Wjs1107 - my hub and I are also contemplating some weekend trips (well, at least I am! 
) without my D who is a college junior (the first time we’ll have the time to do so). I feel the same as you - kind of sad about it on some level. But I have an older S (out of the house for years) and he’s said (generally): “Mom, I just want you to be happy.” So I kind of think I owe it to the kids to make my own life and be happy so they can feel free to pursue their own interests. We’ll still have family vacations (us as well as extended fam) but I think it’s okay to start with those trips as a couple…
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We never thought about how our kids would feel if we took a little vacation while they were in college.
What about the first Mothers or Father’s Day? Christmas? Family event like a wedding? We don’t see both of our kids for any of these anymore. Or all birthdays.
It’s the way it is, and we celebrate when we can and do see them!
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When D went off to college, we did take a couple of trips with me, H, and S without her. But it was mostly college tours for S. She didn’t mind at all. She’d already been on plenty of college tours.
Now that both my kids are out of the nest, H and I have taken more trips by ourselves. It works out well because D lives nearby and she can house and pet sit, or if S is home from school, he can housesit. Plus, D takes her own trips now, and I expect S will do the same. Our kids don’t mind that we’ve taken trips without them…
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Slight thread drift:
The best is when the kids take a vacation together without you! Mine arranged a week together while they were both still in college, flying in from opposite directions. Was I jealous as they went somewhere I’d love to visit again and H hasn’t been? You bet!
It’s so great to have them want to spend time together. Since they’ve been out of school they’ve driven hours each way to spend a weekend together several times.
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My sister started a family tradition of traveling Thanksgiving week when her daughter (oldest) was doing her study abroad in France. Her son was in hs, sister is a teacher, so that was the week they all had off.
After that, they’ve done London, Rome, France again. This year they are staying in the US and doing a beach. Kids are long out of college but they still like it. Son’s girlfriend now goes too.
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I remember feeling jealous when my family went on a ski vacations without me and allowed my sib to bring a friend in what I felt was my place. But this became my family’s new normal and I did things with my own friends on school breaks.
Now, we use vacation to get time with our child and have definitely switched it up. We frequently travel over the Christmas break because everyone is off. Thanksgiving plans stretch over more days. Long weekends are less common although occasionally we’ll ski near where DS lives.
We enjoy our “couple” trips as well and feel no guilt. But we like to be together as a family when we can. We realize that when kids have families of their own, they may be less available to us and that as we age, we may be less able to have really active vacations together, which we love. With that said, the college years were the ones when we did the least as a family, and nobody felt regret.
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Agree about them going with each other. For me though I’m never jealous. I don’t like to travel. And I hate to travel with my kids. Because they are normal people who want to do as much as possible and I want to do as little as possible. One thing ( museum, attraction etc… plus lunch and dinner out is as busy as I ever want to be. And after the one thing they are ( like normal people) wanting to do the next thing. Ugh. So please. Leave me out of it!
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