<p>With two children successfully admitted to college, I want to express my gratitude to everyone on CC. You've been great virtual companions through the process. There's some misinformation on these boards, to be sure, but also a lot of help and moral support.</p>
<p>A few observations. The application process is unrelentingly and unnecessarily grueling. The "uncommon application" (as I call it) is a joke. Why can't all of the selective schools have a common supplement? Does that special essay for School A or B really make a difference? And the SAT is another farce. Both of my kids boosted their verbal scores by exactly 80 points, one from 660 to 740 and the other from 720 to 800, after 2 or 3 sessions with a private coach. A good investment for me at $150 an hour, but what about all the students who lack access to such an advantage? And what can I say about the colleges who recruit like crazy to get you to apply, only to reject 90% (or more) of the applicants.</p>
<p>The story had a happy ending for my family, as child # 1 is very happy at his chosen school, and child #2 got into one of his top choices. Will this make a difference 20 years from now? Who knows.</p>
<p>To those who are beginning the process, try to keep your sanity, don't believe everything you read on CC, and I wish you and your children the best of luck.</p>
<p>I’m the applicant not the parent. Reading your post made me laugh because most people can’t achieve this knowledge till they’ve been through the process and won’t believe you right now if they are about to go through the process.
I’ve been through the college admissions game twice now, once as a senior in high school and once as applying to transfer this past year. So basically since July 2008 to now (I’m not quite done just yet) I’ve been embroiled in this high stakes game of admission. I can say it hasn’t done much for my sanity and I feel I am much more jaded now than before. The irony of course is that this time around with acceptances has been harder on me emotionally than all of six rejections I got coming out of high school. And despite my elation at being admitted, I am also more bitter about the decisions. And I know all the reasons, I just refuse to admit them to myself.
I hope that in a few weeks, I can say that I am no longer a cynical nervous wreck about to crash and burn. And when I have kids, I’ll be able to guide them through this process better.</p>
<p>Yes and thousands of kids apply to a couple colleges and/or universities, enjoy their senior year and go happily off to college in August. I’m not sure I’m willing to put college/uni admissions into the category of “high stakes game.” There is a ton of great information on these forums but there is also a ton of mis-placed anxiety.</p>
<p>For me it was/is a high stakes game. For one, my parents couldn’t afford to get me $150 an hour private tutors. Second, as an only child, I have added pressure to do extremely well, especially when you factor in the whole “the American Dream” for immigrant families. And college is part of my future, if I don’t consider my own future to be high stakes/important–then what should I be worried about?</p>
<p>^^Important but not “high stakes” it’s more about individual potential than anything and starting salaries are much more tightly clustered than people think. You’ll do great! I don’t mean to diminish your feelings, perhaps more reassure you.</p>
<p>Yes, I agree with momof3boys: by saying it’s not ‘highstakes’, the message to you is that you can and will do very well in a very very wide range of college paths despite the mythology out there. </p>
<p>Contrary to the voices of highschoolers on CC and popular media (and what some immigrant parents might unduly worry about), the correlation between the ‘rank or prestige’ of the college you get into and your future success is pretty small compared to a giant ton of other factors. </p>
<p>Hang out on the parent forum some more: you will come to be (hopefully!) reassured that getting into “top X” or “ivy” does not make or break your future. I don’t think that will take away from your motivation, but it might relieve some anxiety.</p>
<p>My comment is this: have a kid apply a few places early action, places where the kid will get in. Dramatically reduces the pressure come April if you’re in somewhere.</p>
<p>I think that would make it even worse. I think a lot of the low-acceptance rate / longer wait list is due to the commonapp in the first place. A good idea in theory but bad in practice.</p>
<p>I’m not sure that private coaching at $150/hour is necessary to achieve a significant improvement in SAT scores. Our kids used versions of the Xiggi method, taking practice tests from the College Board book. From spring of junior year to fall of senior year D1 improved M+CR by 150 points, S1 improved by 150 points and S2 improved by 110 points. If the student has the motivation to study and work through the books, I don’t think that private tutors are necessary. While $150/hr is out of reach for many people, the cost of the study book shouldn’t be.</p>
<p>Another parent who is done with admissions, after guiding 2 kids thru the process.</p>
<p>My meditation on college admissions: if your kid doesn’t ace the SAT the first time around, skip the expensive coaches and try the ACT. With a little basic practice using the FREE questions on the ACT website, your kid can get familiar with the ACT’s format. I think it’s a lot less coachable than the SAT. D took it twice and got the exact same score both times. Don’t play the SAT’s mind games - take the ACT, which actually tests what you know, not how well you can figure out what the CollegeBoard wants.</p>
<p>I like the concept of the Common App, but in practice it’s a lot more complicated than the individual apps, at least for the schools my kids applied to.</p>
<p>Also, get the idea of the “perfect college for me” out of your head. No place is perfect. Some are better fits for you than others. But there isn’t one “perfect” college that if you don’t find it and don’t get in your life is ruined. There are many colleges most kids could attend and be happy.</p>
<p>^^Yes my son was no fan of the Common App either…he thought it was a navigational nightmare and restrictive and difficult to personalize for each college which he thought was important.</p>
<p>"Picking a college isn’t high stakes - picking a wife/husband is! Anybody got a $150/ hour tutor for THAT! "</p>
<p>In certain orthodox Jewish communities, and in some Indian (India) and Moslem communities, you can pay for a “tutor” for picking a spouse…but I don’t know what their hourly rate is!</p>
<p>Maybe it’s because I’m still young but I think my future is high stakes. I still need to learn more about the world, refine my personal beliefs, meet more life-long friends. It isn’t so much which college I’ll be going to, it’s about what I will be doing with the next two years of my life. I know how precious life is, and I think trying to live it to the fullest and be happy is high stakes.</p>
<p>I, too, would like to chime in my thanks to the community of College Confidential. My last kid has made her decision and is off to a university which we believe is an excellent choice for her. </p>
<p>Because of CC, my family learned two important things: 1) It’s the fit, stupid, not the ranking! 2) love thy safeties and matches.</p>
<p>Both my children were B/C students and had 1/2 ECs with SATs in the mid-600s. They attended a competitive high school and, at the start of the college search process, felt they had no chance at any college.</p>
<p>Because of CC, my hubby and I were able to convince them that there were hundreds of terrific schools out there that would welcome them. We spent lots of time looking at colleges of every shape and stripe to figure out what they were looking for in a school. We got some terrific suggestions from CC folks. </p>
<p>My DS got admitted to 6/7 schools and my DD got admitted to 7/8 schools. They only applied to schools that they loved. ( Another CC gem of wisdom: don’t waste time applying to schools you don’t want to go to) The hard part came when they had to decide which school to attend! But they made the decision, confident in the knowledge that any of the schools would be a terrific choice.</p>
<p>I disagree. The fact is that the vast majority of students apply to only a few schools - two to four. There are only a few people who apply to more than that, and in that case, it’s there prerogative. The schools that require many essays have many applicants and have to distinguish between students. Essays give students room to express themselves even if their application doesn’t otherwise stand out in the crowd. I actually prefer the common application/supplement form, because it gets drudge work out of the way, then allows each college to customize their application. If all the schools had a common supplement, everyone would apply to every school, and the admissions committees would have even less of an idea about who was going to work for their school. Not to mention, it would be really boring.</p>
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<p>You could have easily done this with study books, as other posters have said. I increased my SAT by 170 points for $12 and about ten hours of my time. Generally, I on’t think SAT tutoring or coaching is all it’s cracked up to be. The coaches are using the exact same methods as McGraw-Hill and Princeton Review, they are just charing you $150 an hour for their presence. The key here, though, is getting students who can’t afford that to understand that they can accomplish the same results on their own - there is definitely the “understanding” among the public that private SAT coaching is better.</p>
<p>The college admissions process is stressful if you allow it to be stressful. I finished everything early, had a functioning organization system, and choose schools willingly without giving a damn about rankings (WashU and GW were my top choices for most of the time). I completed the entire application process by myself, without my mom. I’m not trying to brag, but it can become a monster it doesn’t have to be. It’s like tax time. Yeah, it sucks, and it’s complicated. But start early, stay organized, and choose the right preparer - then it doesn’t have to be a mad race to the finish.</p>
<p>We had an interesting college acceptance story. D got into most of her reach schools and was waitlisted at all her matches and even her safeties. I am a single mom and we have an EFC of zero. I insisted she apply to any need blind schools she would consider attending and all of those were pretty reach-y. She is an outstanding student and will be attending Harvard in the Fall with a full financial aid package. I would suggest any good students with limited financial means to apply to some of the top ranked, wealthy schools. We had our best luck there and anyone who tells me Harvard is for rich stuck up people will get a big argument from me.</p>