<p>Momzie, I think your concerns ignore the element of fit which the Adcoms attempt to assess. Is a quiet, introverted student going to lose out when compared with a more verbal extroverted student? That is definitely true for some colleges. Many of them are called LACs. The quiet introverted student probably does not belong at Vassar. Among other characteristics, Vassar seems to select students who are extroverted and have strong communication skills. In addition to essays, they even want a writing sample that has been submitted and graded for a HS course. The quieter, more introverted student may fit better somewhere else. That somewhere else might in fact be a very selective college with a different perspective. </p>
<p>There seems to be an idea that the essays need to demonstrate really advanced writing skills and be fun, humorous, inciteful, etc, etc. Maybe some schools want that. Others are trying to assess the characteristics of the applicant and writing skills may be much less important. </p>
<p>When my older D was a 3rd grader, she won a national PTA art competition. We had an opportunity to view her artwork along with the second, third place and honorable mentions from around the country. There were some really great pieces. Many looked like they had been done by artistic adults. My D's looked like it had been done by a 3rd grader, but there was something special which I could never attempt to describe. Her personality and excitement were there along with the dribbles of paint. That kid who loves Greece and Homer does not need to write a masterpiece of literature for their essay. They don't even need to write about Greece and Homer. They certainly don't want to write a brag sheet about how they taught themselves Greek. They do need to write something which reflects some of these positive characteristics.</p>
<p>Oh, I needed to see this thread. DS just showed me the first drafts of three of his essays and they were...painful. Mathmom, I can TOTALLY relate to one's unwilingness to be personal or introspective! At the same time, he used the word "I" 29 times in a 425 word essay...</p>
<p>I will suggest to him that he look at some of his blog entries...they sparkle with wit and enthusiasm. In the meantime, he has moved the laptop to the back porch (away from online access and the newspaper editors who call/IM at all hours) and is cranking out new essays in the afternoon sun. I am going back to my sewing machine, sticking pins in fabric, and biting my tongue.</p>
<p>edad: I guess for me it's also about values. I'm not sure that having a teenager who's "worldly" is all it's cracked up to be. ACtually, I think that being worldly, jaded and cynical at the age of sixteen is pretty good preparation for ending up divorced later in life, ending up with multiple kids from multiple marriages, and in general spending most of your adult life running around looking for something that you never seem to be able to find. What I'm concerned about is that most of the qualities that you find rewarded in the admissions process are to some degree that Seinfeldesque, ironical quality where everything seems somehow beneath you, and that rather than taking anything completely seriously, you're supposed to somehow sneer at it and show how you're above it. It seems that one of the qualities that's frowned upon is earnestness, as it's generally judged as naivete. It's the kid that's able to somehow lean back, cross his arms and pronounce his trip to Europe as "boring" that the admissions committees seem to find winning. I'm all for taking my kids places and giving them experiences, but I'm NOT interested in cultivating a jaded, cynical worldview -- in my kids or myself. I think doubleplay may be on to something here with her description of the typical day of a bright student who studies hard .</p>
<p>My son wrote his main essay about his difficult decision to quit playing soccer after 10th grade to join the cross country team instead. Soccer had been the focus of his life since he was about six years old, but he was no longer having fun with it and did not enjoy playing on our high school's team. According to most admissions advice that one reads, this is considered to be a trite topic which should not be used. He was admitted to very competitive schools (not to brag, but Stanford, Harvard, MIT, and Princeton) using this essay - it showed who he was and what was really important to him - and I guess the Admissions Deciders were ok with that.</p>
<p>My daughter wrote her essay about restoring an old car with her dad. She is not studying engineering or anything else related to this project, and cannot claim to have done all of the restoration by herself as she does not have sufficient knowledge and skills. I was sort of worried that writing about her love for a CAR would sound too materialistic and would not go over well with the Deciders (especially at a school known for community service, etc. like Swarthmore). However, this was the most important thing to her, it showed who she was, and she wanted to write about it. She was also very successful in her college admissions efforts. </p>
<p>The one thing I can say about both of my kids' essays is that they definitely showed a side of them that would not be apparent from the rest of their applications. Also, relating to Momzie's post #83, it was very apparent that these essays were NOT written by kids who could be best described as jaded, cynical, or edgy.</p>
<p>I hate holistic admissions. They make everyone crazy. Give me a numbers based admission process. Then we'd at least know where our kids stand. We'd at least understand the decison making. What we have is a hollywood audition. A zillion kids trying to be the new "it" voice. I'm just disgusted, wish we'd moved to Europe year's ago.</p>
<p>mammall, moving into the realm of holistic admissions is a choice. Holistic considerations are not a major concern for the vast majority of the thousands of colleges and universities in the US. The uncertainly mainly exists for only a few dozen of the country's very selective schools. It is pretty hard to see how numbers alone would work for HYP and the other very selective schools. There are way more kids with near perfect grades and SATs than could be accepted. Perhaps they would need to add IQ testing. The cutoff would be about 160 or so. Would that help you with the uncertainty?</p>
<p>mammal - or you could just relax and let holistic admissions be what it's supposed to be. The kids and families follow the path they believe in, one that is reasonably organic. Then the colleges take a look at where that path takes the hordes of 17 and 18-year olds they have to evaluate. The "it voice" thing is something parents choose to reinforce for their kids.</p>
<p>Alumother--I see it the same way. My kids presented who they were--they didn't try to be some "it" voice. If who they were wasn't what College A was looking for, then fine, there was College B or C. Wherever they ended up, they'd be there because of their authentic selves, not because they'd tried to game what colleges wanted. And if others are doing that, well, so be it. To us, the best path still seemed to be--show who you are (albeit the best view of yourself) and let the rest go.</p>
<p>The bottom line bseems to be if you don't cause that burned out adcom type who is on his/her 75th essay of the day sit up and take notice you don't have a winner. Sure you could write about an introspective moment or quiet times you've enjoyed but, from what I've read about writting college essays they'd rather read about you jumping out of an airplane or helping an accident victim to the hospital and how the experianced changed you... or not. Stay away from the cliche type stuff or anything that is going to make someone yawn... even though you, the author, may have found the exprience to be profound or exciting somehow.</p>
<p>FWIW, my nephew wrote about his distaste for cheese--should add that this was a humorous essay!--and was admitted to several high-tier colleges with merit awards. No high drama for him. He had a nice set of stats and ECs, too, but nothing earthshaking. I like to believe that adcoms are people like me, people who would appreciate essays of all types for various reasons.</p>
<p>Mammall, I know holistic admissions can be frustrating & the vagueness of admissions counselors can be annoying. But I really believe that there are so many interesting & high quality schools from which to choose, my kids will be just fine. If they don't click with A, B, C, or D, then E, F, or G is bound to like what they have to offer.</p>
<p>As for Europe: My B-I-L has five neices & nephews in Germany, two of whom are on waiting lists to even attend college. Their parents are neurosurgeons & the kids are great students. But they still don't have spots available! I prefer the US system any day.</p>
<p>From what I've seen, most college essays have prompts, and the vast majority of those prompts are to write about an achievement, challenge, mind-altering experience, or your contribution to university life. The few prompts that my sons had that allowed them to be more creative were more fun for them, and probably resulted in more interesting essays. </p>
<p>If you look online at essay examples, or check out books, it does seem that the more glamorous and unique experiences dominate. This includes world travel, adventure, and "I ran into the burning building" or "I saved a patient's life when I was candy striping" experiences. It would be nice if students were just told, "Write about whatever you want, here are some ideas you might consider, but anything you want to write about is acceptable."</p>
<p>My kids heard repeatedly from their peers, instances where they would just make something up. Is this unethical? For example, my son surfs a lot. Let's say he wrote an essay about surfing in which he gets bumped by a shark, then ponders the meaning of life, then institutes a program to teach/warn youngsters about beach wildlife. Granted, he's seen a few fins but he's never actually had a shark aggressively come after him. But hey, the story is so much more interesting if you get chased by the shark!</p>
<p>Give me the "why I hate cheese" prompt anyday!</p>
<p>Nightingale--I still disagree with your bottom line. I do not think students need to write about jumping out of planes, curing cancer, etc.</p>
<p>My S wrote about bringing his telescope to band camp. Nothing flashy, but very thoughtful, and got into his first choice school. I think they just want to here the real you--this idea of the jawdropping essay seems to have grown out of a weird mix of sensationalist guidebooks and oft-repeated but not necessarily accurate strawman anecdotes. I think it's counterproductive to just getting the job done, as best as the student can.</p>
<p>S2 wrote 3 essays. One was about an experience lots of high schoolers have had: trying to finish a project at the 11th hour (in his case, in the car) for a minor competition. The second was about writing web fiction (I was dubious about that choice of topic, but it was his essay, not mine); and a third was about a skit he and friends had mounted during a summer program.
S1's best essay was about joining a discussion group in high school and learning to agree to disagree. Another essay was about realizing that he loved the humanities more than math/science (my reaction was "Why point out your weaknesses?" but again, it was his essay, not mine).
Neither wrote about how they'd cured cancer or climbed Everest.They both had successful admission results.</p>
<p>My son wrote about running for student body president (and losing). It was a very funny account of running on a platform of free speech and having his posters censored by the administration. Everyone who read it loved it and he had highly successful admission results.</p>
<p>It seems that the bottom line is that some of us are reading books with misleading information. Kids do not need to write essays that highlight remarkable achievements. The do just fine writing about mundane topics. Maybe the adcoms would like to see some really unique essays that they can remember out of the thousands they read. They may be true, but that may have little to do with admission decisions. </p>
<p>I suspect there are some really well written essays that reflect the student's interests and passions and also indicate that the student is a poor fit for a specific school. It is just ancedotal, but I do believe my D had a few of thosse.</p>
<p>Personally, if I were an adcom, I would be bored silly with the "I went to Guatemala and learned to be more appreciative of differences" or "I learned the importance of life when my grandmother died" or even "when I worked in the bio lab, I realized the life/death decisions that are made every day as a result of science".</p>
<p>edad, I think you are right about the fit issue. As a matter of fact, an online essay service gave an example where an adcom did not like a boy's essay because he sounded too introverted; she commented that he would spend too much time in his room studying or on the computer, something the college wants to avoid. If that is the case, that school would be a bad fit for that student. And I know that if my son were to have been rejected by a school because he seemed too much into sports, that would not be the right place for him as well.</p>