<p>I've just noticed that my son will be rooming in a suite next year with a student whose father is prominent in the area my son thinks he wants to work in--publishing.</p>
<p>Those internships are hard to get, and here he is, with far better connections that I could imagine. Despite that, he's asking me if he can work in my school this summer, despite the fact that being a teaching assistant is not a job he aspires to. I just think it's the easy route to take.</p>
<p>How do you talk a child into pulling the strings he has in front of him?</p>
<p>Sounds like your son had not established any sort of relationship with the man's son. This would be awkward to say the least even if they did become friends.</p>
<p>First of all, it appears that your son has not even met this future roomie. How did you find out about the parent's occupation?</p>
<p>The last thing you want to happen is for your son to start "hitting" on this boy, and seem like an opportunistic person. You can hardly expect the future roomie to set something for your son this summer without them even being friends. </p>
<p>Let them room together, and perhaps become friends FIRST. I understand that Journalistic internships are hard to come by; has your son shown an interest in the field by shadowing or doing any similar work? Does his coursework reflect his interests? Is he involved in the school publications in a big way?</p>
<p>My friend's D rooms next door to a VERY FAMOUS actor's D. He would be horrified if roomies and other people on the floor started asking for his help. Uuuggghh.</p>
<p>Oops..didn't make myself clear, I guess. At his school, kids enter into a room draw with friends after their first year. This boy certainly IS a new friend (I heard his name first way back in the fall as they were on their way to a concert in a city three hours away together). I agree that one shouldn't "hit on" someone else too soon; that's an obvious given. Please don't jump to conclusions that we are bumpkins salivating at the famous person trough; he went to school in NYC and has met more than his share through his school. </p>
<p>Furthermore, we provided two students from his college with internships at my school and one student with housing for another internship. We do our part.</p>
<p>It's silly to assume that friends don't help friends; that's the way many an internship is landed. My question should have been clearer: what do you do when a child is too SHY to pursue options with FRIENDS that less shy students do with no problem?</p>
<p>First of all, it appears that your son has not even met this future roomie. How did you find out about the parent's occupation?
<<</p>
<p>I first heard the boy's name in October as he was taking my son with him to a concert in a large city 2.5 hours a way--in a CAB. My son then told me who the kid was and who his father is. </p>
<p>They are rooming together next year because they chose to.</p>
<p>My son is just like yours. It's very hard to get him to initiate this sort of conversation. Would he feel better about asking his roommate something on the order of "I am really interested in your Dad's field. Do you think he can give me any pointers about looking for an internship this summer?" That way he's not asking directly for an internship, but the opportunity is there for his Dad to offer one.</p>
<p>Okay then, you did make it sound like they do not know each other at all.</p>
<p>and I don't know who you are calling silly? You never said that the boys were friends in your OP.</p>
<p>My D's roommate has offered her an internship several times, at her mom's place of business, but my D has wanted to prove that she could get one on her own. Perhaps she would have used it as a last resort, I do not know. So most certainly internships can arise from friends, neighbors, and other connections. Sometimes one gets offered, other times one has to be sophisticated yet humble enough to ask for help. (It's not an easy thing for 19-20-year-olds to do)</p>
<p>But since the boys are friends from last year, I assume that your son already knew that the other dad was in this important position. And that the other boy already knows of your son's interest in this career. So, maybe your son could mention that he is looking for a summer internship, and could he pass on his resume to his father?</p>
<p>Last year 2 of my D's friends asked my H for internships. Since he was about to leave that company, he forwarded their resumes to the appropriate people at work.</p>
<p>*My question should have been clearer: what do you do when a child is too SHY to pursue options with FRIENDS that less shy students do with no problem?
*</p>
<p>this is a good question
however- when students are in college- I feel it is important that they have ownership of their path, and don't feel they are being hurried along the way.</p>
<p>Some kids need to take smaller steps, it might be frustrating for parents to observe this, but I feel it is more frustrating for the young person, who may need to move a little slower for a while, be pushed by other adults to meet their expectations.
Now I don't know any of the people involved, but is the student asking for help?</p>
<p>I think it is far better for the student to develop networking skills, and to have his own motivation for doing so.
A job which isn't quite in his interest level, may teach other things, and give him the motivation to find future jobs that are more in his area.
When you start pushing kids into things, where does it stop, and when do they get the opportunity to make their own mistakes?</p>
<p>A good friend of mine has an H who is a VP at a well-known international company, one if his local clients asked him about an internship for his son, the friend offered the info to get the sone into the process (son still had to earn the spot, but was pretty much a shoe-in. H then asked the same client about an internship at HIS company for VPs daughter. So they traded internships for the kids, but both kids are good students, good grades, and good social/work graces- very slight risk of a faux paus.</p>
<p>think it is far better for the student to develop networking skills, and to have his own motivation for doing so.
A job which isn't quite in his interest level, may teach other things, and give him the motivation to find future jobs that are more in his area.
When you start pushing kids into things, where does it stop, and when do they get the opportunity to make their own mistakes?<<</p>
<p>I mostly agree with what you say. I've found that so many parents DO help their kids with things like this--after all, this is CC where parents seem to do everything from carry the pencils to the SAT to micro-managing the application process. We're not those parents; we've been hands-off and watching from the sidelines. Frankly, though, that's made this son a little mad, and although he has trouble accepting it, he'd sometimes like a little help.</p>
<p>Try to get the internship for next summer. I am sure that anything for this summer would be full.</p>
<p>That way your son could get to know the parent better, perhaps discuss his plans for his major. But I do think that your son will have to ask for it. </p>
<p>My d is a soph. Everyone one of her friends got their internships this summer because of someone that they knew. My d sent out over 50 resumes. The only interviews that she got, were ones where she had some sort of connection--knew someone. Not saying that she got offered internships because she knew someone--but it got her into an interview.</p>
<p>If they want help- it is totally different
Even if you have to ask them- do you want my help? What do you want help with?
It is different IMO than when they * don't* want help.</p>
<p>Of course they should be making connections, but what I was concerned about what someone who might be resisting the help, or stepping back because someone else was taking over.</p>
<p>There is some element of luck involved, not just connections. Most schools have career and placement services, and usually students that get involved in the process at the start of the academic year land internships for the following summer. Good grades go a long way towards scoring the better internships.</p>
<p>My S who is just graduating from HS was able to get a summer internship from something he pursued relentlessly through an online link. It pays minimum wage, but he would have done it for no $ either.</p>
<p>My D has also been very successful, and is in the enviable position of being able to choose.</p>
<p>No connections were used at all. Not too many people have connections of the right kind. Perhaps we here on CC are among the more connected? Idk. I myself have none. My H does, but he tells our kids that they have to learn on their own. </p>
<p>Were they lucky? Sure. But they also went after these opportunities heart and soul.</p>
<p>just a suggestion, but your son could use his journalistisic talents in a State department . It would be unpaid, but interns get a lot of exposure to writing letters, political announcements etc.</p>