My son asked his computer science teacher to write him a LOR. It is a good choice because he is applying for CS and Games, excelled in the class, and has had a good relationship with the teacher and engaged with him on several outside the class projects.
He provided the teacher with a brag sheet, a letter outlining all his accomplishments in the class as well as the reasons why the Computer teacher was ideally suited to describe my son’s personality and outside class projects. Essentially a “draft LOR” if the teacher wanted something concrete to work from.
However, the teacher said he always gets students to write their own letters and just email him a copy. He provided a template that reads like a laundry list of activities and said S24 could just cut and paste his name into it if he wanted or write his own. Obviously S24 is not going to use the template. (Frankly, it would have been a poor LOR if the teacher had written the LOR using the template).
S24 could write the LOR, I could write it for him, or he could ask another teacher.
He does not want to ask another teacher because he feels like his work and relationship with the Computer teacher is the best this year. His science and math classes were quite impersonal. The other two teachers that he has a good relationship with are his AP History and English teachers.
Now what? He is hearing from several students that this has happened to them and they just wrote their own letters. I have never heard of this before.
What would I do? Although it’s quite disappointing, particularly in light of all the work your son already did for the teacher’s LOR, I’d have you (or a willing, trusted adult) write it for the teacher, as the writing style should be different from your son’s.
Have your son think of a couple of instances where there was some kind of an interaction between him and the teacher (i.e. not just an accomplishment). Perhaps it’s pointing out a kid who is struggling (with the subject or emotionally, etc) and trying to help get the person some support, or staying after class to ask deeper, probing questions on the subject, or an “aha” moment when your kid had been struggling with a concept but was persisting and finally got it, or just something really nice and thoughtful that has nothing to do with the subject. (For the latter, I recall a student who went dumpster diving for another kid’s retainer when the kid accidentally threw it away at lunch, and money was tight for the family.) Basically, something that only the teacher or your son could have written, because not everybody knows about it. This would also be either confirming aspects of your son’s application narrative or showing something that hasn’t appeared elsewhere.
So although it’s disheartening that the teacher doesn’t want to take the time to write something, you’re given the opportunity to write something that will capture who your son is and to have it submitted by the teacher (who, I would assume, would at least read it over and change anything that didn’t feel appropriate).
I had the same experience too (back in my day) All the teachers told me to write the letter myself and give it to them for signing.
Not sure why? maybe there are too busy and don’t want to put the time to write something.
I have friends who sent their kids to expensive private schools, and teachers write lengthy, detailed letters of recommendation for the students. I’m guessing it may be part of their job description.
I agree with @AustenNut, it is a good way to make sure that everything you want included in the letter is included. And I also suspect that if it’s way over the top, the teacher will either edit it, or return it to you for an edit.
That’s unfortunate. My college professor/major advisor had me write my own back in the day as well when I was applying to graduate school. Very disappointing when he only had 5 to write. HS teachers get so many requests these days, some even limit how many they will do. Take advantage of this opportunity and work with your child to craft an honest and glowing recommendation that pinpoints key competencies, ability to grasp and learn new info, and soft skills that would be beneficial for their major. The CS teacher still has to approve it, but I would certainly shoot for the moon! There are tons of sample letters on line if you need help getting started.
Some teachers get asked to write a lot of them and don’t have the 30 or so hours to do it, or will only do their ‘standard’ letter and change the name in the template (which could backfire if a mistake is made). Some teachers are just not good writers and they know it and it stresses them out to even think about writing a letter. Some don’t know the difference between to, too, and two (my kids had several of those). The guy might be a very good CS or math teacher but not a good writer.
My sister teaches 5th grade and has to write recommendations for her students to get into some magnet or charter middle school programs. For her, it’s a breeze to knock out 20 of these in a week but for some of the other teachers it is a chore.
This is just plain unethical. Honestly, does the school know?
Another recent thread hypothesized that a friend of the poster’s son got into all his reach schools and some said recommendations might have made the difference?
Really? When kids are writing their own. Back in the age of dinosaurs (2010) my kids didn’t even see their rec letters. It was considered a way to guarantee authenticity since the kids would not see them.
I think it’s unethical if the kid/parent were to write the LOR, create a “teacher account” on Common App, and upload it as the teacher.
But, I frequently draft letters for my boss (or my boss’s boss). I send it to my boss, my boss checks it over and puts his name on it, and then he sends it out. Alternatively, think of speech writers. Is it unethical for a speechwriter to write a speech or for an individual (say the President) to give a speech that he hasn’t written? (And one day, I want to be able to use “she” in that sentence.) Or politicians who “sponsor” or “wrote” a bill. 9 times out of 10 they’re a co-sponsor, not the primary sponsor, and I would imagine it would be pretty rare for a legislator to actually write the legislation for which they’re the primary sponsor. They may give direction, things to include/exclude, but they weren’t the actual writers. Frankly, this situation seems to be along the same lines as these others.
I was the house writer. so to speak, at my job, and wrote letters all the time for others. Some employee would tell me they got this wonderful letter from the Board and I would not be able to say I wrote it!
@AustenNut I don’t see any of your examples as being anything like a college recommendation letter. Like I said my kids checked a box so they didn’t even see the letters, so the recommender could be honest.
The whole rec letter thing is ludicrous in a very large high school, but writing your own letter is, I think, over the line. Listing activities on a cheat sheet is different from writing “Joe/Mary is one of the hardest working students I have had and is very helpful to others.” For example.
We can agree to disagree. But I am kind of surprised noone agrees with me. I see this as a form of cheating honestly- cheating requested by a teacher yet.
This renders one of the important components of an application essentially meaningless, along with overcoached essays.
We will agree to disagree, then. I will agree with you about the following, though, as something I would find a bridge too far:
To avoid crossing over into what I think of as unethical territory, I would stick to what your kid knows to be true. Joe/Mary stayed after school 2 hours every day to help tutor/study/ponder the meaning of CS, or whatever. In other words, show, don’t tell.
The situation is less than ideal and having been in it, it was very awkward as the ghost writer of my own letter. However, a CS major should have a CS teacher as a recommender. As long as the teacher reviews it and has the final edit, I think it’s OK. I agree that the high school should be informed, but when do you tell them? Now and have it possibly cause friction with your letter writer? After applications are in? The letter of recommendation holds a lot of weight some places but the inequity of the submissions will always be a problem. My son’s counselor barely knew him or what schools he was applying to as she managed a case load of 400. Some teachers just send their boiler plate letter. And at more elite and well resourced schools, some applicants have 3 over the top, glowing references. It’s never going to be a fair process.
I am surprised no one has mentioned that your S should have at least one LoR from a core academic teacher…and CS is not core from the viewpoint of many (even if CS is the target major). Is he getting a second LoR from a core teacher?
Teachers who use student and/or parent brag sheets often pull that info verbatim into their LoRs, so I’m not sure that’s much different than the student writing their own letter. Those are both better options than the teacher saying they won’t write an LoR, or using ChatGPT to write it (which I am fairly certain some teachers and counselors are going to do).
One point of view missing here is that unless the teacher is sure of student’s integrity, they never generally ask student to write a draft. Teacher must have had sufficient insight into student’s ethics so as to feel comfortable to start with student’s draft.
In other words, if teacher has anything negative to include in the LOR, he/she definitely wouldn’t have asked the kid to prepare a draft.
I believe its important to respect teacher’s decision and ethics before we put them to our own judgement.
Thank you so much to all of you for your advice and feedback! It seems that while not ideal, this is not a rare situation. I reached out to several parents at our school as well as other high schools in our area, and they reported similar experiences with other teachers.
I will write a letter for S24, showcasing his personality and attributes that the teacher should definitely be able to sign off on. An honest and authentic recounting of his experience in the class and several anecdotes of meaningful interactions with the teacher and students will actually be quite easy. My son included a lot of this in his letter to the teacher.
I will spend a lot of time looking through all the tips and samples of good LORs to use as a guide. I do agree that an over the top letter unrealistic letter that does not accurately describe my son will probably do more harm than good.
I definitely want to acknowledge your view @compmom. It is not fair to the kids who never get to see their LORs, but I don’t want to penalize my son by informing on the teacher and burning bridges. My younger son will have the same teacher. I am also not going to force my son to ask another teacher.
The more I observe my son’s college application journey, the more I realize that the “holistic application” can be skewed by so many factors. Some will break my kid’s way, some will not. I hope in the end it evens out for all the kids applying.
But how is using the template any different where the teacher says of EVERY student “John/Mary is one of the hardest working students in my class”?
When my nephew applied to Colorado School of Mines, they told him they no longer require essays because they knew so many of them were ghost written or so heavily edited the writing wasn’t really representing the quality or ability of the applicant. The colleges know that the letters are pretty much a template.
I think the ‘system’ works okay when it is students from small prep schools who really know their teachers (from junior year) and those teachers have time to write 15 individual recommendations and all the students (and the GC) know to ask for these letters well in advance and they are going to colleges that are used to getting letters of this type, the writers have the background to write a ‘Harvard quality’ letter, etc. The system doesn’t work as well at a large public school where there are 1000 graduates, all wanting letters from the same small group of English and math teachers from junior year. I went to a public school with 1000 in my graduating class. I’d transferred there as a senior so knew NO teachers from my junior year. All a teacher from my senior year could have written was a template letter “She showed up. I taught her.”
Every single school he is applying to requires only one LOR from an academic teacher and one from the guidance counselor. He is not applying to any schools that require more than that. All the application guidelines we have looked at so far state that they would prefer a letter from a class related to the major.
S24’s Math teacher already announced that he does not write LORs. His physics teacher left a lot of kids scrambling last year and is known to flake on letters. APUSH teacher has been on maternity leave since March. That leaves the English, and Spanish teacher. I will encourage my son to ask the English teacher as well.
My son’s public school has 1000 kids in his graduating class as well. I was actually surprised that he was the first one to ask the CS teacher for a recommendation last week. I am sure the flood gates are about to open on requests in the remaining 3 weeks of school.
My son definitely does not know the guidance counselor outside of a few face to face meetings. I am sure that LOR will be fairly boiler plate from whatever material he provides to them in the recommendation packet.
So many teachers in my son’s school have a hard time keeping up with the grading. I can certainly imagine that a vast majority of LORs will be from a template.
When I was a teacher, I wrote a lot of rec letters for college applications. In any given year, I’d be asked for anywhere from 25-40. It was a lot to do, especially considering that each one had to be particular to that student. I always took a weekend to hammer them out where I didn’t have to plan and could focus on writing good letters. It never would have occurred to me to ask for the students’ help. I was in a private school and had about 100 students a year.
I’m not surprised to hear that this is happening more because it seems like in many schools, teachers’ teaching loads have grown dramatically in the past few years. They probably are asking for this because they feel overwhelmed and aren’t sure what to write even if they know the student well. Writing a LOR is a skill and not every teacher is good at it. They aren’t taught how to do it well in any sort of training.
I hope you get helpful, positive, and accurate LORs, however it has to be done!
I agree with you and I’m frankly shocked that a teacher would tell a student to do this and it was condoned by the administration. 100% this takes the FERPA waiver and throws it out the window.