We’re going through this with our daughter now after she put in so much work and effort over four years to feel like it was a complete waste. And for those of you upset that have to resort to “state” schools, think of the unfortunate students like my daughter in California who cannot even get into the state schools despite excellent credentials. Their choices are to go to community college for 2 years and lose half of their college experience, or go out-of-state and go into substantial debt. Getting into the California schools has reached the point of insanity.
As others who have been there can tell you, in the end, the college or university you attend is not going to define you or your future life. Yes, certain “elite” schools might offer you a few more doors to open, but once you graduate college, it is all going to be on you to show they made the right decision to hire you. Going to “non-elite” schools with a more diverse student body is really going to prepare you for going out into the work world where employees from all over with different backgrounds have to regularly prove their worth. Many employers have found not all students who went to “Top 20” schools are going to succeed.
Use this rejection as the drive you need to prove them all wrong! Get great grades, work internships, and enjoy the college life and then when you go back to your 5-year and 10-year high school reunion show your classmates who wound up better in the end!
I really like that there is this thread. As a mother and a counselor myself, I have seen my own child going through the challenging time and some of my students going through the hard work, great expectation and disappointment. It is a brutal process.
But what I want to share is the name or the ranks of the college does not decide on success. The college admissions followed their yardstick and instinct to pick the ones they think they fit the school, but they are not sure themselves. It is a job for them and they have to pick. But they did not pick someone’s lifetime success.
Many of my students achieved amazing success after they graduated from a college they were disappointed way back. One is now a rising political star now in the state.
You did not waste your time. You worked hard and gained a lot. These are long term success skills. I am root for you!
This March our family went through similar heart breaks as you all described… I really wished if I could find a parent or someone with similar situation to talk and share the sadness. I am a mother. My daughter is Asian (Indian) went to a top school, has great GPA, ACT and SAT subject scores. Took 14 APs, won international award, varsity debater spending almost whole weekends traveling to debate, math team, varsity sports, volunteered and started own clubs etc. she is waitlisted at MIT and one Ivy, rejected from Hopkins, Vanderbilt, NW and Uchicago. Thanks to the state schools accepted her with lots of scholarships.
I read here in the tread one parent saying “ what did we miss” . Is it our lack of knowledge about college admissions resulted in this experience. Her classmates who are first gen/ etc got acceptance from everywhere and was difficult for them to choose. She is my only child. She came here when she was 3 y old. Since I went to college back in my country, she is not first generation. I don’t know anything about college admission here and my D has to do it all by herself.
I feel like to go out in the world and tell all those kids spending day and night practicing their extracurriculars, doing research, studying sleepless nightS with the hope of getting into a good school of their dreams- don’t beat yourself up. If you are not that special person your college admission counselor is looking for, you have no chance. But your intelligence, your hard work and confidence- no admission person can take away. You all will be tomorrow’s leaders. Just forget about your reach schools. Let us promote our state schools! We are so lucky to have them!
[quote= I don’t know anything about college admission here and my D has to do it all by herself.
I feel like to go out in the world and tell all those kids spending day and night practicing their extracurricular, doing research, studying sleepless nightS with the hope of getting into a good school of their dreams- don’t beat yourself up. If you are not that special person your college admission counselor is looking for, you have no chance. But your intelligence, your hard work and confidence- no admission person can take away. You all will be tomorrow’s leaders. Just forget about your reach schools. Let us promote our state schools! We are so lucky to have them!
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Exactly same with our S, we didn’t know so many loopholes, we thought good STATS and ECs will take him anywhere. My D is a freshman now and with all this chaos at home, we all think there is no reward on those sleepless nights and all ECs , we don’t want her to beat herself up.
But one mom, here told me that all these hard work will teach them to become a successful person in a future. I hope to be back here one day ( year 2024 my Daughter’s college year) and talk about my son.
Hi this is from a hs senior!!! To anyone who is looking through this thread of adults commenting on their children’s “devastation”, don’t worry!!! We were all put into quarantine and I used it as a time to truly think about the validity of working my butt off for four years just for an admission to a college where I would continue working my butt off for. I cried for weeks, literal WEEKs at the near mention of my dream school. All of my friends are going to 4yrs and I am one of two people in my group who are going to CC, which was really hard to accept at first. For reference, I am one of the top kids in my class, hecka extra circulars, been in the city paper multiple times, etc the entire package. As may 1st rolls around, rather than being sad about what has happened in the past, look up and be dang proud of where you are going in the future! You have an entire 4 years of fun, food, education, friends set up for you! If you are going to CC like me, look as it as a second chance to going to your dream school! It is a chance to not leave home and reminisce in the times around you. I believe that even through quarantine, we will be one of the strongest classes to exist, we just have to put our minds towards the positivity and the abundance we have in our lives. Stats are temporary, smiles are forever <3
