<p>Yeah, I wondered about the trespassing. I mean, if you are a student there, and just stick your card in a lock (and your hand isn’t even touching the lock)–is that an attempt to break in–knowing that your card won’t open something you’re not authorized to open anyway?
S certainly won’t try his card again in ANY door but his own.<br>
What is sort of funny is that D told me that they COULD have easily entered the building when another women in front of them opened the door–if they had rushed to catch the door. They were only about 1/2 step too far behind her. I guess they really would have been trespassing then.</p>
<p>I for one am happy the thread appeared, just so that we can warn our kids about the police. My son is far more cautious about them than I am. (He gets harassed frequently when ever he’s out in mixed race groups at night.) Of course now he’s in a foreign country and the worries are much worse. </p>
<p>Atomom, so relieved to find out there was a relatively innocuous explanation. Who would have thought to warn kids about such a thing. </p>
<p>Youdon’tsay, I think the mystery pf the murdered grad student at Yale was solved in part because there were a limited number of people with access to the lab where she was working.</p>
<p>I’m glad it worked out. I’ve actually been thinking about your son the last couple of days hoping everything was ok. It’s funny how attached one can get to total strangers. Thanks for following up with us and I hope the rest of his semester is uneventful in a good way.</p>
<p>Thanks - I’ve been waiting to hear the rest of the story. I really do think many on this thread got spun up and over-reacted but I also understand why they said what they did. </p>
<p>The context of this being your kid with the way you described him, being on a college campus, not having a policeman going to his dorm room and hence the request for him to go to the office, all made me think this was probably nothing that needed lawyering up immediately but rather, just asking what it’s about.</p>
<p>Everything the officer said makes sense. Many college campuses have secure areas - especially some lab areas with toxic substances as well as other secure areas such as datacenters, labs with dangerous and expensive equipment, etc.</p>
<p>I guess now your S knows that card access readers log not just valid accesses but denied accesses as well and the good thing is his campus police are on the ball enough to pay attention to this which is a good thing.</p>
<p>I’m glad it all ended okay.</p>
<p>Thanks for reporting back. I’m so glad it was minor. I found my self being very concerned for you and your son. What a relief to hear that it is over!</p>
<p>Glad to hear of the happy ending. But I don’t think, in this case, that the thread was an overreaction. The system does bad things to good people all the time. The mention of autism was smart: they would be more afraid of legal trouble that way.</p>
<p>A lot of parents with autistic children can probably relate to this. Many of our children like to hear repetitive sounds, make repetitive motions, try out each option, etc. I never thought I’d need to put this on my list of things to warn my son about, but now I will.</p>
<p>Glad to hear of the happy ending. But I don’t think, in this case, that the thread was an overreaction.</p>
<p>I agree. In fact, I think it demonstrates why so many of us were concerned. The OP’s son was actually the target, albeit the issue was minor. He was not a witness as the OP originally suspected. It was a very good discussion and reminder IMO as to what to do when approached by the police in this manner.</p>
<p>Re Post #137</p>
<p>It was a murder in the labs at Yale. </p>
<p>But they also used some key card data during the Duke lacrosse rape-that-did-not-happen case.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update. I was worried for you. I too have a son on the spectrum, and wanting to hear the “cool beeping sound” makes perfect sense to me. I also can imagine my son doing an analysis of whether his card opens other doors, and the effects of small modifications on which doors can be opened. All in the name of scientific inquiry, of course, as he would never steal. : )</p>
<p>Just goes to show, we can’t think of everything in advance as we attempt to prepare them for the world! I for one am glad the thread happened, as I never would have thought about these police issues. Thank you to those who posted the links.</p>
<p>I think it did help that I mentioned that S is autistic when I first talked to the officer. He did seem sympathetic to an “anxious mother,” though he pointed out that S is an adult (19/freshman) and needs to take care of his own problems. I agreed that I do want S to be independent and take care of this on his own. I didn’t say this, but it is hard to “let go” when your kid doesn’t always have common sense or think/react in the “normal” or predictable way. I have very mixed feelings about “enabling”/“helping” S like this. I want him to be able to draw from his own resources, not just ignore the problem or call me. Well, it seems to have been a learning experience for all of us. </p>
<p>Yes, when S first said, “cool beeping sound,” I thought, “that sounds SOOOO Autistic!”</p>
<p>Atomom: I’ve been scanning this thread for several days and I am so happy for you that it came to an easy conclusion for you and your son.</p>
<p>As others have said this thread is really a good lesson in what we should teach our kids if they are called in for questioning. I know I will be sharing some of the videos and comments on this thread with my kids over Christmas break, but I’m so sorry you had to go through that fright!</p>
<p>Thanks for the update. Glad your S is now wiser about what actions on his part CAN cause concern and potential questioning by others. Sadly, bad things can happen to good people, especially kids who are trusting and sometimes do things without thinking too far ahead.</p>
<p>Glad to have viewed the videos again and think they are good for all ages, just to protect ourselves. Did send them to my kids, but have no idea if they did or will watch them. S has always tended to be pretty private and cautious. D is becoming moreso after her one very upsetting experience with campus security.</p>
<p>Hope everyone has a great weekend and only positive encounters with our police and campus security officers. ;)</p>
<p>" he pointed out that S is an adult (19/freshman) and needs to take care of his own problems"
right there is a warning flag! do not let a cop bully you with mind games!</p>
<p>Phew! So glad the mystery was solved atomom. I cried when I read your post. I can only imagine the anxiety and stress you’ve gone through. The cool beeping sound got me! Lesson learned and I’ll be sure to share with my D before she heads off to college next fall. Happy hugs to you that it all worked out fine :)</p>
<p>So glad it turned out alright. Thanks for sharing. My son who is autistic will be attending college next year. Though we think something like that is “so autistic”, apparently others don’t and take it far more seriously. I will definitely have a conversation with my son about dealing with the police if it occurs!</p>
<p>While I am very glad to have always told my kids to be polite with a wish to be helpful albeit with an attorney present, I am so glad of the previous post about not pushing your kids to tell you the whole truth of something if they have gotten themselves in legitimate trouble. While in writing I can see how it’s true, but I had no real concept of you having to testify against your child. That is a YIKES that kinda makes my heart stop.</p>
<p>But about those key cards… when I relayed the story about my S getting called in and repeating over and over again how he’d like to be helpful but needed an attorney (and there was indeed some threats and bullying going on probably in the hopes that something he might say would incriminate him), they actually narrowed in on him due to the timing of his swiping his card key into the dorm. He had run home when he saw security come to this party… his running was a sign of guilt (which I agree except it wasn’t the guilt they were thinking it was) and so they just did a time check of the nearest buildings which was easy on their part. </p>
<p>But I totally stick to my original assessment… what if someone had actually broken into that lab that night and caused all kinds of damage or stolen something (e.g., that woman that went in after them)? They could have twisted all kinds of things, even though he had the alibi that he was with his sister. In fairness, I know campus security has asked my son questions before and he willingly answered, but this was decidedly different in that he was officially called in. Let’s just say I know he had enough interactions with the one guy because after his 21st birthday they became friends on Facebook!!!</p>
<p>Glad you updated and all is well!!!</p>
<p>I am so happy to hear this has turned out to be minor. I know you must be relieved.</p>
<p>Hugs!</p>
<p>I’m really glad it all turned out well for your son.</p>
<p>I suspect it really did help in this particular case that you explained your son is autistic. It “sounds” as if you got someone who actually knows what that means.</p>
<p>I’m a bit afraid, though, that some readers of this thread will conclude that the attorneys who advised against having your S talk to the cops were being alarmist. Quite seriously,we weren’t. </p>
<p>The example I use with my own clients–I do stuff related to securities–is Martha Stewart. She was NOT convicted of securities fraud. She was convicted of making a false statement to a FBI rep and of obstructing justice. </p>
<p>When she was questioned by a FBI rep, she was not under oath. She lied to him. She was convicted of doing so. She also talked to the sales assistant to her broker and asked him about what he planned to say when he was questioned. Yes, it gets more complicated at that point…but everyone agrees she asked him what he was going to say.</p>
<p>So seriously, if your kid is in trouble…do NOT ask him what he “really” did and do NOT tell him to talk to his roommates and dorm mates to find out whether they have been contacted and what they plan to say. </p>
<p>As one criminal attorneys I know puts in, “Just tell him to keep his **** mouth shut!”</p>