school from which he buys incidentals. The government provides him with a platinum AMEX card and covers all the rest (room, board, tuition, ammo, uniforms, etc.) I’m not a fan of the military but, in this regard, it rocks. I know this isn’t helpful to the OP but, if your kid can stomach the potential for death and destruction, perhaps a service academy is the way to solve these issues. 
We had joint accounts with the kids so we could keep an eye on things. They had credit cards through USAA with pretty low limits. There was a school account that we filled from time to time for laundry and photocopies. We paid for the phone, transportation home and books. Oldest made enough in the summers he didn’t work during the school year. Younger son eventually got a part time job - about ten hours a week, so he could have more fun with his girl friend.
We do tuition, r&b, flights home and DD gets the rest, including books and any additional study abroad costs. Last summer, after her freshman year, we paid for her CNA class so she can build health care hours for grad school AND get paid. The kids understand. They’ve all worked at least a little and realize they’re coming out with a pretty good deal.
My D15 works two jobs over the summer and is able to make most of the money she needs for incidentals, gas, uber, dining out, books, etc. She also has a few small jobs she does while at school that help to keep her funds going. We pay for her cell phone, food allowance, rent, utilities (she moved off campus this year) but she covers the rest. She also got a student Discover Card and I highly recommend it for building credit, she pays that bill herself.
Our freshman son is responsible for his books, gas, spending money, and 1/2 of his sports ticket package.
He has texted me once asking if he bought some groceries, would I pay him back (he has an AYCE meal plan), and also once if he bought a college t-shirt he liked, would I pay him back. I said yes both times.
We offered to fill up his gas tank when we were there for Family Weekend, but he said he was fine.
I pay tuition, room and board, meal plan, health insurance, and travel to/from school. She is responsible for all incidentals and except for first semester books, has not asked for any money. She got a job on campus right away so she’s using that money for spending and she should be able to pay for her own books going forward. While I haven’t sent her any money (except a $5 Starbucks gift card once) my parents, sister, and cousin have sent her gift cards or cash occasionally.
Same as many others here. She has to earn any money for going out and incidentals. She saves money from summer jobs and any holiday/birthday cash she is given. When she is home, I will stock her up with shampoo, etc… We pay for books and supplies, but next year, she will also be responsible for books, as she will probably have a paid internship next summer.
No credit card, but she has a debit card that is linked to our account. If there is an amergency, we could put money in her account. Currently, she uses her debit card to pay for books and school supplies and we reimburse her account.
D (OOS LAC): books, incidentals, & is on lowest food plan so some of her weekly food. US: room/board, fees/travel. Scholarship for most of tuition
S (in-state flagship): books, incidentals, all fraternity social costs & all weekend food. US: room/board & fees. Scholarship for most tuition.
other things we cover: cars & car insurance for both, start up housing supplies, cell phones. Seems to be working out. They sure spend less eating out when its on their own dime! We pay almost twice the amount for our D than our S. But its fair in its own way as both are using their savings for the same things. Neither work during the school year; full time in the summer.
We pay tuition, room, board, books, travel home.
She pays everything else including her UK cell plan. No Amazon linked to us, no uber linked to us, no emergency card. She has a US bank accont, a UK bank account and her own US credit card she applied for in her name when she turned 18. She has bought her own clothes except special treats and gifts, and funded her own social life since she turned 16 and got a job.
My son is at college in Montreal and there is an active international parents group on Facebook. Every year the parents discuss the “right amount” of budget. We paid for tuition, room, board, and books (and cell phone). He is an athlete so we knew that part time work at school is not on the table.
He went off to school with savings. For HS graduation, he asked for gift cards (Tim Hortons, Five Guys). We agreed to a budget and he is living within it. When his saving runs out (based on the budget) we will give him cash for the remaining couple of months. Then he will work the summer and we will repeat the process. Next year, he will live off campus and we will need to refigure out food since he will be cooking for himself.
We pay for all necessities, including my daughter’s Zipcar account during her four years. She needed it to get to medical appointments.
But the fun stuff is on them.
Both my kids have debit cards linked to my account that they got when they started driving. The used the card to buy gas (most of their driving was for school or related to school) so I reimbursed them for that. If they went to the store to buy something for the house, I would reimburse them for that as well. When I reimbursed the account, I rounded up (sometimes to the nearest whole dollar, sometimes to nearest $5 or $10). Served to build up the account balance over time slowly. I still do that now that they are in college. I make judgment calls in terms of what I think should be reimbursed or what I think is a personal expense for them to cover. Build up in account is faster at college because I reimburse them for more (mainly food). Has worked out well so far and they will have a decent petty cash account when they graduate.
My daughter worked two jobs for two summers before college and built up savings. She knew we would cover tuition and room & board, but she would have to cover books, study abroad, sorority (wow those fees are high), and personal spending. She’s now a sophomore and has a 4-6 hour a week job. Working in high school taught her many skills and has now enabled her to do things she may not have been able to…crazy how much she likes to eat out?! She also has a credit card linked to mine that she puts certain purchases on (gas) and pays us back. My son started working when he was 16, but only one job with limited hours during the school year. He covers gas and going out spending now. He’s much less of a spender than my daughter, but also knows he will have to cover similar expenses in college and if his college choice comes in higher than the agreed budget, he will be covering that portion too.