<p>Well, as the UC acceptances are coming into the home stretch it is a possibility my d could wind up at UCLA which is not far from home. She wasn't even considering this school until she got accepted! She may very well wind up elsewhere, but just wondering about the experience of having your kids in a dorm close to home. We always thought she'd be at least a few hrs from home if not a plane ride away. This is probably why she was not all that serious about this school. And, if she is in a dorm nearby I certainly don't want to become "mom's laundry service". Suggestions and experiences to share?</p>
<p>I have one in college 3,000 miles away, and one in college 3 blocks away. I don’t do either of their laundry, and the one still living at home will be moving to another college about a 3 hour drive from us. I think it mostly matters what the kid wants. My son across the country loves his school, but if he could loose it from its moorings and move it closer to home, he would. My one who will not be so far away, she’d go to the other side of the globe if she could… not because she’s unhappy here, she’s just an adventurer by nature.</p>
<p>It’s all good. It sounds like your daughter is going to have some exciting choices!</p>
<p>Daughter is an hour away. She brings her laundry home but she does it. Laundry is free at the school but she took one look at the one in her freshman dorm and never entered it again. She decribed it as “very scary, like a dungeon.” The bldg is 200 years old so she might be right. This year the laundry is on the first floor with windows, but she still drags the bag home with her. She only comes on the weekends - and we rarely see her. She is either sleeping or studying, less social life than if she stayed at school.</p>
<p>My daughter is an hour and a half away, and I have come to think of it as the ideal distance. We don’t see her every weekend, by any means – but it is a quick trip up if she invites us up for something. Our two cities are also linked by Amtrak which has been terrifically convenient, especially if she is coming home on a weekday evening (read rush hour) before a break.
She does laundry at school.</p>
<p>My son went to college less than an hour from home.</p>
<p>It worked out fine. My husband and I didn’t interfere with his life any more than we do with our daughter, who attends a college seven hours from home. But in several ways, life was more convenient for him because he was not far away. He was able to see the same doctors and dentist year-round. He could borrow my car occasionally to go shopping. On a few occasions, I dropped things off at school for him. And during every move-in and move-out, no shipping or storage was necessary, even though he had a bicycle, a refrigerator that he owned rather than rented, a bulky desktop computer, and a TV. We simply made two trips.</p>
<p>He always did his own laundry, either at home or at school. He prefers it that way so that he doesn’t have to go to the trouble of separating his clothes from other people’s. I assume that he is still doing his own laundry now that he is at graduate school on the other side of the country.</p>
<p>My son, who never in a million years thought he would stay anywhere close to home, ended up 75 miles away. I see him about as often as my other son, who is more than 400 miles away. He loves his school (hint: it is a close rival of UCLA) and wouldn’t trade for anything. So far, except for a couple of doctor’s appt, he has not come home much. And, BTW, we are close and talk often, so it isn’t just a boy thing. He has never brought laundry home for me to do. I would have, though! LOL.</p>
<p>My daughter is about an hour away. She does often bring her laundry home and visit with us while she (emphasis on she) does it, which is fine by me. We usually have dinner and she usually steals the leftovers. She has way too many clothes so it is not a weekly or even fortnightly event.</p>
<p>My children are far away, but many of my friends’ children (and my children’s friends) attend one of the local colleges. I can tell you that families’ experiences are all over the lot, and completely depend on the kid and the family:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>One friend, whose son’s dorm was about 1 mile from his office and 6 miles from their home, did not see him or get a phone call from him between move-in day and Thanksgiving. At Thanksgiving, he told his son, “If you were in California, you would call home once a week. Being near by doesn’t get you off the hook. You have to call us sometimes.” In four years of college, he never saw his son other than at vacation times.</p></li>
<li><p>Son’s best friend, at the same college (with one parent on faculty), spent almost every weekend at home his first year. He visits a LOT less in his second year. His parents and sister, however, go see him often, almost every week. I don’t know that this kid has ever done his own laundry. It was a major step when he began to cut his own food! (kidding)</p></li>
<li><p>One of my partners has two daughters about 15 blocks away. He schedules dinner with them a couple of times a semester. One of them sometimes comes home to study for exams or write final papers, to get away from the crazed atmosphere in the dorm.</p></li>
<li><p>My son’s last high school girlfriend is at college in the suburbs, about an hour from her inner-city home on public transportation. She goes to visit her family once a month, but doesn’t always stay overnight. They don’t visit her (to her relief). She comes into the city for church or fun at least weekly.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>With the exception noted, all of these kids do their own laundry, and do it at school.</p>
<p>I went to college about 45 minutes from home. I had transferred from a juco, and all my best friends were still there. I went home every weekend for two years, except one, and mom did my laundry. Is that your worst nightmare? It was fine for me (better for my parents), but I’d like more for my kids.</p>
<p>Mine lives off campus this year. Last year when she lived on campus she did do her laundry at school. I guess this year she just decided to combine the occasional visits home with doing her laundry. I don’t have a problem with it. I even help her fold whatever she dumps in my lap from the drier.</p>
<p>My husband and his brother both went to UCLA, about a 45 minute drive from their parents.<br>
My husband came home every few weeks for dinner and loved it. Lots of kids went from his high school, but he made new friends, too. His mother did do his laundry, though…I had to teach him how to do it when I met him in law school.
His brother went home every single weekend, had a girlfriend who was still in the hometown, and never really connected with UCLA.</p>
<p>Our younger son is in his second year on campus, only about 20 minutes from home. This is a large, impersonal urban university, and being able to get off campus now and then has been good for him. He has on-campus friends, also socializes with some high school buddies when they’re in town. Dad is an expert in the field son is studying, and was able to help him through a particularly tough course. He came home fairly often, but we didn’t see him much. When he was home, he was sleeping or doing problem sets… Laundry is free at home, so that’s where he did his.</p>
<p>I was only 1/2 kidding with the laundry comment. Thank you for all your comments. My real concern is reaching out, stretching oneself, not coming home because it is comfortable or easy. From the comments and knowing my d, I don’t think this would be a problem. I guess whether your near or far it’s about finding a social group to hang with and figuring out what you want from your college experience and then going after it. Bottom line…I’m jealous; wish I could go to college again!</p>
<p>Our son is an hour away. We have loved it being so close, both for the convenience of move-in and move-out days and because we have gone to every home football game for the past three years. He doesn’t come home much–a few days at Thanksgiving and Christmas is about it with a little visit on either end of the summer break. This spring break he didn’t pass by home at all. He basically shows up with just the clothes on his back and his laptop. Has never brought laundry home. Other than football, we haven’t gone to see him either. We have checked on his availability when passing through but he works most evenings and stays very busy. He uses email to keep in touch.</p>
<p>Our youngest will be 6 hours away next year and I wish it were closer, mostly for the football. It’s fun to share those games with the kids and get that connection to the college that way. My H was feeling conflicted about what he would do next year when both are in college but S1 will be abroad fall of his senior year, so H plans to drive 6 hours for every home football game for S2. I may skip some of those games.</p>
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<p>Why is being farther away necessarily “more”?</p>
<p>TheAnalyst – We have loved going up to D’s school for the Div. 1 basketball games.</p>
<p>S2 will be at West Virginia next year, so good basketball too. Father and son have been glued to the TV for the tournaments and have done their picks, etc. Our older son is at UVA, so the level of play isn’t the same, but the spirit is there. </p>
<p>I assumed our kids would go far away to school. S1 ended up someplace close almost by accident, but it has turned out to be a wonderful convenience with virtually no downside.</p>
<p>My son is 5 hours away, and it can be a bit of a pain. Right now he’s home on Spring break, but he’s been to the doctor twice this week because his on-again-off-again back pain flared up big time, and we’re not even sure he’ll be able to handle the 5 hour drive back to campus. I’ve been trying to contact someone I know who lives near campus to get recommendations for doctors and/or chiropractors in case the problem recurs once he gets back to campus. It would all be easier if he were closer to home.</p>
<p>On the other hand D (11th grade) has said for years that she wanted to go far away for college, but now she has fallen in love with a college only 40 minutes from home. It’s in Boston, which is a very different atmosphere from our little suburban town. She thinks going to this school will give her the “different” atmosphere and lifestyle she craves, while still giving her the convenience of getting home easily. I tend to agree with her. </p>
<p>So to the OP - even though UCLA is fairly close to you, is the surrounding area very similar to where you live? (Haven’t been to Southern Cali in 30 years, so sorry if that’s a dumb question).</p>
<p>I went to school about 30 minutes from my folks house.
I didn’t go home every weekend, I was busy. We all enjoyed the Sundays that I was able to come home for dinner. My folks were able to watch most of my college volleyball games. </p>
<p>I didn’t pick the school because of the location, but in retrospect, I’m glad that I picked a school close to home. I was the last kid in the house, so I hope it made it less lonely for them. Now that I’m a parent, I’m actually sorry that I didn’t go home more often, as that house must have been awful QUIET.</p>
<p>I am a bit jealous of parents who’s kid’s are close enough to come home for a weekend or spring break.</p>
<p>I went off to school about three hours away my freshman year. Through a series of circumstances I transferred back to a school five minutes away from home my junior year. I lived on campus and then in an off campus apartment.<br>
I had an agreement with my parents that I did not visit them unannounced and vice versa. Probably because I was older I really didn’t visit much. I had my own life and they had theirs.<br>
I would definiitely establish some ground rules and as a parent I would recommend making sure that your student knows you have your own life and activities (even if you have to get busy and become more social) so that they are not tempted to lean on you.</p>