<p>atomom-doesn’t have to be in a “relationship” but what about studying for a test or just walking into her dorm room to say hi. I hate to say it but never say never. I’m sure he did nothing wrong but that doesn’t mean someone didn’t accuse him of doing something wrong.</p>
<p>I would not advise either of my college age sons to agree to questioning by police just to be nice or helpful. If it is that serious that they need to talk to him in private, he needs to be represented by a lawyer.</p>
<p>The world we live in has changed since we were kids. In our country today, the police are not your friend. Your son should tell them no. Not being guilty of anything is not an assurance the legal system can’t seriously threaten and/or punish you. If they insist, and it doesn’t sound like they will, make sure he is represented. What has happened to our country?</p>
<p>S wouldn’t say hi to a girl. Well, maybe his sister. He studies alone.</p>
<p>You called the dorm office- but did you call anyone else? I’d be on the phone to the Dean, to learn what I could and express concerns about him being interviewed alone. The person who called initially said he is not in trouble- I’d be curious to learn what this is.</p>
<p>Also, a nagging question- how does one just ditch a campus police request?</p>
<p>You learned from housing that they don’t have something brewing, but it could be anything. My other kid had to go talk to campus security when she had our car for a few weeks and kept parking it in the wrong zones.</p>
<p>I think I’d tell me kids to say “no, I won’t come in and talk to you unless you tell me what this regarding.” My 18 year old, albeit in high school, was questioned last spring about something that occurred at a party he was at, but they flat out told him they wanted to talk to him about the party he was at and that he was not in any trouble, that they simply needed to know what he knew about the evening. I don’t understand why they didn’t give the OP’s son ANY information about why they wanted to talk to him. That would certainly make me nervous. I can understand why they didn’t tell the OP, they just wanted a phone number for the son, but to not tell the son anything would make me nervous. The OP’s son could probably put it together with a few phone calls at least to determine if it was something in the dorm, or in a class, or an activity by who got phone calls but I’m not sure how connected the OP’s son is on campus. If he’s 18 how much information will the OP be able to find out is another question I have.</p>
<p>My hunch is that it could be related to his walking around the campus security building. They may have picked it up on tape and thought it looked suspicious. With all the craziness on college campuses these days, everyone is hyper-vigilant. Still would not let him go alone though. I think that agreeing to meet with them, and then not showing up, is just going to increase their suspicions. If you absolutely cannot get there, perhaps you should make a phone call and suggest a conference call with all 3 of you on the line. If your son consents, this should be fine with them.</p>
<p>I would tell my child no way go alone. Period. It’s an odd request. I can bet you he was accused of something, and they dont just want to chat, and that can be scary for even the most seasoned adult. </p>
<p>I saw a break in and the cops called me, I didn’t have to go in for a chat. If he maybe witnessed something they would tell him that on the phone. Hey, there was an attack last week, did you see anything? </p>
<p>I have told my daughters to say nothing. Nada if they are questioned for anything they might bbe accused of. Not talking is fine. </p>
<p>Do you have a lawyer friend who can make a phone call saying they are the family lawyer and you just want to be sure this is not an interrogation but just an interview and what it is about. </p>
<p>He can push back the interview for a week. Say he is sick, has finals, whatever. If its more serious you will know right away.</p>
<p>Do not have him ignore call. Do you have ANY attorney friends who could call to cancel this “appointment”? I would have them do so. If they INSIST, have them reschedule when an attorney FOR YOUR SON can and will be present, which should be when they have an arrest warrant. Just not showing up will escalate things–at least have you or atttorney friend call and say he is NOT showing up unless he has his attorney with him and present at all times.</p>
<p>I think you should have your son call and ask what this is in refrence to and ask to reschedule the time. I definately think someone should go with him due to his autism. This situation does not sound just “routine”, most likely it has to do with walking around the building.</p>
<p>Do NOT let him talk to the police without an attorney under any circumstances.</p>
<p>And you might want to coach him on his answer as to “why” he walked completely all around the security building 
in case that is what it is all about. Unless it’s got architectural significance it would make any officer nervous and it’s alittle strange as generally physical plant, security and those sorts of services are in obscure locations on campuses relative to the normal flow of students. obviously I have no clue about the location on the campus HE is on.</p>
<p>Theories on this thread are starting to run wild. </p>
<p>Rather than letting imaginations get carried away it’d be a whole lot easier to just contact the police department and ask them what’s up including what they want to ask him about and what he meant when he said your S wasn’t in any trouble. </p>
<p>I don’t think just not showing up is a good idea and it won’t solve anything - they’ll likely just contact him and ask him to go there again. If he doesn’t want to show up then he should at least call them and let them know he can’t (won’t) make it and while he’s on the phone with them he can just ask what it’s all about and whether they can just ask him on the phone. If he’s very shy this might be easier for him anyway.</p>
<p>Also, it’s the campus police, if they want to talk to him about anything it’s likely easier to just ask him to come to the office which is likely walking distance from his dorm and easier with students since they can do it within their schedule. I wouldn’t take is a s sign that he’s about to head into a line-up or anything.</p>
<p>I agree that it may be related to wearing black, being seen on security cameras & as a loner.
But even so, that isn’t suspicious unless there was something else, or else the security has way too much time on their hands.</p>
<p>I also agree with this.
The police will lie to you about their motivation.
</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Not necessarily. </p>
<p>There’s been many cases of police officers…including campus cops who have ruined many young lives of what turned out to be innocent students/young people solely because they went to a police station to be questioned without an attorney present. </p>
<p>What’s interesting is seeing how responses to this varies not only by whether someone is an attorney, but also how they were raised to perceive police officers/cops. To some like the OP or you, you both were probably raised to believe they are good and can do no harm. </p>
<p>On the other hand, if you’re raised like many kids in my old NYC neighborhood or if you are of a certain racial profile, one tends to come to the rapid realization that police officers/cops cannot always be assumed to be friendly and on the “up and up” and can be quite abusive about their powers. </p>
<p>For the ones in the racial aspect…this even crosses class lines as a college classmate who’s upper-middle class and Black found when he kept getting pulled over and sometimes interrogated harshly because he not only DWB*…but also assumed to be a drug dealer or criminal of some kind for doing so in a BMW that was actually given to him for his high school graduation present. Considering his experiences…I won’t blame him for not having warm and fuzzy feelings around police officers when they request he come to the station for questioning or they pull him over for another traffic stop. </p>
<ul>
<li>Driving while Black.</li>
</ul>
<p>Yes, I asked S why he walked around the building. It is near other campus buildings, but not near the dorms. He was just walking around the campus for exercise and walks around different parts of campus to see what’s there. He wasn’t that close to the building/group of buildings–not looking in windows, around landscaping or anything like that. It was during the day, but there were no other students around the area.</p>
<p>I did try to call back the original phone number and just got an answering machine for the CID (I had to look up what CID means. . .) I wanted to remind them as I told them originally that S might have trouble communicating verbally and wants to know what this is concerning before he can agree to answer questions. Just not knowing is the source of anxiety. I’ll try to call back in the morning, and if I am able to find out that this is a minor issue that he can speak about, fine. If he is actually being accused of something (which he can’t imagine), then he’ll need to have someone there with him.</p>
<p>I was raised to see cops as community oriented helpers, and for the most part that is how I see them - except you have to recognize they have their own agenda- & I also watch police procedurals, and have learned a lot!</p>
<p>Them not telling him what it is about is an ambush. Sorry but it is. If he was not in trouble they would tell him what it is regarding. I would under no circumstances walk into a police station like that, campus or not, without knowing why I am there and I would have representation or I would turn arou d and walk out if they took me into any sort of room. Period.</p>
<p>do not, allow your child contact with the police! they are not to be trusted, if the call to you was real it is a little strange. if your child has special needs , you must step in. a lawyer should be spoken too! I used to believe the police were there to help, it is not true! if they have an unknown agenda, be cautious.</p>
<p>Let’s wait and see what OP learns tomorrow. If her son has trouble communicating, he may not have thought to clarify what this is about. It’s an awful lot to suggest this is an “ambush.”</p>