88jm19 seriously “My suggestion: seek out and contact people in your community who are attending a southern school.” like you seek out a support group for kids with diabetes or nut allergies? it is part of the united states it is not like you are heading to a dangerous third world country.
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northerners being prejudice , saying and believing ignorant things about southerners is the last area in which intolerance is tolerated in the united states. has the guidance counselor or others with these opinions actually been to the places they spew stereotypes about?
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^^This
I’m a Californian who has lived in Alabama for several years now. There is no culture shock, unless you’re shocked by friendly people and seeing a bank, a pharmacy and/or an animal hospital on every corner. 
Well, you might be shocked when you order iced tea and don’t specify “unsweet tea”…but that’s about as shocking as it gets.
as with anywhere, there are going to be colleges mostly populated with “locals” and there are colleges that are populated with students from everywhere.
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Also, lots of comments about "Southern girls" with long blonde hair, beautiful wardrobes and wealthy families.
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Wow…those who stereotype need to stop contradicting themselves…they either paint the South as being filled with poor people with no teeth or rich beauties wearing designer clothes.
oh…and there’s a lot of girls in the South with brown hair…lol
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comes from an interfaith family (Judeo-Christian) and her last name is Jewish.
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BTW…since my father in law was Jewish, we have a Jewish last name. None of us, including our children who went to Alabama, have received any comments or ugliness because of our last name.
@zobroward I think the suggestion by @88jm19 is excellent and holds true no matter the scenario, whether it be about a college, or state, a place to work, a place to go on vaction, a restaurant, anyplace really. It’s always smart to go to speak to as many people as you can about something to at least give you food for thought. It may not impact your ultimate decision but at least you might have an idea of what to expect about a place. College is a huge investment and a very serious, life impacting decision that deserves a great amount of research and thought. You seem very defensive.
^^Grew up in NYC and my son just finished his first year at University of Alabama. Wonderful school with great facilities, school spirit, and generous merit scholarships. I highly recommend checking out the school and schedule a visit. There is no culture shock at all since the school is now majority OOS, with many from the NE, Mid-Atlantic, Midwest and California.
@mom2collegekids thanks for your input. I think in the end diversity will be important wherever she goes as a lack of diversity perpetuates stereotypes no matter where you live.
I was pretty shocked when I was volunteering in rural Georgia and a local asked me why there “were so many [slur word for Chinese people] around”. Unfortunately I’ve heard far more racial slurs in the South than anywhere in California or Denver where I currently live.
Thank you @NoVADad99 I have a brother-in-law who went to Alabama and we are considering that too 
I think the important thing I’m coming to is that a college with diversity is what we need, no matter where it is located.
Thanks for your honesty @whenhen. That’s what I’m trying to get at - not saying anything is true about all people from an area but is there a higher incidence of certain things.
dlcohen, sure if someone went to the specific school you are interested in ask away no matter where the school is located! about an entire region of the country that is bizarre. If you are just nervous about your daughter going off to college soon and the general angst that causes I get that. but to be concerned about the “south” is unfounded! I have spent a lot of time in CT and I would be more concerned with my child’s safety in the area around Yale in New Haven or Trinity in Hartford etc…
and just like mom2college kids said a lot of girls have brown hair (and a lot of black hair too) if your daughter does not want to attend a school in the south… cross that school of her/your list. if it is you with the issue or you are letting other peoples ignorance influence you , stop that from happening. your daughter wants to attend school in a region of the united states it is not a big deal! I feel the issue may be more about angst and the distance your daughter will be from you and less about the “south”
@mom2collegekids my husband went to college in western PA (admittedly over 20 years ago) and definitely felt the effect of comments re. being Jewish. So I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be concerned about going somewhere where there might be a higher incidence of that behavior (which doesn’t mean that the majority of people act that way but that maybe there is a bigger minority that acts that way).
We live in the South, but only one of the 5 of us was actually born here. I am from the Northeast, hubby is pure west coast (Cali and Idaho) and my two oldest were born and lived for some time in the PacNorWest (Puget Sound).
My D’s class was over 70% African American. I say this because what I have observed being a transplant myself is that while many wave a “progressive” flag, many also seem to become much more aware of color when the rubber meets the road. It is as if diversity is cool but only until it reaches a certain percentage. Tip over that, and then suddenly there’s the code speak of transfer to a “better school” “better neighborhood” etc, etc. (tough to defend when you are leaving the school with the most rigorous academic program in the district). I have not seen much difference between South, North, East or West when it comes to those sorts of latent prejudices. I have met a few blatant racists in my time here, but have met far more of the type just described.
Even after 13 years here, the top spots in my list of worst racists ever encountered are held by NJ, PA and California…, believe it or not.
Our area of VA has a solid gay community. Two Pride Fests scheduled this weekend, though there were cancellations due to storms/rain.
I don’t know where all the blonde, rich girls are hiding. Perhaps due to phenomenon described in second paragraph.
The toughest adjustment for her may be religious identity. I have found that to be where diversity is lacking, at least in my area. The southern concentrated faiths are dominant. I once had to pick up a gift for a confirmation and ran into a proprietor who “Doesn’t cater to the Catholics”. My oldest has run into some bias for being agnostic.
Other than that, I found that I had to moderate my speech some when we moved to the South. I had to learn to slow down my speech. I have talked with other Northeast natives that have run into the same thing. Our speech is too rapid and comes off as aggressive. And I did find that things move at a slower pace. I had t seriously work on impatience
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was volunteering in rural Georgia and a local asked me why there “were so many [slur word for Chinese people] around”.
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the key word there is “rural”. Rural areas, no matter where they are, often have people who still harbor narrow-minded thinking. That is far less true in more populated cities. That said, I am always shocked when I visit H’s family in Chicago area where they drop racist slurs often…and they all went to the “best schools”.
I grew up in Calif and if we EVER said something that approached racist, we would have had an upfront-and-personal experience with a bar of Ivory soap. However, Calif is filled with racist issues, too…there’s a lot of friction between whites, Hispanics, Blacks, and Asians.
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it is part of the united states it is not like you are heading to a dangerous third world country.
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^ This. I often wonder why so many parents worry about coming to the South, but have little fear about traveling abroad, especially to countries where rights aren’t protected and sanitation and other issues are iffy.
With all due respect @zobroward you are completely wrong. I would be thrilled with whatever she chooses. I just want her to be happy, and in fact if she chooses a school in the South I will be the first one jumping on the plane to go visit - not only to see her but to enjoy the scenery, history, architecture, culture and friendly people the South has to offer and that I truly love. That being said, the reason that I’m asking is because I want to hear honest answers to hopefully debunk all of the stereotypes that we are hearing which actually do make me very uncomfortable. I am trying to learn if it is the personal bias of the person saying them to me or if there are actual people out there that can tell me about their own personal experiences firsthand instead of relying on all of these generalities and stereotypes being thrown about by people I know and by people on this thread.
Thank you @Catmatmc!! That is exactly the type of response I was looking for - honest and insightful and I greatly appreciate it. Even if it comes down to educating my daughter on acclimating to a new place - still being herself but understanding where things MIGHT be different - is a good thing. Interesting about CA, NJ and PA although I know there are pockets of ignorance everywhere. My husband (being Jewish) had some experience in western PA where he went to college that lines up with that, although overall he had a great time and made many great friends.
dlcohen, " I would be thrilled with whatever she chooses. I just want her to be happy, and in fact if she chooses a school in the South I will be the first one jumping on the plane to go visit - not only to see her but to enjoy the scenery, history, architecture, culture and friendly people the South has to offer and that I truly love."
that statement is awesome.
Is most of Florida pretty liberal? At least in the cities? My top school is in Florida in a major city. It is a very large school, big campus, so I assume it is pretty open-minded. The city too. Someone warned me about the police being strict down there, but I wouldn’t go off campus much and I am not a mess-around kid.
dlcohen,
A thread that you may find helpful is this one:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/931514-colleges-for-the-jewish-b-student.html
Even if your D is not planning to participate in Jewish life in college, or is not a B student, I think you share some same concerns as other parents on this thread who are looking for colleges where their child will feel comfortable and accepted as part of a diverse student body. The thread is several years old and has included parents of students with different academic profiles ( some of the families with B students also have A student siblings). Although it addressed the the concerns of Jewish families, it has included posters who are not Jewish and who share similar concerns about their children finding a college that fits them well.
Elon and Wake Forest, University of Georgia, College of Charleston, U Alabama, are some of the colleges that have been discussed. Depending on your child’s academic profile, and whether or not your D wishes to participate in Jewish life on campus is of interest to your D, can also help with your selection of choices.
Seewanee- is also an excellent college that may fit your child. It does not have many Jewish students but it is an accepting place from what I have heard. Furman is another like this.
Since the posters on that thread have first hand experience about their children in some southern colleges, it may help you to also post your questions there too.
Being Asian from New Jersey, we are a little apprehensive about schools in the South. After being accepted by Duke, my son and I decided to check it out by paying a visit. It is fine school for sure. On our way back, we noticed this huge Confederate flag somewhere in southern Virgini along I-95, the first and only time we saw it in public. I am not saying this is a factor at all, but my son decided to stay in Northeast eventually.
Thanks @pennylane2011! I will check out that thread for sure. My daughter is an A student that isn’t an active participant in Judiasm but has grown up with both Jewish and Christian traditions and has attended a Unitarian Universalist church with me. She loves and respects everyone in her family and is sensitive to their differences. C of C, Elon and Wake Forest have all been recommended to us and I am interested in reading about Alabama. Thanks again!!
DS is attending University of AL, and since we’re from PA, guess we’re ignorant & racist. Amazing how people can’t defend one area without insulting another. [-X
I had huge concerns about the Greek system. My niece had a terrible time w/ her sorority. She felt it wasn’t for her, and the girls & their boyfriends made her life such a living hell, she left school. When I first signed up for UA FB page, and I hate FB, a true bastion of narcissism, I accidentally signed up for the kids page. There are some nasty kids on that site. AND they reinforce my opinions of the Greek system. I know there are a lot of great kids there as well, but I still don’t want my son in one or on a campus where the Greek system rules.
So that was my main concern for DS going south. I didn’t want him having to live on a campus with a huge Greek system. I was worried he would be forever an outsider. Time will tell how that works out for him, but we deliberately picked a dorm room with OOS kids who did not plan on going Greek.
You will find rude, ignorant, self-centered, racist, nasty people everywhere in the world. I have also found those who consider themselves great liberals to often be the most intolerant.
So find a school w/ a population of kids that you think you’re daughter can live with over 4 years, realizing people are a mixed bag no matter where they reside.