For those of you with kids who have gone on OVs, I’m curious how the interactions between your kid and the potential teammates have gone.
D’16 has been on two visits so far, and I’ve been a bit surprised on how unfriendly the kids have been. Visit #1 was a daytime visit, and her interaction with the team consisted of one hour of pickup ball. The team did not greet her as they were sitting around putting shoes on, then all hightailed it out of the gym once the hour was up. I think a couple kids said goodbye and that was it.
Visit #2 was an overnight. Pickup ball was a bit better, but during team dinner they asked D one question, then proceeded to ignore her the rest of the meal. There was another recruit there whom they treated the same way. After dinner, 11 girls piled into a 5 seat car (eek!) and went off to a house party. The team asked D if she drinks, (she said no–she’s only 16!!) so she just sat there and watched them play beer pong for four hours. Her dorm room host was friendly enough, but the team as a whole didn’t care to interact with her or the other recruit.
Is this par for the course? D is a quiet kid, but not unfriendly, and I feel like if she is on their turf, at least the captains should be more outgoing towards her. D has two more visits coming up so I’ll be interested to see how those play out. Any input is appreciated.
My daughter found the team very nice on the OV. The second OV was at a new program, so the 5 recruits ate with the coach and hung out, but each stayed with her own family.
I think you have hit one thing right, most of those already on the team at 20-22 years old and don’t have that much in common with a 16 year old, at least socially. Once they’ve discussed the practice or something about the sport, the conversation is going to die.
If an official visit goes the way it is supposed to go, the recruit has a great time and the current team members are doing everything they can to sell the recruit on coming to the school.
If this does not happen, some (not all) reasonable conclusions might be that the current teammates are self-centered rather than team oriented, the coach has not communicated well about the importance of the visit, or they are assigning a low priority to the visit.
EDIT: Is it correct that official visits (OV) start from Sept 1 each year? If that is correct, your daughter has already had two? Are we talking about official visits–as in the thread title–or unofficial visits?
Thanks for the replies. I understand the age gap but it’s not like that will change next year when she enrolls. There was little to no effort to talk to her.
Both programs are D3 and the first one she went spring of junior year. It was that schools version of an OV that really wasn’t an OV if that makes sense. It was a visit designed to woo her. At any rate both programs had told her she is their number one 2016 recruit so I was surprised at the lack of effort by the teams to tell her anything about the program or make her feel welcome. Maybe I am expecting too much out of kids that age?
D went on an overnight visit at this D3 school. Head coach introduced her to the whole team and left her with them for the rest of the night. They ate dinner together and introduced her to the men’s club team they practiced with. Everybody was extremely friendly and welcoming. They even studied together at the library after dinner. D had a really good chat with the host that night as well. When she came back to our hotel room, she even called them “my friends” without noticing. And from that moment onward she knew she found her school.
I think it depends on the school and the state. This school is in the mid-west, so I guess it is natural for them to be nice,
My daughter had a visit to an East Coast school. The visit was well-organized with social activities, homework time, meals, etc. Her host was a freshman. She had a positive experience there. She ended up attending a different East Coast school that she visited twice but never spent overnight with the team. However, we heard they, too, did a great job with visits and the team was very nice. Now that my daughter is there, it is clear that was a true reflection of the team. They are taking care of the freshman, doing bonding activities, academic advice and help if needed, etc.
It’s a shame when OV’s don’t go well. Kids have so little to go on in choosing a college, and the OV is a big piece of information. It’s hard to understand why a team would not be more welcoming. Most of the teams recruiting my D had students contact her by phone to touch base and answer questions. If there is a follow up conversation with team members, maybe I would ask about team chemistry, etc. I don’t know if you will get a good answer but it’s worth asking.
Sanmin, I’m sorry to hear that! My son (a swimmer) just got home from his first official visit at a lower level D1 school. He is also a quiet kid but he came away with a very positive impression of the school and the team. I hope that the athletes at your daughter’s next visit are friendlier.
Positive OV report from my kiddo too. Said the team vibe (D1 Ivy) was great and there were no big egos. Obviously some guys more welcoming than others but overall very positive. He was on the fence about the school and can now see himself there so the team did a good job in that regard.
I’m sorry to hear that the visits were somewhat disappointing in terms of interaction with the team, and I hope that the upcoming visits are better in that respect. As others have noted, I don’t think the experience your daughter had is typical.
I think of a visit as being roughly analogous to a job interview or maybe even a first date, where people are evaluating each other but also trying to make a good impression in case they want to continue the process. To me it’s not a good sign if people seemingly can’t be bothered at a time when they should be trying to make a good impression.
Thank you everyone for the replies–they are most helpful. What you all are describing is what I was expecting for D, so I’m glad I don’t have misplaced expectations.
And another thing that bugged me about this most recent OV, besides the 11 girls piling into one car, was that my D’s host said she got so drunk on her OV the year before that she had to be carried back to the dorm. I thought getting trashed on OVs was a big no-no?
We are not talking about official visits (OV) but no problem, it is ok to continue saying they are OVs…
The standards relating to alcohol for unofficial visits are up to each school’s compliance department, the good judgment of the coach, team members, recruit involved…and state law. I think it is pretty clear from your descriptions that the two schools your daughter has made unofficial visits to should be crossed off your list and that she should move on.
Previously you posted that your daughter was thinking about not playing for her high school team senior year because of a “toxic team situation”. You guys are running into a lot of bad luck team (and potential team) relationships.
I think the drinking thing is a tricky situation. My son offered up that there was a party he was brought to and there was drinking but that the guys did not put pressure on him to participate and they were “chill” when he passed.
I just hope it wasn’t some unofficial test by the team (sans coaches of course) to see what S would do…
In any case if it was I wouldn’t want my kid to go there if that’s the litmus test…
I’m not naive and I know college kids partake but I’m glad he wasn’t pressured.
The falling down drunk thing should be a red flag for that program your D visited…yikes!
Thanks, fenwaypark, you’re right, we should cross them off the list. I didn’t know what else to call these visits since they are D3 and are designed to woo D to campus. Coaches invited her to come, set up itineraries to meet with admissions, meet with professors, sit in on classes, get a campus tour, have lunch with Coach, meet with Coach in office, play pickup ball with team, stay with team member in the dorm, etc. This last visit Coach told D that if she committed then and there Coach would be very happy.
And yes, you’re right about my previous posts about the HS team situation. When D told me she’d rather hang around with her HS team than the teams she just met, I knew we were in trouble! The HS team situation has fortunately improved, as some problem girls graduated and a bunch of nicer new ones arrived, so I’m glad D decided to stick it out for senior year.
You should call them unofficial visits, because that is what they are.
Official visits are subject to extensive regulation by the NCAA, unofficial visits are not. There are lots of threads here about OVs and unofficial visits and their distinctions. Can’t see a good reason for calling OVs unofficial visits, or unofficial visits OVs. Seems confusing. I would just call them what they are.
As for the coach saying he/she would be very happy if your daughter committed “then and there”…well of course. Just got a free applicant. There are no athletic scholarships in D3. Would have been more meaningful if coach said what kind of support he/she would provide in the admissions process, unless it is not a high academic D3. Did you ask about that?
Glad the high school team situation improved with nicer girls joining, now gotta find a good college team situation with nicer girls than in the two schools your daughter has visited…
Tonymom, yes, I wondered about the litmus test thing as well, but then wondered how the falling down drunk kid made it into the program if that was the case. I was a little surprised by all that.
Fenwaypark, thanks for the clarification about the NCAA rules on OVs that wouldn’t apply to D3 visits. One of the upcoming D3 visits was termed an OV by that coach, so I just assumed that was what D was on when she went on these things.
This past visit was at a school she could get into academically–Coach even said as such–so she wouldn’t need support.
And yes, a big part of the reason I’m sensitive to the team dynamic is because I want D to have a great college experience with her sport, as opposed to what she has had to slog through up until now. I know it’s out there–we just have to find it! The great thing about these visits is it gives D a chance to get feel for the situation. It’s too bad with this last one, b/c the coach is terrific.
NCAA OV rules apply to D3 visits if the visits are OVs. OVs may be granted by D3s, although they are relatively more rare because budgets tend to be lower.
Major characteristics of OVs that do not apply to unofficial visits are: transcript and SAT results required, NCAA eligibility center info required, and…the school pays. Also each student may take no more than 5 OVs to D1 and D2 schools, while unofficial visits are unlimited.
If the coach is referring to an upcoming visit as an OV, then that means he/she is expecting to pay for it. Talk to him/her about it. This is not a slip of the tongue that a typical college coach would (should) inadvertently make.
D3s may grant OVs. Your daughter’s recruitment is very important, I recommend you review the recruiting guides that are undoubtedly published online by the schools (and/or leagues) your daughter is visiting.
I hope these visits didn’t have a dynamic of players freezing her out because they don’t want someone new taking playing time from them, but I wouldn’t put that outside the realm of possibility. I have certainly seen that kind of dynamic on volleyball teams, where like basketball there are typically 2-3x as many players as spots on the floor. Managing that tension is the coach’s job though.
fenwaypark, thank you, I will review the recruiting guides for the specific schools. I hadn’t thought of doing that. And yes, this next visit coming up is being paid for by the school. D has a friend on that team who said that on her OV there, the team had dinner at the coaches house, talked a lot in order to get to know her, then went bowling. Sounds like that’s more our speed!
bluewater, my husband actually thought the same thing about the new person/playing time thing. I don’t know how much the teams have been told about D, but these coaches have all told her they are looking to bring her in to start as a freshman and that she would be a big part of the offense right off the bat. Her sport is basketball. So who knows.
