Suspension on my record

I’m a junior in public school. This past fall, I received a short 2-day in school suspension in my school for speaking out on social media against a racist girl at my school (her parents threatened to sue for “violent” language) and as a result it’s on my permanent school record and I’m no longer allowed to participate in my school’s NHS.

I live in Kansas so to be fair I’m not surprised by their leniency with the racism but my question is whether this is something I should be afraid of putting out there for colleges.

The places I want to apply to are very liberal, far more than kansas (Columbia, Georgetown, WUSTL, USC, BU, Darthmouth, etc.) and I’ve been told by some ivy/UC students that a suspension for those reasons are actually worth “flaunting” because it shows character/passion for social justice (a Berkeley student even suggested I make my common app essay about it). I have Columbia U. at the top of my list as my reach school, since it has such great IR/PoliSci programs and is known for social activism. I have no idea if this suspension puts me lower in the herd, or makes me a more appealing applicant.

I consider myself to be an above average student (I take AP classes, accelerated in English and math, 4.41 unweighted, 35 ACT, lots of volunteering, 4 honor societies, 6 EC clubs, etc.) but without the suspension I don’t think I have a very outstanding chance at my reach schools. Is this suspension a make-or-break type situation?

I would appreciate any and all candid perspective on how my suspension will effect my application/acceptance process.

Please excuse my grammar/spelling lol it’s very late here

Be very careful about how you describe and approach this incident.

Your current description will be likely to make most adults think there is more to this story… much more. Although you imply you were punished for speaking up against racism (which most colleges would support), it is likely that you weren’t actually suspended for speaking up against racism, but for something else. Did you perhaps threaten the other student? That will not be nearly as impressive and most colleges will not support that. And if an AO suspects there is more to this story than you describe, they’re likely to either toss your app in the “no” pile (because they will have thousands of apps that do not have this whiff of uncertainty) or will do a little research; if their research determines that you weren’t suspended for defending against racism but were instead suspended for something like threatening to hurt another student, then you will be toast.

So - what’s the whole, complete story? Tough to know how to give good advice if you haven’t given all the facts.

“Violent language” raises some red flags for me. It’s one thing to be speaking out against racism, it’s another to threaten violence. Tread carefully.

“her parents threatened to sue for “violent” language” A red flag for me also. Without knowing the exact wording, it is hard to say. I would add a community college to your list. You can always transfer later.

When i say “violent language” i just mean curse words, definitely not threatening violence, sorry

What were the grounds of the suspension? In other words, what reason did the school give for suspending you?

My school keeps discrimination stuff under wraps, but when I found out about what she did I “exposed” he comments, and in doing so I cursed her out (re: violent language), and I certainly did not threaten violence. Just to clarify

Their reason for my suspension was that I was being inappropriate and I made the student feel unsafe (cyberbullying).

Start by being very direct. You were suspended for violent language and cyberbullying. Do you think what you did was reasonable and the best way to handle the situation? IOW, if you had to do it all over again is there anything you would have done differently?

I’m not asking to be hurtful, this is the sort of thing colleges are going to want to know before they admit you. Not sure about Berkeley (joking, but just a little…) but most schools like people passionate for social causes but are leery of those who will bully or use violence to advance those causes…

I think it may help my case that the racism was direct towards my race, so the whole ordeal was extremely upsetting and personal to me. Faced with the same situation, I would definitely try and approach the situation with less foul language but most of what I had said on social media was stating why [X] slurs are never a joke/okay for white people to say.

After looking up your state’s cyber bullying laws, it seems that embarrassment falls under cyberbullying. http://ag.ks.gov/public-safety/internet-safety/internet-safety-for-teens/cyberbullying. Your best bet is to explain the situation in as unbiased a manner as you can. If you can get whoever reads it to understand, or perhaps empathize, that’ll go a long way towards neutralizing the situation. Admit your actions, apologize for your language. Depending on the exact nature of the other person’s comments (would those comments also be considered cyberbullying?) you might be able to provide evidence of unfair treatment, but that’s a risk. Owning your actions is part of being an adult, so being honest and direct shows maturity.

OK, time for me to be very direct because asking you to be introspective has not proven to be effective.

Racism is wrong. Period. Let’s get that out of the way because nobody would or should defend racism.

Your reaction to a wrong (racism) was inappropriate. You can’t choose to use violent language or cyberbully someone because they have done something wrong, which is what you did here. If you were to be able to recognize the problem on your end and describe how you’ve been working on self-control/redirecting efforts in an appropriate way then most people would be very sympathetic. But your constant attempts to minimize your behavior imply you don’t think you did anything that was unjustified, which will lead colleges to wonder if you will believe yourself to be justified in bad behavior in the future.

People do not want racism in schools. But people also don’t want vigilantes who feel it’s fine to threaten or bully others, even in the name of justice. Think long and hard about how you present this when you apply for college because IMO the way you’re presenting the situation will not help you.

Yes of course, at any chance I would definitely explain myself in an unbiased way, admit my mistakes, and apologize.

The student who said the racist remarks said them out loud to another student of the race she was making fun of on a school field trip. And of course, the other student’s comments would be bullying, they were racist (she called a Chinese student a “fat lesbian ch*nk”, which she then justified by saying that it was a “joke”). I feel as though face-to-face racist bullying will somewhat dampen what I had said online (I would consider all racism in school some form of bullying and I certainly hope colleges agree with me.)

I have had time to think about how I would change my actions. I have done a lot to be more pragmatic about the way I respond to situations like this.

“Yes of course, at any chance I would definitely explain myself in an unbiased way, admit my mistakes, and apologize.”

Your language in how you describe the situation says otherwise. Every post you make about this includes attempts to minimize your actions or justify them.

BTW, this girl sounds utterly repugnant and awful. It’s understandable you’d be upset. What will not be understandable to people is you minimizing what actions you took. Don’t minimize or justify what you did when you explain to others. It implies you still don’t believe your actions were wrong.

Here’s the thing:

Colleges are very used to teenagers and schools. They know that any teen’s version of what happened is going to be HIS/HER side of the story, and the side of the other kid is likely to be very different.

So they don’t take either kid’s side. They look at what the high school did. They assume that the high school looked at all the facts. Schools don’t take suspensions lightly-- they look at all the information they have before deciding to suspend a kid.

In the opinion of your school administration, what you did was worthy of suspension. So, after looking at all the facts, at your explanation and the other girl’s explanation, they decided that what you did was so wrong that a lesser punishment simply wouldn’t do.

And putting the word “short” before “2-day suspension” sounds like just another attempt to make light of a very serious situation.

Every time you try to lessen what happened, it simply sounds as though you’re not taking this seriously. As though you still don’t understand that what you did was wrong.

It will absolutely be in your own best interest to stop explaining how it wasn’t a big deal, and take ownership of what you did.

OP, you can not control the actions of other people, only your own reaction to them. There are many crazies in this world. You must demonstrate the self control to respond to them appropriately. So even if she is running circles near you while stark naked and screaming racist terms, you can not repeat not threaten violence.

Will it be on your transcript or discussed with colleges ?
You’ll have to statenit succinctly, like this:
" I reacted inappropriately (using bad language) to a student’s use of slurs affecting my ethnic group. I got a 2-day in school suspension and didn’t act like that ever again."