<p>this may not belong in this forum but maybe you guys will have some ideas??
my youngest son (currently in grade 8)has real trouble with school but alot of it is not his fault. Not putting all my faith in standardized tests but he will routinely score in the 30th-40th percentile. His writing is illegible, his reading skills are poor BUT he is given A's and B's for school work that will be illegible..even with comments stating can not read.
His school does not have individual textbooks, just a classroom copy. He cant study for mid terms because he cant read his own notes and doesnt have a textbook.
For years i have asked the school to stop giving him A's as i can not motivate him to do better when no matter what he hands in he gets a passing grade. He would be a C student if he worked at it. his only help has been speech pathology but he hasnt ever tested as needing more services than that. He just isnt an academic, but give him something to take apart, or a video game etc and he loves it.
How can i make the school understand they are basically sabotaging any efforts we make to get him to improve. I should add that if given extra time, he can make his writing legible but he insists if he wrote that way in class he wouldnt get the notes taken (just not enough time)
I am not putting this all in the lap of the school, he definitely doesnt like school and really wont put in effort (ie hides assignments, wont turn them in etc) but then again he passes so why should he (in his mind)</p>
<p>I have a friend who had the similar problem - may I add her son sucessfully graduated from HS June 2008 and is currently in college. Some of things she did were: (1) Her son was required to keep an assignment log and it was to be signed by every teacher every day so she could see what assigments were given. (2) SHE made him rewrite every messy assignment so it was legible so he learned to do it neatly the first time. (3) She required him to complete projects ahead of time for her to review and required him to fix, revise or rework ALL work that SHE felt was not quality. That way the school couldn't accept poor quality work because it was quality by the time they received it. (4) She filed a form 504 with the school which works here in Michigan (I don't know if other states have it but the counseling staff can help you with that). It requires the school to take extra steps to help students who need the extra help. (5) She looked into (but never persued it) allowing her son to have a laptop in school to take notes so he could actually read his notes. (6) She took her son to the doctor - although he showed no signs of ADD, ritalin type drugs helped him improve the ability to get his thoughts out of his head and on to the paper much easier. Maybe if the simple things like taking notes become easier, he will like school more. Hang in there!</p>
<p>Would a private school be an option at all? I am generally in favor of public education, but for some kids it just does not work... Maybe there is some LD that needs to be diagnosed?</p>
<p>Not all kids have to be academics, but all have to learn some basic skills (writing, math, etc.) to be marketable/employable in the future...</p>
<p>You might post this query on the learning challenges board. If I were you, I'd ask the school to evaluate him for special ed. services. With a 504 he might get extra time on tests, for instance. He may just be a late bloomer who needs support during high school and who may do quite well later. I know you said he didn't test as needing services, but I'd fully explore what you can get them to do with regard to accommodations. </p>
<p>If the school is uncooperative, you can pay to have a private neuropsychologist evaluate him - your health insurance may cover this - and then provide the results to the school for their consideration.</p>
<p>If you don't get anywhere w/the middle school, begin now to contact the HS about 504s. Good luck!</p>
<p>thanks so much for the ideas. We have had him tested both by the school and by private. Private found him to be oppositional defiant (which really wouldnt have as much impact on his schoolwork as it definitely has on our ability to get him to do what we ask)
Private school isnt an option locally.
I like the idea of an assignment log being signed by the teacher. He has an agenda that he is supposed to write his homework and assignments in BUT he just doesnt write them in there and i dont know what is due. So getting a teacher signature each day would solve that problem (why didnt i think of that)
Rewriting assignments is already part of what i ask, but entails screaming and yelling everytime as again"why should i? i'll pass if i just hand it in like this?"
Talking to the hs now may be a great idea, H and I also wondered about insisting he be held back in 8th (as much as we hate the idea) as each year he will just get more frustrated if he doesnt have the basics. If i ask him basic math questions ie what happens if you add/mult two negative numbers, he doesnt know the answer and with no textbook cant review as we go along.</p>
<p>How about purchasing an inexpensive used pre-algebra textbook for use in your home?</p>
<p>Here are some from amazon:</p>
<p>Amazon.com:</a> pre-algebra</p>
<p>and the reults of a search at bookfinder.com:</p>
<p>ADad just found a program you talked about on another forum.. PACE, clicked on the link...looks like some of the skills they talk about are exactly what he needs, but dont see info on where or how it is available?</p>
<p>I know it's a small thing and not the heart of the problem, but could be contributing. Has his vision been checked lately? Maybe correction is needed.</p>
<p>not a small thing at all, and will admit to poor parent skill here...in the middle of one of many arguments re schoolwork he mentioned is eyesight and i poo-pooed it as just another excuse... a few weeks later though did take him for eye exam and he did need glasses for distance. but hasnt made any difference.</p>
<p>In my opinion, holding him back in 8th grade will surely backfire. It's too late in the game to hold him back a year. The positives won't outweigh the negatives. </p>
<p>Bring the results (in writing) from the private to the school and request that the school do another round of testing on your son. At the very least, he should qualify for counseling and OT (for his lack of writing skills). </p>
<p>For the future, perhaps look into BOCES tech. (vocational training) in high school. I don't know if this option is available in your public high school but often times, students can begin to attend a vocational school for part of the school day for 11th and 12th grade. Unfortunately, many schools have dropped this option but it's a great option for the mechanically inclined yet academically challenged. The kids learn a trade (car mechanics, woodworking/building, electrician's trade, computer repair cosmetology, LP nursing, etc.) while completing their high school graduation requirements. Not every kid has college ambitions.</p>
<p>right now at least, school system does have vocational training and that was something H and I also discussed. I think it is a great option for him. I just want to be sure that is what is good for him....not just assume that it is. Maybe if we can find something that helps now he could have more options?<br>
What about Sylvan tutoring? (anyone have any experience with a good tutoring program), he will be resistant but like a previous poster said, maybe if he got improvement even in some of the basic skills he would like school more.<br>
Right now it seems all our input is becoming "negative" but i cant keep saying great job for those A's, that really shouldnt be A's.</p>
<p>It sounds as though at this point in time, he's going to be resistant to everything. Have you considered boarding school? Perhaps a different environment combined with having to abide by rules set by the new school/counselors/teachers rather than by you and your husband is something to consider.</p>
<p>thought about it, but he is adopted and already having a hard time with "you arent my real parents...why didnt my mother want me". throw in age 13 and you have an idea of the arguments in this house sometimes. we are really worried he would see a boarding school as another abandonment.<br>
For a while we did a little better with homework etc when we put him in the after school program, ie homework was done before i picked him up, under the supervision of teachers (but he soon learned not to write his homework in the agenda so it wasnt checked) and this year the school budget does not have an afterschool program for the middle school.</p>
<p>I have a few thoughts....</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Is this problem a long term one? Or has it become more apparent in 8th grade? I hate to say it, but 8th graders tend to be "feeling their oats" so to speak. They can be a difficult lot.</p></li>
<li><p>Oppositional Defiant Disorder CAN affect school performance...a LOT. It may not be that the student is acting oppositional at school, but that student may not be completing work etc (which IS oppositional). Hiding assignments, etc. is a characteristic of these kids.</p></li>
<li><p>OT and counseling are related services. This youngster would have to have a special education primary service to have a related service through the schools. OT and counseling are not "stand alone" special education services. Counseling "can" be one, but there would also need to be educational impact and therefore a special education program. It sounds like the educational needs have not been determined to be there. This is what you need to address with the school. They need to look closely at this child's work and progress. But remember too...average is average...it's not significantly below grade level. Is this student significantly below grade level.</p></li>
<li><p>Some kids are much better "hands on" learners...and workers. Where I live we have a fabulous vocational technical high school where many of these kids thrive and either go into a trade or enter four year colleges. Is there something like that where you live?</p></li>
<li><p>For the $ amount per hour at Sylvan, you can probably hire someone privately who will be working with YOUR kid on HIS needs. </p></li>
<li><p>Have you considered counseling...both for this youngster and the family to help him understand himself better and to help others work with him? This might be worth pursuing. </p></li>
<li><p>He's in 8th grade. He should be using a computer for most of his written work at this point. Is he? That is the standard at most places now. Most written work is simply NOT written by hand. He should be working on a typing program to improve his keyboarding skills (Type to Learn is a good one).</p></li>
<li><p>What DOES this youngster do well (sports, art, music, computers...something?)?</p></li>
</ol>
<p>thanks thumper1 answers:
1. long term problem i have been addressing with school since grade 2 but getting worse with thrown in adolescent attitude now
2. thank you for that insight, as he wasnt getting in trouble with teachers over discipline etc, i hadnt thought of the hiding of homework etc as related to his ODD.
3. He was in chapter 1 for reading but "passed" early in grade school, he has continued in speech but school says he doesnt "qualify" for any other needs. Even though is current mid term grade in science is 55, math 56 . Midterms are in 2 weeks and he has never passed a mid term exam. (but again the disconnect is he will pass to the next grade with b's etc)
7. He does use the computer at home, typing skills are ok (spelling poor) but it is his class notes that he writes while in class and those are illegible<br>
8. He does well on video games, relatively well in band, likes sports but quits because he doesnt want to go to practices,</p>
<p>Is the family in counseling? If not, it's something to consider.</p>
<p>not now, when he was about 5 we did, due to ODD and some other problems with fire etc. tried a medication didnt help, and eventually stopped med and counselling, may well be time again.</p>
<p>I would suggest that you speak with a professional in person. The issues you describe seem too complicated to solve by posting on a public message board. Good luck to you.</p>
<p>agree, thumper, just searching for ideas.</p>
<p>It's time for professional counseling for your son and for your family. Try to find a child psychiatrist who is experienced in dealing with the problems associated with adoption. The issues that you have mentioned here should be dealt with ASAP with a professional. Good luck and please do not put off making the appointment to start the process of dealing with these issues.</p>