Prompt: Tell us where you have lived - and for how long - since you were born; whether you’ve always lived in the same place, or perhaps in a variety of places. (100 word limit
Response:
For fifteen tranquil years, I spent my summers and winters on a small, obscure island, watching the teal waves envelop my ashy, petite, toes as my mother fuelled ethics of humility, companionship, and gaiety into me. Nonetheless, the transition from waking up in a salty, cozy island to a dry and barren nation landlocked by war-driven nations was arduous. I first dove into the polluted pool of a conflicted country on August 23, 2014. The country and I swallowed our initial acrimony towards each other, and avoided rivalry. Later, through exploration and experience I found love in her.
Stop using the thesaurus. Sounds like you’ve lived some interesting places; give an example of how that’s informed your beliefs/opinions/character, instead of adding adjectives.
Why would you think it’s a prank? That question has been on the Brown Supplement for the past several years so it’s a reasonable guess that it will show up again.
Unless you talk like that on a daily basis, I wouldn’t fluff up the vocabulary so much. I know it’s hard to make an impact in 100 words, but you can. My S had same essay this year and he showed how he lived in large Iraqi immigrant community when US invaded Iraq and now lives along border with the current immigration issues and how being parts of these communities has shaped him. Simple but effective. Basically I agree with Bruno4
