Supplement essay

Colleges and Universities A-Z Wellesley College
1

I’m wondering if my essay would work, it is short currently. Please have a look at it. :smiley:

Firstly because Wellesley College has something that differentiates itself from other universities and colleges—woman only student body. In this singular women environment, chosen women who are all trying to make a difference in a man-ruled society can give support to each other like no other and has potential to form a bond that transcend the usual “college mate” boundary and be lifelong. Especially with various events and traditions Wellesley College holds for students to connect deeper, the students are extraordinarily situated to get to know better and get close with each other. It is beautiful to imagine a diverse group of girls from different backgrounds and of different viewpoints come together and create incredibly tight and unshakeable relations and go through challenging times together and grow together.
In addition to glowing opportunity to find best friends for good, Wellesley College offers fine combination of outstanding academics and practical experience for students. Through core curriculum that involve pieces of every major fields in a small class, students get to broaden their mind and have a lively class with free discussions with the professor. Adding to the intellectual stimulation and growth, Wellesley College provides unmatched internship opportunities around the world with PAY for equal fostering of practical knowledge. As a result, students can delve into their interests deeper and get to discover what it would like in practice. Moreover, students could gain insights and lessons from trying their passions out there which would be exceedingly gratifying and inspirational for future pursuits. At the annual Tanner Conference, students who had interned and worked get opportunity to share the experience as well as impression one had during their experience to fellow participants and Wellesley faculty, while learning about peers’ different experiences in diverse disciplines and keep up with contemporary trends in different fields.

2

You shouldn’t post your actual essay because you don’t want to be accused of plagiarism! My suggestion would be to take it down asap

3

I concur with the previous post, though I’m not sure the system will allow you to remove your draft essay now. And if you’re a senior, it’s too late anyway since applications were due yesterday.

All that being said, here’s some free feedback:

  • The draft talks about a lot of Wellesley characteristics, but says nearly nothing about YOU.
  • Think about why Wellesley is a good fit for you and communicate that.
  • The Admissions Committee wants you to “Help us discover who you are through your application essays”.

Read Wellesley’s tips for Application Essays here: https://www.wellesley.edu/admission/esp/firstyear/essays

Good luck!

4

This essay would explain why anyone would want to attend Wellesley. You are telling Wellesley stuff about Wellesley that they already know.

But it says nothing about you, except perhaps, that you didn’t understand what the admissions department asked for, or even perhaps that you don’t really want to attend because you aren’t giving them any reason to accept YOU.

Sorry if this sounds harsh. There are 1000’s of kids who answer this question this same way, and dozens of these applicants will get accepted anyway