Talking to teachers at schools you won't attend

<p>I've decided on my school and throughout the audition process, I've been in communication with several teachers at each school, and some of them have sent me personal emails asking about my decision. How do I tell them I won't be attending their schools? Do I just say where I'm going? Do I tell them why I chose the school I did? What else should I say? I've drafted some emails, but I'm nervous about not saying the right things?</p>

<p>I’m in the same position! I have gotten to be fairly close to faculty at a few different colleges, mostly music faculty. I told them the truth: they’re each wonderful, but as a whole, University XYZ will likely prove a better fit for me. Nothing against them, they were each talented, welcoming, and helpful. I have told some in person (when possible), I will be mailing letters to a couple of others I was very close to, and others will receive solely an email with an attached note.</p>

<p>Be sure to thank them for their time and attention. Indicate that while they offer you a great opportunity, the one you chose was the best fit for you. If the choice was based on funds you can let them know that as much as you would have liked to attend the financial picture did not work out for you. I think the schools need ton keep hearing that. But do be polite, and thank them. You do not know when you might want to go there or be in a summer program they are associated with. Music is a small world.</p>

<p>Good advice here!</p>

<p>This has been very difficult for my daughter as she has spent time with several of the instructors and has been writing emails with specifics as to why she didn’t choose the school. She has thanked them for all the time they spent with her. It is causing her a bit of stress, because she’s met some great people that she felt she would’ve done very well with. There were just other options that fit her either financially or the school itself fit her needs better. We’ve told her in the real world, you cannot accept every opportunity that comes your way, and if you weren’t a good fit for their studio, they wouldn’t have any problem in declining your admission. As long as your are polite and keep integrity, it’s all good.</p>

<p>I think it is important to let people with whom you have personal contact know that you will not be attending their school. You never know if they will be running the grad program you may want to apply for in four years! Even a simple statement that the other school is a better for you at this time would be fine… along with a thank you for their time and attention.</p>

<p>I agree, it doesn’t hurt to send a polite note thanking them for their time and enthusiasm and then explaining in the end you felt another program would work out better for you in terms of the school, financials and so forth. The teacher’s my kid dealt with were very gracious, they understood how personal a decision this is and wished him well. I have heard there are some teachers who might get their nose bent out of joint, but to be honest, if they got their nose bent out of joint because in the end the kid felt somewhere else was better, I wouldn’t think they would be a great choice down the road either:). As others say, this is a small world, and it never hurts to show the teachers respect who spent time working with you.</p>

<p>Thanks! There was never a question as to whether I’d say anything at all. I was already planning on thanking everyone. The question is more so as to how much I tell them about why I made the decision I did. I don’t want to necessarily put down their schools. One school in particular was legitimately my second choice. I would’ve gone there had I not been accepted to my dream school. Do I specifically say that to the teacher or leave that out? That’s more of what the question was.</p>

<p>ImThinking, I honestly don’t think it is necessary to give a detailed reason as to why a school is a better fit for you. I think expressing your appreciation, and saying that you were seriously considering their school, but ultimately felt that another program was the right place for you financially and otherwise, is enough info. Congrats on getting into your “Dream School” :)</p>

<p>Much better to tell a teacher through a polite and detailed email or phone call than the way I accidentally did - right before the master class my kid did with the teacher in question. I ran into the teacher in the hallway and got buttonholed about where my kid was going … and it wasn’t to their school. Needless to say, masterclass that followed was brutal.</p>

<p>Unless the particular teacher had done something extraordinary for your kid as far as admittance goes a polite and descriptive email should be fine. If some really not normal stuff happened maybe a face to face or definitely a phone call and not an email , just out of courtesy. The classical world is really small and you will probably be dealing with some of these teachers later at a camp or at the grad level.</p>

<p>I echo what everyone else said. My S had the same conversation with some schools. In particular, one professor had gone above and beyond. S said he felt like he was breaking up with someone. It really hit him hard. He was honest and told him why – for us it came down basically to money, although this school was slightly second on his list, if the money had been there it would’ve been first. So in a way, they were tied. He said, you were at the top of my list but I can’t afford to come. He also wrote an email after the phone call and emailed the other dept. head who was part of the audition/selection committee. He didn’t want to burn any bridges.
Good luck!</p>