<p>"Different things work for different families and it's all ok"
Well said!</p>
<p>I am seeing CSNY at Woodstock and they are singing, "hopelessly helping her harlequin hovers nearby..." </p>
<p>MY biggest mistake was being so stupid that I thought the teacher recommendation letter would look nicer if it wasn't folded into thirds.</p>
<p>I proudly found some 8x11" envelopes and affixed a First Class Stamp on each. </p>
<p>S handed them to teachers, teachers said, "Thank you," and mailed them off on time. </p>
<p>EVERYONE READ THIS IF YOU're DOING THIS THIS YEAR>>>>>THEN I learned that if you have an oversized envelope, you need more postage by a few cents!! I thought I'd die.</p>
<p>THEN I freaked out all over CC. Everyone was so kind. It was my second or third post.</p>
<p>THEN, I sent in more stamps to the GC in case anything got returned to the school (one out of 24 sent letters came back to the school). </p>
<p>Schools pegged correctly as the family who sent in insufficient postage. Great for our reputation with the business office, before we even began a relationship.</p>
<p>EDIT: Apologia to CSNY. They sang, "Helplessly hoping.." Same thing, really.</p>
<p>"Great for our reputation with the business office, before we even began a relationship."
LOL! I'm sure they have forgotten!</p>
<p>Here's the part you don't seem to want to get, cgm. Some parents elect to help their extremely busy kids out by taking charge of the paper shuffling involved in applying to colleges. That is NOT to say that shuffling the paper is unimportant: It is vitally important, it is time consuming, and it must be done with care. But it's not something that requires personal judgment. So I prefer to give my son, whose schedule is extremely full, more time to do the things that do require personal judgment -- his schoolwork, practicing his instrument, writing his college essays (which were NOT 90% replicable), preparing his arts supplement, and devoting time to his other ECs and interests. And yes, I'm guilty of trying to help him carve out maybe 15 minutes a night to watch South Park. If your child had a less-packed schedule or preferred to do the administrative work associated with applying to colleges on her own, that is commendable and fine. But please do not judge that the system other families worked out is somehow inferior to the one your family has chosen, or corrupt.</p>
<p>"he takes pride that it isn't WE in some cases,"</p>
<p>In some cases, I couldn't agree more but this isn't one of them. Imagine that. ;)</p>
<p>Well, my biggest mistake was missing the finaid deadline of my son's favorite LAC by a couple of days.</p>
<p>My son's biggest mistakes was letting up on his grades for his midyears. </p>
<p>We both erred in not checking credentials early at the first school to which he applied ... which LOST his HS transcript.</p>
<p>It all worked out in the end ... but there were (inevitably) some nerve wracking moments.</p>
<p>In addition, cgm, NO OTHER PARENTS on this thread have made any snide remarks implying that theirs is the ONLY METHOD that should be used when students apply to college, besides you!
All we were posting was what what we did and what did or did not work for us. Why do you feel the need to add these kinds of comments-
"If I had stepped in and "done" for my kid, than too many cooks, etc"
"It is only as complicate as you want to make it"
"Yeah, it bugs me I guess when parents are saying We We We in this process, and yeah, some seem to be sensitive to that..."</p>
<p>which, unless you are linguistically tone deaf, can only be considered judgemental? Bravo that your daughter did it all herself, that was your family's decision. Are there any posts from other parents questoning your judgement? No, because the purpose of this thread was not to decide who had the best method for dealing with the college application process. And if you can't take the time to read your posts and correct your spelling before you hit the reply button, then how are we supposed to take you seriously[ as hard as that is anyway] Sheesh.</p>
<p>I'm not sure why some are busting the op's chops for helping out her kid...after all, it is a homeschooling situation. I know my d did not personally prepare and mail teacher/gc recs, transcripts or resumes. All of this was handled by her school counseling office. In the op's case, there is no school...only Mom.</p>
<p>During my d's senior year, I viewed myself as my d's administrative assistant. Yes....I bought the stamps and and stuffed the envelopes, stood in line to overnight the late scholarship apps, typed up cover letter drafts and did the other mundane tasks for which a senior carrying a full courseload of APs plus a zero hour class in addition to overwhelming ec responsibilities just did not have time. I refuse to apologize for it and I'd do it again.</p>
<p>Idmom06- The OP's chops are not being specifically busted. She is simply a proxy in a tired dispute that has also popped up on other threads.</p>
<p>Yes, that's the thing. The OP posted a really cute idea, happy for the first day of New Year. </p>
<p>It was fun and lighthearted.</p>
<p>nevermind, if you want to do your kids work, go ahead, I could care less, but at least be honest as to WHY</p>
<p>Q. The Hebrew name of a horned wild animal, probably the Urus.</p>
<p>A. What is a reem?</p>
<p>Re post 51:</p>
<p>Who are you to judge why a parent decides to help his/her child with the paperwork associated with applying to colleges? Who are you to suggest that every kid who does not do every bit of his/her application alone is lazy, and that the parent who helps is dishonest? Do you know how long a kid's school day is, whether he/she has a time-comsuming after-school job, a significant commitment to a sport, a music ensemble, a research project, a competition, a community service project, a club? Your kid may have a great deal of spare time. Others may not. You are breathtakingly judgmental.</p>
<p>judgemental? these kids have MONTHS and they make CHOICES about how to spend their time</p>
<p>my D was very busy, but planned her time, said, gosh NO somtimes, because HER applications were HER priority, if she missed a club meeting</p>
<p>I have spoken to lots and lots of parents of kids at my Ds school, with lots of EC, who play on teams, etc and few did much of anything of substance besides secretarial work- not wrting letters either, for their super busy kids</p>
<p>Those kids figured out that maybe missing a rehearsal wouldn't be the end of the world</p>
<p>So yeah, call me judgemental, I really don't mind at all....I just loath these excuses of oh so busy, as if the applicant had no control over their own lives or schedules</p>
<p>Super busy, sure, unable to say no to a meeting or such, guess so</p>
<p>I believe that many of us have stated here and elsewhere "WHY." You don't like our reasons, but that does not make us dishonest.</p>
<p>Can we let this go now?</p>
<p>"I could care less"
then repeat that to yourself before you post in the future, because there obviously is a disconnect between that statement and your need to express your opinions about what others do.</p>
<p>Well, cgm, I'm delighted that your kid is up for sainthood. Mine's not. Signing off.</p>
<p>MODERATOR EDIT: </p>
<p>The College Confidential Terms of Service include the clause: </p>
<p>"General Behavior. Our forum is expected to be a friendly and welcoming place, and one in which members can post without their motives, intelligence, or other personal characteristics being questioned by others." </p>
<p>There has been a clear violation of that in the post I am now editing. I remind all other participants in the thread that if you see a post that violates that clause, tell the moderation team about it in a report (via the "Report Problem Post" link on the offending post) rather than respond in kind on the thread. Otherwise, moderator action might have to be taken on your posts. </p>
<p>Please, everyone, consider the possibility that several participants here have already brought up: that families resolve these division of labor issues differently from one another, according to unique family circumstances. There is no reason to disparage another parent for taking a different approach to college applications from the one you take.</p>
<p>Aw, gosh. During autumn of my son's senior year, he had just skipped up from 10th grade. Suddenly senior. No time to visit colleges. 4 AP's. Thought he'd do a gap year in Israel. Simultaneously applied to 4 Israel programs, dealt with Visas, wrote overseas, wrote local scholarship applications to drum up money for the gap year that never happened. </p>
<p>Also: he applied to 8 colleges/unis that also required Supplemental Arts Portfolios (creative major). I was in physical therapy for followup from a back surgery, he was cooking dinner and driving me to appointments. He had a national position in a synagogue youth group that required conference calls, out-of-town travel, hosting sweaty kids here in sleeping bags. He trained a big dog for me so there'd be protection once he left town. The places he wanted to go were beyond my comprehension financially and I had to figure out if we could afford, both financially and emotionally to send him across the country in case he got in there. He couldn't have possibly researched that, and if he had, I wouldn't have been convinced by his data.</p>
<p>ALL of this was going on simultaneously.</p>
<p>In other homes, grandparents died, kids got sick, GC's were overloaded, all the things you read about because you read it all.</p>
<p>I also helped him conceive his first essays, his second essays, but he didn't need me any more by essay number l8. I read and admired his arts portfolios, suggested which pieces to include, realized I didn't know c**p about it, spent an evening convincing him to go to get better advice from his English teacher, coached him to thank his English teacher properly. He comforted me when I wept over losing the last kid from the household. </p>
<p>I think we both knocked ourselves out. Some nights I did his work, other nights he did mine. To parse it all out is like trying to unscramble eggs.</p>
<p>A year later, I gave some brief "gut response" essay help to one of his school friends, and I am in awe of her. She made her own spreadsheet, her parents barely know where she's applying, she got into two places so far, and I'm cheering for her.</p>
<p>Who is a more worthy student? If you know the answer to that, we have a basic disagreement. I think they are equally worthy.</p>
<p>I bought my kid envelopes and stamps. You bought your underage D and friends champagne. Don't judge my priorities, and I won't judge yours.</p>