<p>yes, that's true for us too. We did not send our son to a private school and saved money that way. Our son's HS is adequate but not fantastic, like, say, Princeton High school in New Jersey.</p>
<p>Forgive my turn of phrase about the ivy prize, Garland - I was just using it as expression - as I recall the phrase "eyes of the prize" was used re: the fight for civil rights for AfAms in the 60s.</p>
<p>I hear you - but I do think one can find such a learning community in various schools. For my S and my H, it isn't so much a matter of whether we can or cannot afford it, and the truth is we could manage it if we decided to. It is simply that S doesn't believe any school is worth the big bucks. Truth be told, he would be supremely unhappy at a highly selective LAC or an Ivy - so it is a bit of a moot point for us. But all along, his criteria always included "gives merit money" as he assembled his list. Ditto for his sister. Both picked as their first choice schools institutions that were generous with merit money (Grinnell and Univ of Miami). So we lucked out. Not sure how I would be posting if he had his eyes on and an acceptance at HY or P....</p>
<p>I don't know if Grinnell would appreciate the slight that they aren't highly selective WIWA :)
after all they belong to the SelectiveLiberalArts Consortium!</p>
<p><a href="http://www.slaconsortium.org/%5B/url%5D">http://www.slaconsortium.org/</a></p>
<p>Yes, ekity, I know, but I didn't think my post said Grinnell wasn't highly selective. And when she picked it as her first choice in 1997, it did not have quite as much prestige or the national reputation that it has now. I think that U Miami is on the upswing that way too.</p>
<p>I think that S's visits to Grinnell when D was there are probably the main reason S wants nothing to do with LACs! For him, it was too small and too isolated. He wants more of a university experience.</p>
<p>Back to the concrete amount - I was shooting for the family total to be comfortable, which meant $80K or less for the 4 years - including my S's resources, my resources, and a contribution from grandparents. This would have allowed me to avoid loans, and while it would have used up his college savings, he would have no debt.</p>
<p>Y'all are cracking me up. My D was Rosemary this year and I'm afraid we'll end up paying for a "Paris Original" education for my "Cinderella Darling". Actually, my hubby and I (we have only one child) have always said that we'd mortgage the house (again) and live in a one room efficiency if that's what it takes to pay for the education she wants as long as she works her little behind off when she gets there.</p>
<p>About $100K more or less for 4 years if we're employed, if we're retired by force(lol) $20K more or less for 4 years.</p>
<p>Not sure my thoughts on this are relevant...but here goes anyway:</p>
<p>To me, the cost of S's college isn't a dollars issue; it's a deep deep deep emotional one. I come from working class (close to poor) roots, and had almost no choice in the matter of college--that I went at all was a bit of a miracle in the world in which I grew up. Somewhere along the line, I developed a compulsion that if I could, I would do whatever I needed to do to give my child(ren) (I only have one, but didn't know that would be the case when I developed my "passion") the ability to pick his/her/their college w/out money being the determining factor.</p>
<p>The education, of course, matters and matters most. But for me college was liberating and "adult-ifying" (can I make up that word?) and the most profound phase of my life...I "found" me (for good or for ill)...I loved my college (still do) and didn't really "notice" I couldn't go to UCLA (that's where I really wanted to go) because it just wasn't in the realm of possibility. Wanting to go to UCLA was for me, at that time with the knowledge I then had, akin to wanting to go to the moon. And it inspired in me this feeling that if my child wanted to go to UCLA then I wanted to have saved enough money to make it possible...</p>
<p>So, school costs what it costs. And until it costs more than I can manage to pay, any school S wants to attend can charge what it charges and I'll pay it. But it's not a cost-benefit decision for me; it's an almost purely emotional choice I made a long time ago, based on my personal reaction to going to college...</p>
<p>Consequently, for me the cut-off is the point at which I can no longer afford the bill...and we're not there yet...</p>
<p>Being willing to pay whatever it takes to put a kid through college is NOT the same as being willing to pay for ANY college. </p>
<p>The fact that UCLA was your dream school illustrates that point. For a Calif. resident, UCLA costs are ~$20K a year - with costs for private colleges with equivalent or better rank are double that. So even with a deep seated emotional commitment to send your kid to a good college... the money still can be a barrier.</p>
<p>Actually I like mini's question. Given that the actual cost of an undergraduate education at a good flagship university - tuition, room, board, plus the stae subsidy is in the $22,000 - $25,000 range and the current sticker (as opposed to the real) price at a selective prive university is closer to $40,000 a year the premium being charged is about $15,000. And yes mini is correct that the price will go up 3-7% a year every year your kid is in school.</p>
<p>I have one kid, don't own a house but do have cash in the bank and a good enough job that my EFC is sticker price or more. I do not think I would have been willing to pay sticker price. S applied to state flagship, an out of state flagship, and three private schools. He was only accepted at the instate flagship and one of the private schools which offered him merit money. His first choice private waitlisted him and frankly I was afraid they would admit him at which point we would have probably had to have a long painful father and son talk. I don't think he would have gotten squat from that school - it will go unnamed but is in the top 10 national universities - and I do not think I could justify to myself a $65K premium over four years.</p>
<p>I want my kid to have a first rate education and he is attending a private university albeit one in the top 50 and not the top 10. I am paying a hefty premium over the in state flagship and I do think it is worth it but ... I buy a car to get from place to place. A Honda will do the job every bit as well as a Lexus and if I was as rich as Croesus I still wouldn't buy a Lexus.</p>
<p>Yeah, without going over the details of our finance, I have to say it has nothing to do with one's pocket book and how we value education. It's the cost/value issue as a consumer or maybe I'm just practical.
Marketing people know this that is why educational toys were hot with parents with young children( I know because I used to buy tons of it), they know they can push some parents hot button. Some parents will go overboard in the name of love for their children and/or doing the absolute best for our kids education, without weighing the pros and cons. Sorry for my 2 cents, and I don't mean to criticize anyone or no one.</p>
<p>We made the commitment to pay for our children's college education, and did not put in any financial constraints. I think we can do it as things stand now, and we were willing to borrow and go on an austerity regiment for tuition in the past. However, the answer is not always that simple. When my oldest son looked at his college choices, he is just the sort of person who does look at cost vs value. Value can have a lot of factors in it like how much you like the place, the name recognition, location, etc. In his book, none of his choices were worth full freight when he had some nice half cost and even cheaper choices. Hoever, a free ride was not worth it when he just liked some schools that much better. So there was some cost consideration in there but it was not the guiding force.</p>
<p>My friend was going over her son's choices, and though she started out with no cost constraints, as they look over the colleges, they are looking at value vs cost as well. Her son may well end up at their state school which they did not feel was likely at the beginning of the process. But as they look at what is offered vs the cost, it is beginning to look mighty good, especially given the fact that he wants do some expensive things over the summer and may not be so employable when he gets out. The family can afford the full private school cost, but that is just about the limit. No summer programs, no graduate school, if you go full limit on undergrad price. </p>
<p>Sometimes, familes feel that they simply cannot afford more than $X given their priorities. That too needs to be respected. I remember Evil Robot's situation where the FAFSA/PROfile numbers did not give him sufficient aid. By those guidelines, Yale should have been affordable for his family, but it would mean giving up retirement investments (not under the qualified plans umbrella) and family business possibilities with long reaching consequences for the other family members. Not worth it for him. And there are families who live in severely substandard, dangerous conditions but will insisit on the sacrifice to send a kid to a top school. Who is to say which is the right decision? It just depends.</p>