Students who must attend their safeties

Parents Forum
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<p>run2: It’s great that you’re opening up and talking on this thread. I hope you’ve read all the way through, and with particular attention to Kristin’s long posts. </p>

<p>Another important point that has been made is that there are many lesser known schools that have virtually all of the same characteristics as elite schools. Look at what you like about schools and then search (or ask here) for ones that maybe are less famous, maybe a step lower in selectivity, maybe in slightly less glamorous locations, and you can be very happy. Safeties don’t just mean going to the usual state schools, or giving up all of the things you want. </p>

<p>I will say that past the prestige factor probably the hardest thing about going to a low match or safety school is that by definition you will be in the top group of students there. This can be true for anyone - my D is .5 higher in GPA and 5 points higher in ACT than the average applicant to her safety, and she’s not a valedictorian - and it’s a legitimate worry, if we’re concerned about intellectual rigor. </p>

<p>But time after time we are told of the wonderful, exciting things that happen at schools that supposedly aren’t as rigorous or whose atmosphere is less intellectually oriented. We all know incredibly motivated and accomplished people at lesser known, lower stat schools. So as Kristin tells us, we’ll all have to accept that this feeling is a chip on our shoulder that we’ll just have to push aside. </p>

<p>Just as there are extremely intelligent and capable people at schools where you wouldn’t expect them, there also are apathetic and incapable people at schools that are supposed to have “only the best.” People are people, and there is an aspect where college will be college. If schools resemble each other in terms of programs, size, location, etc., we have to have faith the fact that the selectivity is a few notches different will not in the long run make that much of a difference.</p>

<p>Find a safety that you like, so you can go to college. That’s presumably the most important goal of anyone here, and it’s the only one whose outcome you can control.</p>

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<p>My son’s safety school offered him many perks for enrolling as they believed he was destined for top schools . He went to this safety although he did get into a number of top schools. Had an awesome four years and is off to a top grad school. </p>

<p>We had him apply to a number of schools and shook the dice. I recommend this approach to give yourself as many choices as possible. You just never know whats really going on in those adnission offices and who might love your application.</p>

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<p>I loved Kristin’s post, too.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the encouraging words guys, I’m more than happy to share my experiences with you with the hopes that they’ll also help someone else make what can often be a tough decision.</p>

<p>I’m in the process of applying to medical school right now (which is a task that’s approximately 10x more daunting than I initially thought) and have made a conscious effort not to apply to any school which I would be unhappy to attend. Obviously there are some I’d like to attend more–my current school’s med school, some big reaches, etc–but none of them is really at the bottom of the list. </p>

<p>I have a feeling that would be a good tactic for choosing safeties when applying to undergrad. Sure you can learn to love your school–I’m living proof of that, since I was sure I was going to hate mine–but if you can avoid having to learn that by choosing safeties you really like (even if you like other schools more), then I bet you’ll be that much better off. </p>

<p>So perhaps when it comes time to choosing safeties, it would be wise to give them as much attention and research as the reaches. As a few posts above this suggested, figure out what you like about certain schools and then find other lesser-known schools who share those characteristics. There are many more “safeties” out there than just your state’s big state school–and even though I’m thrilled to be where I am now, I wish I had realized that when I was applying!</p>

<p>Moral of the story: do your homework and research your safeties with the same gusto as you research your reaches. I have a feeling your mood will improve a lot!</p>

<p>Looking back, there’s definitely a lot to be said for attending one’s safety–again, all centering around a positive outlook and attitude adjustment. Rather than looking at my undergrad years as “what might have beens” at other schools, it’s much more gratifying to look at them for what they ARE, which are by far the most formative years of my life thus far. Plus, there’s something really satisfying about knowing that I rose to the challenge of making my last-choice-safety-school into something that I’ll always look fondly back on. </p>

<p>For your viewing pleasure, here’s a short list of some of the things I’ve done at that school that I thought no one ever did worthwhile things at:</p>

<p>-taken approximately half my classes through the Honors College (maintaining an overall GPA >3.8), with less than 50 kids per class, and with professors who have become outstanding advisors and mentors for me, both personally and professionally
-done 500+hr cancer research at an off-campus lab affiliated with my school’s biology department
-shadowed 2 oncologists for about 130h each at the cancer center affiliated with my school’s hospital system
-founded a non-profit organization working to improve health literacy (the ability to understand and properly use health information) of people in my town; the model for this program has been presented at local and national levels and has been very well received
-spend 2 years tutoring football, basketball, and soccer players
-300+h clinical research with one of the oncologists I shadow (paid position)
-studied abroad in Costa Rica (medical missions) and Florence (Renaissance art history)
-raised about $8,000 for a local women’s shelter as the philanthropy chair for my former sorority
-volunteered with an adoption agency as part of a year-long service-learning class
-held numerous high-quality campus-wide and Greek life leadership positions
-been initiated into a secret society that recognizes scholarship, leadership, and service at both university and larger levels (a great honor–about 20 out of my class of 5000 are chosen)</p>

<p>I’m not trying to brag–just trying to point out that it’s possible and probable to do all of the things you think you can only do at small, selective, pricey schools anywhere you end up. With a few merit scholarships and in-state tuition, I’ll graduate with <$8,000 in debt (thanks to generous parents and scholarships) and a laundry list of honors, accomplishments, and things to be grateful for.</p>

<p>I’m living proof–it can be done!</p>

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<p>Ahh yeah finding safeties I would be happy attending is hard throughout highschool, I well have had an aversion to homework and thus my grades suffered bigtime(2.7ish). Most of the schools I can peg as safeties kill the prestige factor/basic opportunities and my big state school(UMich) and possibly my second big state school (MSU) basically are no goes. Thus safeties are a bit hard to come by that bring a prestige factor with 'em. Yet I feel that I still have a good chance at most/all of my low reaches/match schools since I have decent test scores(32ACT) .However also to the early action response, most of my list are big OOS publics like Alabama and Minnesota and just about all of them allow you to apply now(5/12 done and counting). I guess though I am just really scared if I hit and miss all of my reach/match (really should be reaches with my gpa) schools what I will do minus community college.</p>

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<p>run2 - Are you concerned your choices all seem to be very big schools? You might want to try looking harder at some of the smaller non-flagship publics in the midwest. I know there are some in MI. There are many in WI that really are wonderful schools, with 8-12,000 students and much “homier” feel: UW Oshkosh, Stevens Point, Green Bay, etc. I know you have a big gap between your GPA and test scores, but with some good essays and recommendations I would think you could get in somewhere you’ll be very happy.</p>

<p>I bet you will have wonderful success in college, and even without the “prestige factor” you will be very proud of the work you do, and you’ll also enjoy the money you’ll save.</p>

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<p>WOW - run2, you are so cocky with a 2.7 gpa? What your discrepancy shows colleges is the you are lazy and, perhaps, rebellious. I hope you address the discrepancy somewhere in your application! </p>

<p>If your goal is prestige you had best starting to earn it!</p>

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<p>My daughter’s great friend will be attending her safety. As far as I can tell, she and her mother have not come to terms with it. Lots of weepy moments that aren’t entirely due to the thought of leaving home, fear of not fitting in, etc. It has taken me a while to figure out that the emotions are stemming from feelings that she should never have to be going to this school. I think they mourn for an answer of “what went wrong?”, even though the school she will be attending is a very well-regarded school. I thought all along that they neglected to to look for “fit”; they only cared about surface-deep reputations. My daughter chose a phenomenal LAC with tons of merit aid that she is thoroughly excited to be attending, but she told me she, too would be weepy if she were attending her 2nd choice school instead. Fit is king!</p>

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<p>Kristen you are a living breathing example of one of my favorite sayings:</p>

<p>“Attitude is EVERYTHING”!</p>

<p>Love reading you-hope S arrives at the place you have gotten to!</p>

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<p>Our son is attending one of his safeties, and he actually chose it over one of his reaches and a couple of his matches because he felt a connection to the place and felt sure he’d be happy there. His thought process, as I understood it, could be summed up as “I’d rather be a happy person looking for challenges than a challenged person looking for happiness.”</p>

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<p>Maybe I’m weird, but I didn’t have any safeties…I applied to two colleges, both I really loved and both similar in academics, and got into both. Or…maybe it was just that I had no reaches?</p>

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<p>Wow, that is a great saying. I’m going to remember that, maybe paint it on my wall.</p>