Can anyone share their experience on DI and DIII official visits? What happens? Are there parties/alcohol? I’ve heard that the coach talks to you at the end, about what? Can you give commitment there?
My daughter went to one at a D3 school. She went to a class on Friday afternoon, she had dinner with her host, and then they went to a music event which my daughter really liked. Yes, she was taken to a party and I’m sure there was alcohol there. She was most uncomfortable with the questions about her sexual orientation and with propositions from women at the party. She was 16. She does not go to that school. She met with the coach at some point, and she went to a field hockey game and I know the coach was there, but it was very casual. The coach contacted her several times after the meeting to ask her to apply ED.
At the D2 school, it was a little different because the school was just starting the team so there were no hosts. We stayed at a hotel. The first day a group of us went around the campus on a tour, the girls stayed with the coach and had dinner, went to a soccer game, and then the parents picked them up and went to the hotel. The next day we met with the coach and she went over the scholarships available (both merit from the school and athletic) and we walked around the campus a little more and then went home. She did receive an offer, but we didn’t except it then.
Son did a number of D3 visits before and after getting roster spot offers from various schools. Typically, coach wanted visit timed to include a home match. Schedule usually included, meal with some team members and some “down” time with the guys, class visit, admissions interview, and coach meeting. Prospects could not sit on the bench or warm up with team but watched from bleachers. They could go into team room before/after match. Several coaches told us that the meals and down time with current players were as important as what coaches thought about kid. Coach meeting varied, depending where coach and my kid were in the recruiting cycle. Some schools had made roster spot offers early, and used those meetings to get kid excited about program and his role. Some others were not ready to commit yet, and walked us through time line and process. A few times, roster spot offers were made in the coach meeting, after kid had spent the day with team members.
Since my kid often had his own weekend matches go play, he didn’t do any weekend overnights. He was offered weed and alcohol by team members on a week night after a game at one school, which he simply declined and felt no pressure to accept. It did make him realize that program wasn’t a good fit because he had watched the team lose pretty badly that afternoon, and was surprised at how calmly they took it-- he was upset for them about the loss.
I saved an old email from my daughter describing her OV at an Ivy:
“Hi Mom and Dad, I discovered this is the most efficient way to communicate with you because I literally have no service, except sporadically around campus. I’ll try to fill you in on what’s been happening so far.
Thursday - I didn’t end up getting in to the airport til about 11pm, where Coach was waiting patiently at the gate for me (still all smiles of course). We shot the breeze while we waited for my luggage (not awkward thankfully, he’s a real chatty Kathy). We hopped in his car and drove to the hotel where another recruit (from here on out will be referred to by her birth name Sarah) was waiting for me in a hotel room. She’s a nice kid from Long Island, we clicked pretty well. We talked for about 15 minutes then called it a night.
Friday - I awoke around 7am to prep myself for the day. By 8am Sarah and I had walked down to the lobby where another recruit (Laura) and her father were waiting as well. Both Sarah and Laura are hurdlers (no comp for me, haha). We waited for about 7 minutes when Coach showed up again. He took our stuff and sent Mr. Laura on his way home (they drove). Our first destination was the Commons where breakfast was being served. Upon arriving, we met my host Kim (who has a stress fracture in her left leg and is consequently out for a few weeks. Bummer). The food was fairly delicious, something I could get used to.
Sarah and I went off with Kim to attend an Intro to Biology class while Laura went with another track girl to Government. The Bio class was a bit tedious, but pretty parallel to what I’ve been learning. After an hour of that, we left to attend a Psych 101 class. I really liked this class. The professor was engaging, even though there were about 1000 students in attendance. We sat with a captain on the track team and a TA for the class. It was very good. We met Coach after Psych and then for the next 5 hours (11am to 4pm) we toured the whole campus on foot, talked with some academic advisors about our potential areas of study, met the coaches, ate lunch, did an area tour with the car, then went back to the outdoor track for their practice
All the girls were super friendly and really close, which was cool. After practice, Kim and I headed back to her dorm and started to get ready to go out. She doesn’t typically hang with the track girls (which was unusual, because they all hang together) and she wanted to show me some of her friends. So we went to one of her friend’s dorms (which is really a townhouse on campus) and I met 5 of Kim’s girlfriends. They were a real hoot (Coach’s word) and very cool about having me around.
Then we met up with another girl and her roommate and walked (FOR FREAKING EVER) to this big frat that was having a huge party. And it was just like the movies. The frat was all lit up with huge posters all over it and there was a line of kids waiting to get in stretching down into the street. I was a little intimidated. However, after waiting in line for a good 20 minutes, the boys in the frat who were controlling the crowd told us no one gets let in. I felt like I was in Wizard of Oz and the munchkin was having a power trip. So we left and walked for freaking ever AGAIN to this other, lesser known frat. It was just crowded and weird. Over and over again the girls kept saying “This is not what our school is really like, I’m so sorry, it’s so much more fun than this!” And I do believe them, because I feel like that happens every time you want a night to go really well. Around midnight, Kim, myself and her friend all walked to get a bite to eat and waited for a bus to pick us up and take us to the freshmen dorms. We got home about 12:30 am (they said this was early for college) and just went to bed. I on the floor, of course, but it was a good experience.
Saturday (today) - We woke up around 9am and I showered. (They have this cool quad-like thing. Kim lives in a double, but she has 3 neighbors, 2 singles and 1 double, and they all share one bathroom which gets cleaned once a week by a maid service. Now we’re preparing to go to a street festival with some other track girls. After that, we pretty much have all day to do what we want (hopefully study some Calc?!) and then at night a track house is having a party, so we’ll for sure get into that one. Should be fun!"
The visit concludes with a sit-down with the coach where he asks your impressions of the school which other schools you’re considering, etc. He may make an offer at that point, or may say he has a few more recruits coming out and he’ll know more in a week or 2.
@varska Thanks for the very detailed and thorough reply. What should athletes bring on their recruiting trips? Should they bring their sports bag if there is time to work out?
@twoinanddone I am a girl as well, who might feel uncomfortable like your D. How did she deal with that and how did she turn down the alcohol? I don’t want to come off as someone who is not cool or willing to have fun.
I’m not sure my daughter did decline the alcohol. I’m not sure a ‘No thanks’ comes off in a negative way. I don’t think there is big pressure to drink, and if there is, then she probably won’t want to go there.
Of all the things she did, she like the a Capella singing the most. I do think the class, game, and party did show my daughter what it would be like to be at this school and unfortunately it wasn’t a fit. That’s what the OV is all about.
I’m told that there is no pressure to accept alcohol.
Sometimes the pressure to drink is internal, not external. If there is pressure one way or the other, you can always accept a plastic cup of beer, walk around with it in your hand, and never drink any.
Coach will talk to your host and future teammates to get their impressions of you. I don’t think any team that you’d want to be a part of would think badly of a teammate that politely declined a drink. On the other hand, I know of a young man that thought the OV was the school’s way to show him a good time. He “good timed” his way right out of an offer.
I agree that students should be cautious about drinking on an official visit, and personally I would say better safe than sorry i.e. politely decline any drinks offered. It’s basically analogous to a 48 hour job interview and I for one would stay away from the booze on an interview.
My son was offered alcohol at only one school out of ten or so. He took the school off his list immediately.
We just returned from a D3 visit. It was a very full weekend, and she stayed in the dorm two nights for the full allotted 48 hours.
Friday was mostly academic: tour, sat in on a class, admissions interview, lunch with coaches and some other recruits, meet with coach and then met her hosts for the weekend (both current team members). The coordinator suggested bringing a sleeping bag but never used it as they had a blow up mattress and bedding for her. She observed a light workout - told us in advance that it was against NCAA rules to participate. That night they watched a men’s game, got pizza and went to sleep as they had their own game the next day.
Saturday was film, team meeting, study table, pre game and then watching the game so she had full experience of an actual game day. They ate as a team after and by the time they got back to the dorms, they were all beat from the long day and game and just hung out talking.
Sunday morning they had Q&A with players and coaches and then we left. About half the girls on the recruit weekend gave their commit before leaving, but she didn’t, nor did she feel pressured.
As far as alcohol and partying, she was not in the situation at this school but more due to the timing of the game I think. She went on another overnight at a D3 and there was not only partying in the dorm but the girls talked about how to hide the hangovers from the coach, and told the recruits to tell the coach they were tired after their travel to the school and went to sleep instead of going out. I really think it’s all over the board.
I would like to attend the OV with my son- I would like him to have fun- do whatever he wants all weekend, I just want to be there for the meeting with the coach so nothing is lost and we are all on the same page- I assume this seems reasonable but curios what others think?
FWIW, certainly seems reasonable to me. The trick may be nailing down exactly when that meeting will occur – presumably at some point late Saturday morning. Maybe have your son indicate to the coach in advance that you’d like to participate so that arrangements can be made?
It’s reasonable. I went on the tour & met with coach. As soon as she met her host for the weekend I didn’t see her until the game the following night.
I took my daughter to her overnight because of transportation issues. I stayed in a hotel, she stayed on campus. She called me to ask me to go to on the tour of the school (regular public tour on a Saturday) so I did that. I had met the coach when I dropped her off, but that was all of 5 minutes. I’m not sure she ever had a meeting with the coach.
On another school’s visit, the time with the coach was scheduled for the ‘family’ to meet with the coach.
I accompanied my kids on quite a few unofficial visite, but the idea of tagging along on an official visit seems strange to me.
the OV schedule is pretty set as far as start/finish
Usually at end of visit coach meets with athlete and that is a great time if parent wants to join in
Host usually brings athlete to coaches office at a predetermined time
Athlete can sit with coach to discuss visit and talk while parent is outside then join in or some coaches have both parent and athlete sit in together from beginning
Would recommend just staying away until post meeting
Agree with Fleishmo. I do believe that many coaches want the parent to be at the meeting. Not that the coach wants the parent to talk per se, but some coaches must feel there is value in having a sense of what the family is thinking. Take for example a meeting with a recruit at which the recruit commits but the parent is unable to pay for the education. It is sensible to take the parents’ temperature. That way, the coach does not think he has a spot filled only to learn that the parents did not agree and have the recruit back out. Also had one coach say he wanted to meet the parents to see what kind of people they are (maybe he wanted to make sure they were not psycho sideline parents).
With the exception of a public event like a tour, the rest of the weekend is for the recruit. Find a good movie (or stream an entire series).